Knee Surgery

Not a lot to report ... I'm in my third week of post-surgery recovery. Some pictures for your delectation:

Have to confess that the photos are quite old now and things are already MUCH improved. Still wearing the stupid leg brace though - three more weeks of that to enjoy.

Steve's Birthday

Went camping over the weekend to celebrate Steve's birthday. Really enjoyed the whole evening much more than I thought I would ... and I was looking forward to it. Here's a picture of me shitting myself with excitement in my tent:

Obviously my happiness has got nothing to do with the full bar occupying 50% of my tent. Ehem. Since the gays were the only people who had bought a realistic amount of alcohol (8 of us, therefore 2.5 litres of spirits, 18 beers, 18 ciders, 5 bottles of wine) we were forced to hide it all from the rest of the group. My tent became known as Catacombs ... the gayest of gay bars in the whole of the Forest of Dean. Was so much fun.

Came home and had a poignant mum and son moment - realised that we both had our joint rolling equipment in bags on the coffee table. 'How alike we are' I thought and then realised that hers was a bag she got free with Good Housekeeping magazine and mine was a leather Gucci makeup bag (which I bought in a moment of vanity and self-aggrandisation in my early teens).

The Diet Delusion

I cannot recommend reading the Diet Delusion by Gary Taubes any more highly. 500 pages of impeccable research and a thoughtful examination of current dietary thinking. A book so full of revelations that I almost got exhausted of being surprised by them. I had to restrain myself from reading bits to people on the tube on more than one occasion ... anyone who has been on the tube knows what a big no-no that is and anyone who knows me knows what a big no-no that is for me. In summary:

1. Dietary fat, whether saturated or not, is not the cause of obesity, heart disease, or any other chronic disease of civilisation.

2. The problem is carbohydrates in the diet, their effect on insulin secretion, and thus the hormonal regulation of homeostasis - the entire harmonic ensemble of the human body. The more easily digestible and refined the carbohydrates, the greater the effect on our height, weight and well-being.

3. Sugars - sucrose and high-fructose corn syrup specifically - are particularly harmful, probably because the combination of fructose and glucose simultaneously elevates insulin levels while overloading the liver with carbohydrates.

4. Through their direct effect on insulin and blood sugar, refined carbohydrates, starches and sugars are the dietary cause of coronary heart disease and diabetes. They are the most likely dietary causes of cancer, Alzheimer's disease, and the other chronic diseases of civilisation.

5. Obesity is a disorder of excess fat accumulation, not overeating, and not sedentary behaviour.

6. Consuming excess calories does not cause us to grow fatter, any more than it causes a child to grow taller. Expending more energy than we consume does not lead to long term weight loss; it leads to hunger.

7. Fattening and obesity are cause by an imbalance in the hormonal regulation of adipose tissue and fat metabolism. Fat synthesis and storage exceed mobilisation of fat from the adipose tissues and its subsequent oxidation. We become leaner when the hormonal regulation of the fat tissue reverse this balance.

8. Insulin is the primary regulator of fat storage. When insulin levels are elevated - either chronically (diabetes) or after a meal - we accumulate fat in our fat tissue. When insulin levels fall, we release fat from our fat tissue and use it for fuel.

9. By stimulating insulin secretion, carbohydrates make us fat and ultimately cause obesity. The fewer carbohydrates we consume, the leaner we will be.

10. By driving fat accumulation, carbohydrates also increase hunger and decrease the amount of energy we expend in metabolism and physical activity.

Is he right? Who knows, I'm no biochemistry expert. I think its enough that if he is even partially right it would be a complete revolution in the concept of diet and exercise. For me he has removed COMPLETELY any feelings of guilt surrounding food and my diet. Its difficult to express what that means to me; I was first put on a diet at 7 years old and thereafter the implication was that it was my conscious fault for being overweight and the only thing standing in my way was my lack of dedication and self control. Feeling like a failure for 21 years is grinding.

Compelling evidence to the contrary has revolutionised my life, my happiness and my entire attitude towards existence. Everyone should read this book and anyone who struggles with their weight should HAVE to read it, it is nothing less than extraordinary. I would love to disseminate Gary's ideas as far and wide as I'm able to. Unfortunately I'm no Oprah so I'm limited to publishing them on my blog. To get the full weight of his rationale and to appreciate the science behind it please read the book. Rant over.

In case you think on my own one of the jacket quotes is:

'This book is a most important contribution to Mankind - really an historic book.'

Jeremy Stone, president of The American Federation of Scientists.

Different title in the States:http://www.amazon.com/Good-Calories-Bad-Controversial-Science/dp/1400033462/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251383113&sr=8-1

Home sweet home

Today marks the day I officially left London and moved back home with mum. Been living out of a bag for a couple of weeks so I'm really happy to be back with my stuff around me and my full wardrobe to choose from. I'm not Carrie Bradshaw but two weeks of washing two shirts and one gym outfit is more than one gay can be expected to stand.

Brittany had a friend to stay the last day I was also resident and this conversation took place:

Ruth: What does your dad do?

Brit: He's a salesman for AIG, has his own business and acts independantly

ME: (applause as I enter stage left) Wait, he's an independant financial adviser?

Brit: Yeah

Me: That's what I want to do for a living

Brit: Really? Dad's always asking if I have any friends who want to come and work for him. So I guess if you're willing to move to New Jersey you'd have a job.

Me: I am willing

Brit: No, seriously. If you're willing to live in New Jersey I will send him your CV. Actually, we're only about 30 mins from New York so you could live in the city.

Me: How have we known each other for 10 years and not had this conversation before?

So there we are ... CV has been submitted, everything is crossed. Just hoping her dad is till in the market for an employee.

Mmmmmmmmmmm cake

I don't have my cord to attach my camera to my laptop so illustration will have to wait. It's Henry's birthday on Tuesday and on Saturday he had a dinner party for 9 of us. Was Steve, Doig, Faye, Helen, Paul, Henry, Craig and myself. As usual Henry went all out on the catering and a supremely delicious mussel soup with homemade bread was followed by red mullet with a selection of salads (including peach, mozzarella and mint which was delicious). he big bang at the end of the meal was his birthday cake which had no fewer than 7 layers! An extravaganza of sponge, red velvet, butter cream, meringue ... the list goes on. It was amazing. Plus cheese and petite fours. I supplied the chocolates and mighty fine they were too, from www.meltchocolates.com. They bloody well should have been too - 25 chocolates set me back almost £40. Basically spent the same on chocolates that I spent on Henry's present!

