One of those days

Got a puncture on my bike, had to wear horrible suit to work, avocado I had for lunch wasn't ripe, typed a HUGE e-mail which took 45mins which then disappeared. *Sigh*. Roll on 5:30.

The paths of good and evil

Just coming down to earth with some unpleasant jolts after a weekend of decadence in Amsterdam. Had a 6am flight from Gatwick to get, so obviously I went to bed stone cold sober on friday night at about 9pm. Except by 9pm I mean 2am and 'stone cold sober' means drunk off my ass, stoned to the point of incoherence and with some coke rubbed into my gums so I could stay awake on the cab ride home. Despite my best efforts to sabotage my holiday, I made the flight in body but not necessarily in mind. Was a great weekend of glorious sunshine, great food and smoking the reefer. Our accomodation was somewhat lacking in luxury but had all necesary amenities and it was an apartment, rather than a hotel so came with a certain sense of freedom. Our trip (6 of us, plus couple of others making brief guest appearances) basically consisted of smoking a joint, wandering to a cafe for a drink, wandering to a coffee shop and having a joint, getting lunch, wander, drink, wander, joint etc etc. As Amsterdam is the most beautiful city in northern europe and the sunshine was spectacular the whole holiday passed in blissful contemplation. Hit up the Rijksmuseum which was mostly shut and there was only a selection of about 9 rooms worth of stuff to see - couple of STUNNING inlaid cabinets, great Vermeers, surprisingly shoddy Nightwatchmen, great Rembrants.

The highlight of the trip had to be the food. This is a shame because when I tell people about it I can see them thinking 'you were so stoned you could've been eating gravel out of a bin and thought it was ambrosia' but really it wasn't just the pot, the food was incredible. We went to a Thai restaurant called the Bird and a great Indonesian whose name escapes me. The Thai was extraordinary - easily the best Thai I've ever had. We had one of those mixed appetiser starter things and every element of it was differently spiced, uniquely flavoured and cooked to perfection. I find Thai food suffers the most from lazy cooking - everything can easily end up tasting the same. The Bird puts such lazy caterers to shame and they should all be forced to go and experience the standard they should be aiming for.

Interesting thing I learned about Holland this weekend was that they have the WORST taste in music. A couple of locals (friends of one of my holiday companions) took us to a club that they said had funkier, edgier music they had found in the entire city. The night hit a low note when 'Summer loving' from Grease came on. Apprently the Dutch can't get enough of 80s power ballads either - I heard 'Alone' by Heart song about 50 times while I was there and had it stuck in my head yesterday and today as a result, in fact I'm humming it right now.

I went through this whole trip thinking seriously about whether or not I could move to Amsterdam. After my first trip there I took it as a given, but just to ensure that wasn't the pot thinking for me I gave it some serious contemplation this weekend from the point of actually existing there rather than just showing up, getting stoned and leaving. I guess the short answer is a resounding yes, especially since the people we met there told me that if you buy a flat in Amsterdam you get 50% of the value of the mortgage back out of your taxes. Its a small, perfectly formed city which means that funky newsagents, great food and fun bars are all within walking distance. The real estate is gorgeous and plentiful and obviously much cheaper than London. Its hard to deny that I would have a much better quality of life in the Dam than I do now. Plus it seems a paralegal there makes about 12K more than I do now. Hello.

So now I am faced with two options - move to Amsterdam or to Madrid. The Dam is much more the person that I was and still tend towards. I'd be in cold, northern european country, smoking pot, not going out very much, eating too much. Madrid and living with Drury would be far more inclined to clean living, yoga, sunshine (ugh) and socialising. So really I should move to Madrid, but I want to go to Amsterdam. Madrid would be really good for me, the Dam really enjoyable. The Dam a step back, Madrid a step forward. Hence the paths of good and evil. Which to choose? Perhaps the biggest plus for Amsterdam is that the language isn't too much of a problem EVERYBODY speaks english. Spain its more difficult because so many people speak Spanish. hmmmmmm.

Busy busy bee

I've acutally been really busy this week, sort of. I've been busy cause I've been sent on errands out of the office which has meant that I've sat down at my desk at about 3 o clock. However, as the errands involved taking documents to destinations all over London on my bike I've spent most of my work week on my bike in the sunshine, so its basically been a holiday (cycling tour of London? Pretty fancy holiday from that side opf the pond). Plus the documents should've been dealt with in a day, but these things are never as straight forward as you think they're going to be. I won't go through the whole saga, but just give an example from today: had to get a document stamped at the UAE Embassy. For some reason this costs £400, I cycle over there and discover you can't pay by card so schlep off to the nearest cash point. It says my credit card is broken (no office credit card, I have to pay and claim it back!) and can't be read and I can only get £250 out on my swtich. The Embassy is closing in 20mins, so I have no choice but to head back to the office. Cost to client £300, achievement 0. Been like that all week, shouldn't complain as its basically been my dream 'work' week but it has meant that I'm behind on blogging, MSN chats and my internet gossip.

