I've just been interviewed by one of London's leading law firms (who shall remain nameless on the off chance they employ me) and I can't help but be struck by the lunacy of the interview process. In the same way that IQ tests are only good for revealing which people are good at IQ tests it seems that interviews are only got at establishing who is good at interviews. I don't know if its because all my friends are pseudo-junkies and wannabe alcoholics but I've yet to make the aquaintance of somebody who has a great story about a time they had to work as team and deal with someone difficult, or the time they had to work as a team and change somebody's mind, or that one occasion where they had to work as a team and tell someone off. Its nonsense! Surely people doing interviews know that everyone just makes up those stories? What is the interview trying to establish? Who's the best story-teller? I'm a lawyer, if they want me to do a legal job then why don't they get me to do some legal work. I was there for three hours, surely a demonstration of my abilities would be more appropriate and perfectly possible within the avaliable time.
Working in HR must be the most depressing job on the planet. Asking someone a load of nonsensical questions just so you can hear the fairytale they've created. They know it's a lie, you know it's a lie - for whom exactly is this interview being conducted? Even the interviewer (one of several) couldn't hide his contempt. We'd talk about something and have a lively discussion and then he'd glaze over and read out 'name a time when blah blah blah' and mechanically write down the answer. Plus the job isn't that difficult. I'm not applying to be Secretary General of the UN. I will essentially be collating documents and using a phone. In spite of this I've had a written test and two hours of interviews with three different people. Appropriate questions would be 'Can you work a photocopier?' 'Can you make decent coffee?' 'Are you going to get hammered every Sunday night and call in sick for work on Monday?' not 'If you got a job here how would you raise your reputation for competance?' WHAT? Ummmm I'd make sure not to throw up at my desk when I was hungover and blame all my mistakes on other people.
Interviews favour the sniveling and the ignorant. People of minor intellect who work themselves to death to get to the middle of the pile. It will never be acceptable at a job interview to say 'I didn't go to a single one of my classes cause I was too drunk, but I did get 100% on the exam' so I'm never going to get a job. Mmmmmm free time.
1 comment:
I can't even think about nightmare interviews without getting vivid flashbacks of the time I interviewed at a real estate firm in NYC and the man interviewing me very purposely folded up my cv to use it as a coaster. That's probably unrelated.
You are brilliant, I'll hire you. And you don't have to lie to me at all.
Post a Comment