It was such a good night - really close knit group of people, all on top form, having a really magical evening together. Ended up with the gays shrieking and chasing each other with fat calipers while drinking pomegranate martinis at 5 o clock in the morning. Passed out where I stood and ate my way through my hangover the following day. Can't wait for Henry's birthday next year!

Green shoots

Feeling trapped and miserable is getting old. Jobless, in pain, suffering under the rule of Miriam. But it occurs to me - I have £4000 in my bank account, a big brain, legal training and middle class parents.

People have taken over the world with a lot less.

Sound of dust blowing ...

Bored, bored, bored

Done nothing since I had my bike accident last Tuesday, my knee isn't actually too terrible but I'm gravely concerned about making it worse. Spent all of Friday at Accident and Emergency getting bandaged from ankle to thigh and being issued with crutches. Supposed to maintain that until my appointment with the consultant on Wednesday. Weekend before I had my bike accident I had a lovely time ... Thursday was book club at which we discussed The Old Man and the Sea and The Informers by Juan Gabriel Vasquez - a book so bad it would take the entire computing capacity of the world wide web to contain my disgusted rant against it. Friday night I went for leaving drinks to say goodbye to Gisele who's off to live in Houston recruiting energy traders. She was very excited about it but I think she's nuts. Well, rather her than me anyway. Got very drunk and then stumbled off the get curry in Cinnamon at one in the morning with Brittany.

Saturday I woke up at Brit's then tubed it back to Clapham in time to have lunch with Brock and Clare who is now VERY pregnant and having a boy. I'm so excited about having a baby close by, might go some way to alleviating my baby fever. Spent all day drinking with them (well, Brock anyway) in the sunshine and catching up. Was a really nice day. Sunday I had an all day BBQ at Faye's flat. Lots of meat, lots of salads, lovely Pavlova Henry made. Ended up going for drinks in the Green with the gays and getting VERY drunk. Had to take Richard home because he was asleep in the bar at one point. Took about an hour to get into his building between non-functioning keys and Richard not being able to remember his flatmate's name. Good times. Put Richard to bed, smoked a couple of joints and danced around a bit.

It was a good weekend but not good for the diet. Gone back to working out like a maniac during the week and then plunging off the wagon at the weekend. Now is just a constant struggle against the urge to lie around and eat all day. Stuck in the house with TV and weed as my only companions ... who's thoughts wouldn't turn to raisin/cornflake/chocolate treats!! Trying my hardest though and I'm going to Pilates this afternoon, mostly to see the love of my life and get out of the house. Going to be SUPER careful.

Bad blogger

I know, I know. My computer broke and I had (another) bike accident. Nursing a crunchy knee and a thankfully operational lap top. More surgery for me! YAY!

5 days in a row is a habit, right?

Had a terribly boring day on Saturday, Miriam was away at Ascot so I wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet in the house. Did a mahoosive work out in the morning, including starting the hundred push up challenge (http://hundredpushups.com/). Had plans to see Debora later in the day so I didn't mind killing time milling around. Turns out Debora wasn't well and slept all day so by about 8:30 I was going CRAZY with boredom (and hunger). Finally snapped and went charging up to the High Street with Amy to get Mexican food. Tim and Jess came to meet us and we ended up going for drinks (me not drinking, like a SAINT). One of them had been at Ascot and drinking all day, see if you can guess which:

I wasn't drinking not only to be healthy but with the intention of going to Body Pump at 9:30 the next morning. Mind was willing but the body was not able. Had a nice lie in instead. In the afternoon went to the ever glorious Battersea Park for a picnic for Matt's birthday. Even though the park is minutes from my house (by bike) and I've been there on numerous occasions ever time I go I see something new. This time I found a pagoda and a herb garden. Wonder if the herbs are for sale? Would be amazing if they were. Have to look into it. Anyway, picnic was lovely and Matt's GORGEOUS girlfriend Genny made some great sandwhiches:

Only dark cloud was me - I was excessively grumpy and since I'm on my crazy diet brought and ate my own food. Don't think Genny is my biggest fan and now I'm sure she thinks I'm a rude bastard. I left when Matt's gorgeous cousin Ed showed up. Met him about 10 years ago and developed a huge crush (he's the worlds nicest boy) and shortly after he left to be the House of Lords representative to the European Parliament no less! In the intervening time his hair had turned grey, thereby transforming him into my ideal apart. Apart from the whole being straight thing, so I left in a huff.

Finished the day well though - Henry had invited me to lunch but I'd already agreed to go to the picnic but I went to go meet the lunch party at an old man's gay pub in Limehouse and saw some truly second rate drag. Had an amazing time, laughed like a drain at all the drunken antics and got a 15 mile cycle ride out of the whole affair too. Here's Henry and Amy having the TIME OF THEIR LIVES:

Monday the only excitement was going to Pilates instructed by the completely adorable Michael. Small, handsome, bright eyed, bushy tailed Australian guy. I'm in love. I literally had to restrain myself from running out in the middle of the class to buy him a puppy. Good news is that he's a gay, bad news is that there's no way someone that adorable is single. Anyway, he teaches on Sunday and Monday so I'll be going and praying I'm wrong.

Its Tuesday now and I've been dieting and exercising like a maniac for five days. Went to Yoga this afternoon and later I'll be cycling 5 miles to Waterloo to do a spinning class. Yoga felt amazing, first time I've done it in ages. I'm definitely going to have to get stuck back in. Am feeling very thin and healthy. Bit exhausted though so I think tomorrow is going to be a day of rest and carbohydrate consumption! YAY! Can't wait.

Good or bad?