For instance the fact that I went two days ago to get soup dumplings went completely unremarked (YUM YUM YUM) and I've barely got time to mention how rubbish the new Indiana Jones film is, which I saw last night. Its really not a difficult job to make a movie that meets my low expectations of entertainment - I've seen Alien versus Predator at least three times, not because I'm a sadist but because I think its a genuinely enjoyable movie. The fact that Indiana Jones made go 'God that was rubbish' shows how low the franchise has sunk, Brittany thought it was worse than 10,000 BC ... bit harsh if you ask me but she's not 100% wrong.

Back to the grindstone

I'm back at work after having the day off yesterday with an 'injured' back. Tuesday I'd cycled home like a maniac, did my usual 45min journey in 25 minutes, and woke up yesterday to realise there was no way I'd summon the strength to cycle in and couldn't face the cost and time it takes to travel in on public transport. Plus my nice suit is at the Brick Lane flat for me to change into when I cycle in so I'd have to wear the other one. 'Nice' is a relative term, it's my nice suit because its made of natural fibres, is tailored and doesn't have two holes in the groin. Bearing in mind I bought it in a charity shop and is tailored for a man who was roughly the same size as me but had a HUGE stomach ... mum removed a panel that had been inserted into the waist band and the trousers fit me perfectly, the jacket fits great round the shoulders and then there's about 5 meteres of spare fabric round the waist. The other is black polyester (just fabulous in the sun we're having), is ten years old and has two big holes in the groin. Sometimes I think I might be TOO fancy.

So why the rapido cycling home? Well, I had a date! It was organised at the last minute at work so I had the choice of cycling straight over (big sweaty mess in 15 year old jumper that is ripped, stained with bleach and had a white crust of dried sweat on the back) or cycling home and tubing it. So it was all in an effort to get home quickly, shower and get out in good time (as it turns out I had to wait 25mins for a train so it was all pointless anyway). Date was really nice, guy I met on the internet and had spoken to a couple of times on the phone. We had some drinks and then as I'd not eaten (he had) went in search of somewhere to get food. Due to a combination of my extreme cheapness and the fact that we were in the middle of nowhere we ended up going to Tesco to buy food. He needed to do grocery shopping, there was stuff I needed to get so we ended up shopping and then going home! Its not exactly a recipe for eroticism and romance, as dates go I don't think it would be high on anybody's list of aspirational outings, but I loved it! I love supermarkets, he was a great guy and was a really pleasant way to spend the evening. Plus I did the grocery shopping I'd been meaning to do for ages.

So it doesn't look like we'll be tearing each others clothes off any time soon, but I hope we'll definitely be friends and maybe it will lead somewhere in the future.

Ooooooh

Wow, my computer has forgiven me and finally I'm being allowed to blog again. Whats been happening? Hmmmmmm went to see the tutankhmun exhibition. Normally find old crap really boring but was absolutely blown away. Mum's birthday today so went home over the weeked. Joing the gym after work. Not a lot really. Out of the last 5 weekends I've spent 4 of them with family. THIS HAS TO STOP. From now on its going to be me me me (no change there) and hanging out with friends. Unless I'm at the gym, which should be 24 hours a day.

Ah Texas

My friend sent me this from Texas ... apparently this is a sign on her local pharma:

The Spanish cracks me up. Does Pharma mean pharmacy? why do they do screen printing? Oh its LA FAMA, means nothing to me

English Criminals

A drunk Barrister got shot today in a gun battle with the police in his £2million Chelsea flat. It might be the poshest crime I've ever heard of.

Actual fun

Having survived a few days of bored rain watching and misplaced anticipation I then embarked on some actual fun over the weekend. Spent time with mum on saturday afternoon wandering round the shops in glorious sunshine. Later on I cycled over to the BrickLane flat to pick up a pair of trousers I left there which I thought had my switch card in. My switch card was not in them. I cycled 12 miles for a pair of trousers. Plus I picked up my suit from there this morning and found my switch card in my suit pocket, so I could've got it. Grrrrr. Anywho, went home showered and waited for Andrew to arrive. Then we went over to the house mum was staying at (short walk across the common) where my brother was having a buffet/party for 5 or 6 of his friends. Got there and mum was absolutely plastered (arrived at 9:30, dinner was at 7:00) and spent the evening drinking and smoking with her and Andrew while everybody else went off to Infernos (ugh). Sample of my mum's conversation 'There was this time when I was going out with this Portugese bullfighter and I hit my head on a cupboard in his flat and had a concussion for three days. The doctor told me to stay in bed but I was so bored I went out and got drunk a lot instead, I was so concussed I don't remember anything about all three days'. That's mum for you.

Sunday I hung around the house and made curry before heading up to Stoke Newington in the afternoon for a barbeque that the Minges were having. Was fun, although the longer I was there and the drunker I got the more old and inappropriate feelings for Andrew resurfaced and I ended up sneaking off about 11pm without saying goodbye. Went round the Brick Lane flat which was in full party mode and ended up staying up til about 3am pounding beers and having a great time.