Today I ate breakfast, went for a 'job' interview (it was a recruitment agent 'we can definitely get you work ... maybe early next year'. Useful) cycled 5 miles, worked out, did a spinning class, worked out, cycled 3 miles, drank water, cycled 6 miles. So definitely back on the diet train which I was very happy about. HOWEVER pinned up above my computer are my new years resolutions and one of them is 'Not to swing wildly between being a bum and dieting but instead find a happy medium'. Bollocks.

Monday morning you sure looked fine

Monday I was still reeling from Saturday and determined to get back to normality. However, it turned out it was James' final exam so I met him and Brittany for 'a' celebratory drink at 4:30pm. Ended up dancing on tables screaming along to Whitney Houston in a gay club at three o clock in the morning. The Monday night clubbing crowd is a scary crowd. Believe me. Slept over at Brittany's on Monday and Tuesday started off with a restorative breakfast of Nandos. Finally got home in the afternoon to find my whole life a disaster - clothes everywhere, food going off in the fridge, alfalfa mouldering in its sprouter, wheatgrass seeds festering on my floor, piles of laundry, smelly sheets (weird since I'd barely slept in them), e-mails unanswered, phone calls missed and blog completely ignored. So ever since I've been trying to get things back on track. Went for a lovely dinner party at Craig's last night (Danish meatballs and Melodiafestivalen, can't get better than that) and he's been going to boot camp classes four times a week! He's also not had a drink for 8 weeks. Reminded me that until relatively recently I'd been similar and had prioritised gym and health over booze and falling down. So I'm determined to get back on track. Having a lovely curry at the moment and then tomorrow its back on the Paleo diet, back to the gym and bye bye to booze. I'm too old to drink anyway. I always though I looked like crap the next day because of cigarettes, but I haven't had a cigarette for weeks (I know, right?) and I still looked about 36 on Monday. Look! This is what you can achieve if you concentrate on life rather than booze (Craig's dessert):

Bad blogger

I'm really not keeping up to date and I think I've identified the source of my problem - my bed. I always want to relay what I've been doing but the urge to flump around in cotton and goose down is just too strong. My new duvet and pillows are so nice I just can't think of anything I'd rather be doing than luxuriating in them. So I'm typing this from bed. Nice compromise. Being super hungover hasn't helped either. I didn't sleep in my bed for a week cause I was so busy getting drunk and falling asleep on people's sofas.

Last Saturday I went for lunch at Billy's and drank my body weight in alcohol and was treated to some delicious chicken cacciatore. We all went to the pub after and I had to go off to a quiz at Amy France's house that she was holding to raise money for a charity thing she's doing. If I hadn't left the pub I probably would've been unconscious within the hour, however, since I had a long ride on the tube I had time enough to sober up a bit. So I bought some beers, went to the quiz and then the night becomes a bit of a blur. I didn't find out quite how bad my behaviour had been until Monday because I'd left my mobile phone at home, so I spent Sunday in ignorant (albeit SUPER hungover) bliss going round the Art Car Boot Sale in Brick Lane and watching movies. I was so hungover that I'd be groaning for a couple of hours and then get these terrifying waves where I felt like I'd taken too much acid and was about to die. Fun it was not.

Anywho, as a quick example of Saturday night I offer up this lovely little story: the last time I met Stephen's flatmate Julie I was so drunk I called her a fucking bitch for not buying me a drink. Obviously I was joking but since it was the first time we'd met how was she to know? So this time I was determined to make a good impression and was pretty sure it was mission accomplished as one of my only memories of the party was giving Julie a big hug. HOWEVER, I found out on Monday that rather than saying 'hello' to her I grabbed her cardigan out of her hands, blew my nose on it, looked at the label and went 'French Connection? How vile' and threw it on the ground. Seems the overall impression of me at the party though was I'm a bit f a legend, was on amazing form and helped the whole night go with a bang ... even Julie's overall opinion of me was 'lovely'. Still, I'm pretty glad I remember nothing.

Food or no food?

Had a great night last night, Henry organised a Mexican themed gathering at his house to watch the entire series of the Rachel Zoe project. Any excuse for the gays to have a party. I made chilli and we also had chilli prawns, seafood salad, nachos (OBVIOUSLY), guac, salsa and tortillas. In typical fashion we ended up spending hundreds of pounds and catering for tens of people for a 'quiet night in'. Also had tequila slammers, margaritas, Corona and tequila sunrises (see above). Drank steadily so although I was definitely over the limit by the end of the evening I wasn't too smashed. Rachel Zoe project was really good - she obviously has all the depth and personality of a petri dish but she was surprisingly nice and obviously obsessed with fashion. I expected her to be a cynical manipulator but it seems like she at least really enjoys what she does. Although I'm not quite sure what she does - her husband is her business manager and her assistant Taylor does most of the work. It seems like she just drifts in at the last minute (giant Starbucks by her side) and points at things. Although obviously, like everyone in the fashion industry, she finds everything VERY STRESSFUL.

Much hilarity was to be found in her overly botoxed face ... she'd actually had so much botox that she SAID how she was feeling rather than expressing it on her face 'I am so happy about that right now' 'I'm really feeling very upset right now' all the while looking like a wax work of herself. Throughout the four hours or so we watched she ate one tiny scrap of food (even though other people on the show ate o more than one occasion) and the rest of the time had a giant beverage in her hand, mostly Starbucks. She looked amazing as well, although some people were a bit disturbed by the visible bones in the middle of her chest. So I'm feeling quite inspired to get back on the weightloss bandwagon now - always seems to happen when I see something so fashion centric. We all vowed at the time we were never going to eat again but since we were shovelling Mexican food into our mouths at the time and I started off this morning with a sausage/egg muffin I don't think I need to worry about eating disorders just yet.

All clear

Got the all clear from the doctor this morning ... my shoulder is not fractured! Hurrah! Means I can go back to the gym and wave excitedly at all and sundry.

Find of the century

Not a lot to report so far this week, until I get the all clear on my fractured shoulder I'm loathe to do anything too active.  I don't want to end up being the moron who went to the gym with a fractured shoulder.  Highlight of the week has to have been finding a new suit in a charity shop. Lovely place on Northcote Road, I'd seen an Empori Armani suit in there before and was sorely tempted to buy it.  However, it was £90 and I came up with a lot of reasons why it was too much. Went back and had another look and I thought they'd reduced it by £10.  Turns out it was a new Armani suit ... Giorgio Armani, Classico.  Classico was the line designed by Armani himself (since renamed) and uses the finest materials and construction methods.  Had a look at the label and it was 100% cashmere.  So I got a £3500 suit for £80.  Can't complain.

Started applying for jobs today, weather is on a down turn and I'm desperate to move out.  Sooner I can get a job the sooner I can have nice flatmates (at worst).  Got a call back about a position too!  Mind you I registered with 11 agencies and only got 1 call back.  Plus NONE of the websites came up with suitable positions.  Some of them would have thousands of jobs, I'd search for Paralegal work, any location, any sector and there would be 0 results.  Good times.

Lots Part II

On Thursday I started, drum roll please, work!  Only for three days, but involved the exchange of funds nevertheless.  I was helping out a guy with his stand at the Antiquarian Book Fair in the Olympia  Centre.  Pablo Butcher, the guy, was the husband of a friend of mum's from OUP and she'd helped him in years passed.  I showed up Thursday morning and helped him set up his stand thus:

He specialises in photographs of foreign countries and travel books about them - lots of Africa, Indian and Asia (Ukraine - Borneo and everything in between!).  Really interesting job, lots of old and very rare things to see.  Fair opened at 4 for the preview and I went home at 8:30.  The clientele were quite extraordinary - perfectly prepared to spend tens of thousands of pounds on an old book but NOT ONE PENNY on dandruff shampoo.  If I'd been a germaphobe I'd have to have showered every fifteen minutes.  Some proper English eccentrics too which was also nice to see.  One ex-military type barked at me 'Have you got anything on the area formerly known as Chinese Turkistan?' .... ummmmmmm?

I'm a huge fan of reading and a great lover of books so I'd always thought at the very back of my mind I'd get into rare book collecting.  Now I'm not so sure.  Believe me there were some EXTREMELY covetable things there.  I loved the original Art Deco graphic leather covers for sets of books and a four volume set of an encyclopedia of animals including Hydras and other mythical creatures which was £322,000!!!!!!  That was the problem - everything was insanely expensive.  The four volume animal encyclopedia I get - its beautiful, 500 years old, in amazing condition and an actual physical bit of history.  But I don't think that that should have a trickle down effect.  Pablo was pricing something up for £680 and I was thinking 'Oh I guess that's not too bad, still a bit much but ... oh wait, he's adding another 0'.  

It just seemed like books were worth what people were prepared to pay for them, everything is priced so high to try and skim off the one person crazy enough and rich enough to pay what they're asking.  A leather bound, boxed, first edition set of His Dark Materials signed by Philip Pullman - covetable? YES! £12,333?  No.  Why are they worth that?  Because other people want them? Hmmmm.  Made me very disillusioned with the whole thing.  I'd advise rebinding new books with exquisite covers, creating your own future valuables, rather than starting collecting in that market.

So the job was meant to go on for three days but I had a big bike accident cycling into work the next day.  Van pulled out suddenly from a side street, in front of me, I had to brake really hard (admittedly I was FLYING along a busy street with no helmet), it had been raining and as I swerved to avoid him my bike went down.  I smacked my head and landed heavily.  Guy didn't even notice and drove off - the reason the accident happened was because he hadn't looked in the first place.  Nice lady helped me up and looked after my bike while I went in Nero to examine my wounds.  I decided I was in OK shape and cycled off to work.  By the time I got there I had a bump the size of a grapefruit on my temple and was so confused I couldn't work out how to get into the exhibition.  I couldn't work out how to get from outside to inside, the transition between the two realms made no sense to me.  Obviously I was in great shape.  So I called Pablo to come from his other stand and went to hospital in a taxi.  

Ended up waiting FOREVER for a doctor (3/4 hours) while organising Henry and mum to cover work for me (saviours).  By the time I got in there my bump had subsided and my shoulder had started to be the main source of discomfort.  Had a few x-rays and the doctor thought I might have fractured my shoulder.  Put me in a sling and sent me home with an appointment at the fracture clinic on Thursday.  I don't think so, it really doesn't hurt any more and I've hardly worn the sling.  I can get full range of motion without anything hurting or grinding so I really don't think its fractured.  Still going on Thursday, just to be sure, of course.  It might not be fractured but it sure ain't pretty:

Lots

Haven't I been a bad blogger.  Dear me, lots to report.  The Sunday following the last time I blogged I had a picnic in glorious sunshine on Clapham Common, wore some extremely short shorts.  After everyone came back to my house and we had drinks and nibbles in the garden while getting ready to go out.  In the end Henry, three Amys, Craig, Doig and myself went to the 2Brewers on Clapham High Street EXTREMELY worse for wear.  I didn't realise that by the third drag queen one of the girls was lying on the pavement outside the club waiting to be carried home by everyone else.  Amy Murray and I stayed until 3 am.  I was so drunk that even though we left the club together we manged to get separated almost immediately in the street.  I ended up going to sleep on the common right on the busiest paths.  Eventually a guy woke me up 'Are you all right mate?' 'I'm FINE, I'm just waiting for my flatmate'.  Eventually stumbled home to bed.

As you can imagine the next couple of days were something of a write-off.  Had a wondrous evening Tuesday night though.  Went shopping all day with Debora and then went to Battersea Park to walk her very cute Miniature Jack Russell Pepe.  Such a nice Park - winding gravel pathways, a restored Victorian Sub Tropical outdoor garden, an island, tree lined roads.  Gorgeous.  We'd bought along some weed to get stoned in the Park because it was such a nice evening and this is where we ended up smoking:

Where Debora's bag is is where we were smoking and where the bright lights are there was a ... I shit you not ... reggae band playing.  So nice, bats flying overhead, duckings in the pond in front, reggae music.  Can't ask for much more!  Rest of the week

 was uneventful until Friday when I hosted book club at my house.  No one had read the book as it was changed last minute so really it was just a drinks and nibbles thing with general discussion of any books we'd read that month. Was lovely.