Monday was cinquo de mayo and after a morning of sitting outside in the pub enjoying the sunshine we re-camped to the roof of the Brick Lane flat (which has an amazing view of the city) and sat up there drinking beers, doing tequila shots and eating nachos. Lizzie's friends came over as well as a few of the usual suspects and in general a good time was had by all. The evening consisted of Vindaloo, Werner Herzog's new movie White Diamond (good) and a movie called Teeth about a girl who has teeth in her vagina (you can imagine). I also watched Southland Tales which is the new movie by the guy that did Donnie Darko. I thought Darko was TERRIBLE, really pretentious, seemingly full of hidden meaning but in fact meaningless and jumbled, poor characterisation and a film that wasn't sure what it was trying to be. Southland Tales confirmed my opinion of Richard Kelly (thanks IMDB!) ... possibly the worst film I've ever seen (so says a man who has seen Gigli 5 times and Swept Away) and this was in spite of the fact that it had Sean William Scott (future husband), the Rock (HOT!), Sarah Michelle Gellar (love her, well, love Buffy) and Bai Ling (speaks for itself) playing some of the major roles.

Back to work today. I will not cry. Well, not at my desk anyway.

Time well spent

So what did I do with my days off? Not a lot really ... the weather was terrible and many hours were spent indoors looking at the rain falling on my skylight. This was why the one day off got extended, its not really a day off if you're just inside waiting for the rain to stop is it? The one time I decided to go out on my bike I set off in shorts and sunglasses and by the time I got to the end of my road was slammed by a monsoon which quickly forced me back inside. The terrible weather definitely compounded my furstration with life in general - so many places in the world a day off work would mean cycling through sun dappled country lanes, wine tasting in local vineyards, ANYTHING but because I live in London it just meant staring resentfully at the sky and trudging to the supermarket for supplies. Thursday afternoon I finally snapped and went and met Clare for a drink.

Mum was coming into town for the weekend and Andrew was coming up from the south of France, alas I was to miss them both as I was off on holiday to Amsterdam for the weekend. Thursday I saw a show about a woman seeing what would happen if she smoked a lot of pot for a month (part of series in which she didn't wash for a month, had lots of plastic surgery in a month etc). This meant there were lots of shots of her hanging out in Amsterdam giggling hysterically while trying to conduct interviews, needless to say this got me all excited and full of urgent anticipation (on a side note, did you know that Pot isn't legal in Amsterdam, its just tolerated? Sensible Dutch people). So I texted Lexi on Friday saying 'ooooh I can't wait to go to the Dam its going to be so much fun' and she sent back 'I know! I can't believe we have to wait so long'. I was thinking it's only about 12 hours, can she really be that impatient? On checking my ticket it tuned out we're going on the 24th May. I'd like to point out that already that day I'd checked my flight details on line to see what time I had to get to the airport and failed to notice that I was intending to arrive three weeks early. Having to tell about 15 people that you are in fact NOT going on holiday as you'd previously thought is no fun whatsoever.

It's oh so quiet .....

Many apologies for lack of dedication to blogging. This lapse in attention has not been limited purely to the blogosphere but to life in general. Having recently had a week of holiday you'd think I'd be all gung ho and ready to launch myself into solid months of endless work but NO! In defiance of decency, hard work and the spirit of the blitz I was off sick for the last three days of last week. So that means I can manage about 2 and a half weeks of work before I require a holiday. I personally blame my boss ... I had a sore throat on Monday (possibly just from smoking over the weekend) which then developed in a cough on Tuesday morning and worsened throughout the day. Ended up being a long day and during the last two hours of work, both of which were outside conventional office hours, produced no fewer than 5 different contracts. so I was tired, miserable and dragging my sorry butt home when my boss heard me coughing and said 'God, bet you're not going to be in work tomorrow, go home, drink some lemsip and have an early night'. I mean she practically DARED me to take time off right? So I thought I'd have a relaxed day off and come back in. One became three, the rest is history.

Its all got to do with a general malaise over work in general. I quite like my job and its not too badly paid ... it's just not GOING anywhere. The whole point of the paralegaling was as a stop gap before I got my taining contract and became a high-flying legal eagle. Alas it was not to be and as the credit crunch deepens the possibility of a training contract slips ever further away. being paid an average salary in the world's most expensive city is no way to live. I spend my whole life not spending money, not going to restaurants and not going to the opera/pub/cinema , I pay minimal rent and somehow at the end of every month I have no money left. Obviously things could be a lot worse, but they could also be a lot better and I intend to do something about that. I've applied for a training contract starting September 2008. If it doesn't work out then I'm out of here ... job in Singapore, Dubai or Hong Kong. My original idea was a job in India, but foreign law frims are not yet allowed to practice there and I don't think anyone would employ me locally.

I've been trying to save money to take advantage of the half price shopping I'll be able to do when I'm stateside. Now, however, I'm cutting down on my extravagant spending plans and am considering it a relocation fund instead. If I get the training contract then I'm going to take August off and go traveling, if not then I'm using the cash to get to HK!