Last Sunday Brittany's brother Johnny arrived for two days on his way to an internship at an engineering firm in Mozambique.  Hadn't seen him since he was 14, now he's 22.  It's weird that I'm that old.  Many pints were had on the Sunday on Brick Lane and it was such a nice day I crapped out on a BBQ I'd agreed to go to.  Bad boy.  Alcohol soon eased the pain, especially after we played Kings on the roof of the Brick Lane flat - here's the view (with Johnny):

and we ended up getting Vindaloo at cinnamon.  We then went to the restaurant owners car to get high.  Got stoned and drove around the dodgy back streets of east London with the windows down, the new Eminem album BLASTING out of the car, smoking joints and all at 2am.  Was one of the strangest nights of my life, very surreal.  Ended up cycling back to Brittany's VERY drunk and staying the night.

Monday we did the best thing you can do in London and just wandered round for 6 hours enjoying the buildings and the sunshine.  Swung by Buckingham Palace, stopped off for lots of pints - us in Covent Garden:

had some Moroccan food in Soho.  Ended up at the John Snow pub drinking big bottles of organic cider with lots of ice with Harry and his friend Alexa who lives in Clapham, has just broken up with her boyfriend, is a nutritionist and a yoga teacher (I accidentally typed 'Yoda', teach you she will).  So I think I may have found my new best friend (he says, eating crisps). Finished the evening off at the Friendly Society, basement gay bar where they have barbie dolls stapled to the ceiling.  So I think Johnny got a taste of everything London had to offer

On Monday I had a picnic with Amy, Henry and Doing in Govesnor Square outside the American Embassy.  GLORIOUS sunny day.  Cycling around Mayfair cause I was there 25 minutes early.  Lovely picnic, great to see everybody.  Amy had to go back to work, Henry to the gym and Doig shopping (it was a day off work for him) and I pootled around on my bike then came home.  More to say to bring things up to date but I think I should probably post this before it becomes too big to fit on the Internet.

Other stuff this week

Completely forgot to mention that I went to the launch of the magazine CENTREFOLD this week, of which my ex-flatmate Gayden is the fashion editor.  So proud of her.  I'd have been prouder of her if the magazine had come back from the printers in time for the launch and I had something to be proud about, but it was not to be.  Didn't really matter though -they blew up stills from the magazine and had them on the walls of this gallery (its a biannual fashion magazine so you can imagine its very arty) and there was a massive turn out.  Lots of UBERtrendy, monied, media types. Lousy with hot guys too.  Events like that are SO much more suitable for potential boyfriends than stupid clubs.  Anyway, here's a picture of Gayden looking AMAZING in some Versace cheetah print at the opening:

This week

Had a rather lovely week all in all.  Most activities revolved around exercise and desperately trying not to eat bread.  Actually, to be fair its only last night and today that I was tempted to break my diet and the only reason I didn't was because I could actually SEE I was thinner in the mirror this morning.  Bearing in mind I spend at least an hour (in total) every day poking at my fat in the mirror, to have changed enough for it to be noticeable under that degree of scrutiny is truly an achievement.

Exercise reached its peak on Wednesday this week when I cycled 4 miles to my gym, lifted weights for an hour, did an hour Pilates class, cycled home.  Then cycled 2 miles to my friend's gym in the evening did a 90 minute cardio workout and then cycled home.  Then got a call saying my friend Fed was around - he's been in Uganda for two years - so I cycled 6 miles over to my friends flat to see him.  Have to say I didn't make the gym the following day but really there was no need (and I did walk around for four hours all afternoon and then cycled 6 miles home)!

Bought some seriously snappy shorts this afternoon.  They are the very embodiment of short shorts.  Not only do they look great but they'll save me having to tell people I'm gay.  They have turn ups and everything.  Maybe I'll post a picture the first time I wear them.

Diet and Exercise

Made the executive decision to go back on the Paleo diet today.  Although it is one of the more restrictive diets you can go on its really easy and very nutritious.  Basically you're supposed to eat like a caveman and definitely not eat any processed foods.  So no wheat, dairy, rice, legumes, potatoes or salt but lots of lean protein, fruit and vegetables.  Its easy cause you can have as much as you want of the foods you are allowed to eat - no calorie/carb counting and weighing things.  I really like it because you start to think of food as fuel which is good for someone who basically uses food as a mood stabiliser.  The major downside is that it really sucks all the fun out of food.  For example today I've eaten an omlette with half a can of tuna and then for dinner I had a turkey steak, kale and broccoli.  No salt, no sauce, no nothing.  To be fair you can use herbs and spices but I wasn't feeling very inspired today.  If I make something more interesting I'll blog about it and take a photo.

I've been on something of a health kick for a while (lots of gym, lots of cycling) but haven't made too much of an effort with the diet.  I've lost loads of weight cause I'm doing so much exercise but now I want to take things to the next level and get the twin benefits of a healthy diet and lots of exercise.  I'll be a relief map of veins on no time.  Plus I've been on so many diets of the years that psychologically I feel like if I'm not depriving myself of something I'm not really trying.  Have to see how it goes - first day no problem, ge ready for lots of posts about how amazing bread is though once I start to miss it.  In fact I think I'm going to start a new blog all about my Paleo experience!  YAY!

Family and frolicks

Mum's birthday on Tuesday ... went home for a party with the faaamily on Sunday.  Although the party was on Sunday mum asked me to come home early to help with the cooking.  Turns out there wasn't that much cooking to do but I think I was more than aware I was at home for the purposes of company rather than for coooking skills.  This did mean that I missed cocktails and hilarity with the gays on Saturday night watching the Eurovision Song Contest.  Not quite the same as watching it with someone going 'Can we watch something else, this is terrible'.  Some relationships its all take take, take.

Party on Sunday was ok, crowds are not my scene and my family is not my scene.  Highlight was watching my cousins child (Matti ... Danish name) ... which was a great excuse to go and have a lie down on mum's bed.  Look I took a picture:

Love that I won't put pictures of me on here but am more than happy to expose the rest of my family to the steely gaze of the general public (all 1/2 of you).  So aside from family frolicks I got stoned a lot and rather than having access to the mint tea and mung beans in my house I had access to the ice cream and cheese cake ay my mothers house.  Three days without exercise and dessert after evey meal.  I'm trying to control the urge to go on a lettuce only diet and take my sleeping bag to the gym.

BTW I'm watching Lipstick Jungle, its awful with a capital UGH

Schedule of Crazy

Shortly after posting yesterday I retired to bed to enjoy my new sheets.  I was somewhat aware of the fact that I'd only had four hours sleep and thought it might be good to have a nap.  HOWEVER, I made the huge mistake of watching 30 Rock for ages, so when I did go to sleep it was about 7 which meant I woke up at 5 this morning!  5!  I'd been to the gym and was considering having my second shower of the day BEFORE MIDDAY.  Craziness.  I've achieved so much already.  God knows when I'm going to get out of this crazy sleep schedule too.  Although I guess techincally going to bed early and getting up with daylight isn't CRAZY crazy.  In fact its quite the opposite.  Maybe this will be the start of a new me, maybe I'll have to change the name of my blog?!!?!  Tales of an old lady?

Most annoying part of the day was deciding at 7 to go to the gym and then getting a flat tyre on my bike.  Wanted to get it repaired but obviously the shop didn't open for another 2 hours!  2!  That was such a weird realisation.  Anyway, in order to get over the trauma I ordered a digital camera off t'internet.  YAY, soon my blog will be illustrated.  I fully intend to out-Japanese the Japanese with the amount of photos I will take.

To travel or not to travel?

Sarah from Hawaii was in London yesterday, stopping over on her marathon journey from Cairo (she's been living there) to Maui.  I can't imagine being involved in any travel itinerary where part of it was 'fly from London to LA' and only being about halfway through.  Poor girl.  Great to see her though, must have been at least two years.  She was all happy and glowing, but why wouldn't she be?  Boyfriend in Egypt and going back to Maui to work for her dad.  I can't imagine what its like to come from a place most people (in Europe at least) would consider a dream destination.  Went over to Brick Lane and had some red wine with Anthony and Bean and had a good chat and catch up.

She left bright and early this morning and I seized the opportunity to go into town to the gallery where I might work in the vain hope of tracking down the girl I met who works there.  Of course she was out.  Now I don't know if I should go back again or just leave it!  They change exhibitions next week so maybe I'll pop in for that.  Met Brittany and James for lunch, then swung by Debenhams on the way home and 'accidentally' spent £150 on a new duvet, sheets and pillows.  Never bought any before so I felt it was my time, plus they were 50% off so they were practically free.

Sarah was inviting all and sundry to Maui for August when her parents are away.  I've already got an invite to go to Martha's Vineyard for August too.  Plus I might be going to the Biennale in Venice, plus I might go and see an Opera by The Knife in Germany in October which happens to be around Oktoberfest.  Having recently returned from France and Spain and said repeatedly to anyone who would listen 'remind me never to leave London again' it seems strange that its only a fortnight later and I'm planning to visit Venice, Maui, Martha's Vineyard, Dresden, Berlin and Munich.  I guess Venice and Germany would just be a couple of weekends and the states is like going home so it doesn't really count.  That's what I'll tell myself anyway. 

Vietnamese

Went to Mien Tay for Vietnamese food last night (http://www.london-eating.co.uk/34588.htm) for Faye's birthday.  Can't say the food was particularly distinguished - all the Vietnamese places on the Kingsland Road are amazing and Mien Tay was certainly no exception.  Had salt and pepper squid, fried seaweed and a delicious pancake to start.  Main course was fried pork cutlets with egg and rice.  All very good and the bill was only £10 a head!  Amazing.  The people were lovely too - really friendly (one of them had the cutest baby) and when we sang happy birthday to Faye they quickly whipped up some banana fritters and stuck candles in them.  So nice.

Think I can safely say I'm recovered from the weekend - feeling fresh and ready to tackle life.  Need to get butt in gear this week.  Shopping and gallery tomorrow, need to find stuff to do today - maybe I'll go see the new Wolverine move.  Hmmmm, gym first.

Weekends of fun

Hmmm its seems I'm falling into the trap of doing nothing all week long and then hanging out with people at the weekend when they are free.  Very bad, I need to do stuff during the week by myself to ensure I'm enriching my life at least a little bit.  Maybe that can be my quest for the week - at least two posts about interesting things I've done this week.  Going to the gym does not count.

Wasted the weekend a bit as well cause I was stoned for most of it.  Not freshly stoned either but at the end of a week of smoking pot which needless to say made me hungry, lazy and reluctant to go out.  Friday I went round to Jack and Laura's house and hung out with Billy, Molly, Anthony and Bean.  For some reason we had an arm wrestling competition - I beat all the girls RAR, what a man - then played poker til 6 o clock in the morning.  The whole time we were smoking, drinking and doing lines.  Playing poker and doing lines?  Who have I turned into?  Neither of which I particularly enjoy but they do go well together and I had a great time.  Got a kiss on the lips from Anthony as he was leaving too ... he's definitely straight.  Ehem.

Saturday I came home, smoked, ate too much and then had to drag myself to my brother's 'I'm off to Australia' party.  Lots of people there and he was quite the social butterfly.  I was meant to go to Faye's birthday party after but have to confess I told Dom thats where I was going and just went home.  I blame marijuana pshychosis and Damages - watched the entire first season in one go ... its amazing.  Sunday I finished my weed and ate my way through the contents of the house.  Dear me.  Not good, so I lie here, Monday morning (just) trying to get my life into some kind of order and my head to function again.  Think I'll be giving up smoking for quite some time.

Need to get on the job hunt (finally) this week, get to the gym, go to Pilar Corrias and generally improve and enrich my life.  No more lying around, two hours of gym, lying around, bed.  Whole of London is out there waiting for me.

Weekend

Dom was over for Friday and Saturday nights ... first night out with friends in Camden and ready to depart for Brighton the following day for a house party of a girl he met in Dublin.  I didn't go out on Friday, just a quiet night in.  Was maybe going to go to a dance show in the Tate Modern turbine hall but it meant standing for two hours and I didn't fancy.  Murray was also meant to be in packing for her trip to Ghana but obviously didn't show up til about 10:30pm.  Walked Dom to ASDA on Saturday and then went off for a gym session.  Read for the afternoon and then Deb came over in the evening to get stoned and wait to let Dom back in the house.  Haven't smoked for ages and got really giggly and had an amazing time.

Dom came home and we watched TV for a bit then to bed.  Sunday he went off to Dad's house and I went to the gym while waiting for mum to arrive.  She finally arrived about 2 after a nightmare journey of rail replacement and closed tube lines.  Saw her for an hour then cycled over to Queensway to Doig's hosue for lunch.  Stopped off in Hyde Park for a quick cigarette and chat with Isi and Brittany.  Had lovely lunch of Roast chicken and then sat on his balcony having a glass of wine or too.  Then borrowed Doig's clothes and cycled into town to go to Ku Bar.  Had a good dance in the skimpiets outfit I've ever worn in public.  Had to leave urgently when Henry tried to set me up with an unattractive greas haired mook with drugs all over his face.  It was only midnight but my back was hurting and I was ready to go anyway.

Monday went to Leung's Legend with mum and Miriam and then to the Picasso show at the National Gallery.  It was a good show - always great to see Picassos - if not a bit shorter than I was expecting.  Saw his version of Las Meninas for the first time and absolutely loved it.  Maybe it appeals to my art histroian side but there was a lot of clever interpretation and response to the Valesquez.  Particularly in his representation of the artist - seems to me Picasso was depicting him as a superior man of intuition, insight and creativity - a ball of energy and a conduit for inspiration compared to the more conventioanlly rendered images of the Spanish Royal family.

Arty people

Met Gabriella for a drink last night, she was my flatmate for a year in Scotland.  Only catch up every now and then, but since she is not working and neitehr am I perhaps we'll spend some quality time together.  I was excited about writing this post mostly cause I get to illustrate the post with photos of Gabriella and there are so many great ones to choose from.  This is what she looked like the last time I saw her:

Amazing.  Obviously she doesn't wander round the streets like that, but she's often not far off.  Saw a video of her on youtube when she was at an art installation in the Centre Point building naked from the waist down.  I think I might be more familiar with her vagina than I am with my own groin.  Had a great catch up - she's drinking now where before she wasn't a big fan so our interests have joined together somewhat.  Hung out with her boyfriend who's an artist and other friends of hers from the art world.  It certainly made a change from socialising with lawyers -interesting opinionated people who's whole purpose in life isn't fitting in.  Made me think the art world was really where I belonged.  Luckily there may be a job in the offing from one of Gabriella's friends.  Won't post details til it actually happens, but might provide a great entry to the art world.  Oh go on then, one more picture:

Much like me on a Friday night.

Watchmen

Read the book and saw the movie.  Book is very good and the film is a faithful and superb version of the book.  Obviously like most movies it strips the heart from the text and makes obvious dispensations for the movie audience.  The heroes are more heroic and more conventioanlly super heroes.  Not necessarily a bad thing though, the action was great and rather than trying to capture on film what could never be the director instead created something enjoyable in its own right.  I have a crush on Dr.  Manhattan.  Thank God he doesn't actually exist or I'd be saddled with a life long obsession.  I feel the way about him I feel the way about Francois Sagat - we'd get on if we ever actually met.  Dear me.

I've been reconsidering ... the extra violence and sex in the movie.  Is it a necessary addition to make the story more like a movie, or was it added in by the studio, or is it a generational thing - extra sex and violence is needed to get the same effect?

Saturday is breakfast day

Miriam in a flap packing Charlie for college while his lordship had a lie in.  Had to leave the house to escape the crazy so cycled over to Borough Market to pick up some Monmouth.  Met Brit and Isi, ate a chicken burger and some of Brit's Raclette.  Can't get a better breakfast really!  Cycled home, had a bath, read more of the Watchmen.  Debbo came round about 10:30 and we drove to Warwick Avenue for the last five minutes of Sci-Fi's leaving drinks.  Should've got their earlier, Otter was there and very drunk.  Went with Matt, Genny and James to a couple of bars in Notting Hill and then home.  Pleasant day all round really.

Another stressful day

Curry was delicious last night, Mela on Shaftesbury Avenue.  Reasonably priced, big portions and really tasty.  Fully intend to go back.  Came home to find Amy baking brownies for a bake sale she was having at work.  She forgot to take them in this morning so I cycled them over first thing.  Then hit the gym and killed an hour before another lovely job centre appointment to get free money from the government.  Only had to wait 20 minutes which I think is a record for them.  Was STARVING by the time I was finished so went to Sainos and got an already roasted chicken.  Gone in two meals.  Watchmen arrived today so started reading that, its good so far.  Fell asleep for a couple of hours, restarted my Gaydar account.  Got a surprising level of interest ... none of which I intend to reciprocate so I'm wondering why I bothered.

Spoke to Clare who said she's pregnant.  Only two months though so I'm going to be keeping everything crossed for the next month.  Hopefully it'll be fine.  Also spoke to Debbo and was going to go out for a drink but she bailed.  Walked Pepe instead ... cumped for a dog.  Got dressed for our drink though and managed to fit into some jeans I hadn't worn since 2005, not skinny enough yet but DEFINITELY headed in the right direction.  Well, until Murray came back with bake sale left overs and I helped her polish off a great chocolate and coconut cake.  Nom nom.

Gravy baby

Had a great day of catching up with people.  Saw Brit, Lexi, James and Jack.  Went with Jack to pick up a sign he had made as an example for his business.  I'll hopefully post a picture when there's some publicity shots.  Went for pie and mash, made a doctors appointment, restarted the endless signing on process.  Super fun.  Off to the gym shortly and then curry with the gays later.  Second curry in two days.  God its good to be back

Rage! Rage! Against the dying of the light

I don't think anyone reads this blog which essentially means its me talking to myself.  Ravings of a madman indeed.

Madrid!!!!

Entirely failed on the blogging front recently.  Mostly cause I was either half cut on cheap Spanish Rosado (3 Euros a litre, tastes like the £9 a bottle crap they have over here) or internet deprived.  Rest of my time in La Bisbal was lovely, spent saturday having drinks with some Spanish fancies.  Apparently La Bisbal is quite the place to have a country house if you are a Barcelona fancy.  There was a woman at the party who lived in one of those Gaudi houses in Barcelona, why did she live their?  Cause she commissioned it.  Like I said, fancy (side note: she was amazing and looked like a photo from an Art History book of one of those eccentric millionaires who spent the entire 1930s hanging with Picasso and commissioning great works of art).  Also present at the party was a spanish/american lesbian who presents the weather on CNN, she was also amazing.  But for different reasons.

Whole weekend came to a crashing end with the overnight train from Girona to Madrid.  The fast train takes 3 hours, the slow train 11.  11!!!!!  AAAAHHHHHHHHH.  I can vouch for it as well because I was awake for every one of them ... lying on a metal plank in a room the size of a lift with 5 middle aged Spanish men snoring, farting and pespiring their way through the night.  I lay hugging my rucksack through fear of theft on a 'bed' a foot too short for me drifting in and out of 'sleep'.  Wish I'd been a bit more British about it and just marched up and down the corridor of the train in my nightie and dressing gown swilling gin and demanding a shower.  WWSLD (What Would Shaunagh Latymer DO?  My new inspiration for life).

Worth it though ... Madrid is amazing, has everything London has without the tedious 45 minute journeys between it all.  Drury summed it up the best: 'I'm not sure I like it here: I look at my sister's life in Denver and she goes hiking and biking, throws dinner parties and has a nice time with her friends and thats what I want.  All everybody does here is smoke, drink and party'.  I think I've found home.  One word of warning ... if you go see the Thyssen-Bornemisza collection (http://www.museothyssen.org/thyssen_ing/home.html) then once they've scanned your ticket go immediately left to the end of the exhibition and see the good art.  Save yourself an hour of tedium and miss out the top two floors.  You'll miss a couple of great paintings but you'll also miss a billion terrible ones.  That woman wouldn't know a good painting if you beat her with one.  Although to be fair I guess it would be quite hard to appreciate a painting if someone was beating you about the head with it.  Some of the art was so ugly I swung wildly between laughter and terror.  The gallery itself is also HIDEOUS.  HIDEOUS.  I was trying to illustrate this with one of the ugly pictures from the collection but for SOME reason they're not on the website so I went for one of the more impressive ones.  If you're a billionaire and a Sergent is one of the most impressive paintings in your collection then you done wrong.  Back in London now, thank God.  Yes the world is an exciting and diverse place of wonder and excitement but its wasted on me.  Give me London any day.  Its good to be back.

Lunch booze and fun times

Went crazy and had the 18 Euro menu at the local restaurant yesterday. Worth every penny. Spent the afternoon drinking and preparing for the arrival of Harry's mother. Probably wasn't enough time as she gives the phrase 'force of nature' a whole new meaning. Cut class diction, teeth together as she speaks and the word FUCK at least once in every sentence. Amazing. A role model come to life. Had dinner with her and Crispin and drank too much, ate too much and then compounded it all by staying up late into the night drinking quince liqour.

Today Crispin gave us a lift to the local market while Harry was at the dentist in Girona. Too hungover to function really but was an easy start to the day. Lunch was the ubiquitos rotisserie chicken that is sold all over the continent and was MORE than welcome. The afternoon was a three hour nap, followed by half an hour reading, followed by another long nap. Resurrected just in time for a delicious dinner cooked by Maria. Galtes ... or prok cheeks was the main, white chocolate mousse for dessert. All in all another challenging day.

Gosh, how civilised

Spent a lovely day yesterday - woke up late, wandered into town for lunch at a local restaurant. Food was Catalan (boiled eggs with creamy spinach sauce for starter) and great quality. Plus we had three courses, wine, water and coffee all for the bargain price of 11 euros a head. Can't say fairer than that. The afternoon was spent reading by the pool or on a couch (Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, slightly cheesy, quite depressing but certainly enjoyed it) until the Spanish had finished their siesta. We wandered back into town to pick up food and wine. Had some jamon, bruschetta and other delicious tapas bits at a local bar. Came back to the house, more relaxation and then Harry cooked clams with white beans, followed by black squid ink risotto to celebrate the arrival of Gayden and Eagle about 11. Food, wine, pleasant conversaion and then bed by 2. Its a hard life.

Maybe Dali's not so crazy

Last day in France and I celebrated with an Almond croissant in the car (first and last pastry in France!) as we headed to Spain! Driving to a foreign country ... very exciting. After a few hours blasting down immaculate French motorways we were waved through and barrier by a smiling guard and into Spain, well, Catalonia really. all the signs were in Catalan and nobody seems to speak Spanish, plus I think I'm on the side of Catalan separatists. Just over the Spanish border we headed East to Cadaques, home of Salvador Dali. Such a pretty coastal town - turqoise waters lapping on a sandy beach with white washed houses clinging to the precarious hill sides all round. Simply stunning.

Even more special though was what we discovered as we headed East where Dali's house actually is. All the way East actually ... to the most eastern point in Spain Cap de Creus. Considering we drove through a landscape merely consisting of rock, plants and grass I can say I've never been anywhere more alien. Strange and exotic rock formations abound. They they repeatedly show in Dali's work and I can see why he was so inspired. Pictures I can google don't do it justice so I'm afraid you're just going to have to go and see it for yourself. I highly recommend it.

Later Andrew drove me to Harry's house near La Bisbal. I say house ... its more a paradise on earth. House, tower (designed by a Gaudi pupil and pictured above), olive grove, dovecot, swimming pool and all on top of a hill so the views are breathtaking. Things you want in a holiday ... a note on the kitchen table saying 'roast suckling pig in the fridge, Maria coming to cook dinner on Friday' and a phone conversation along the line of 'make yourself at home and I'd highly recommend going up the tower to watch the sunset'. Amazing. And I did ... and I cried. Simply stunning. Harry arrived from raving in Morocco, much booze was drunk, substances were freebased and I went to bed happy at about 2. Check out the house at www.torreronsat.com and feel free to die of jealousy. I might never leave

Monday Millau

Early start on Monday so we could head over to Millau and see the worlds tallest bridge. Drove through IMPENETRABLE fog for nigh on an hour. was insane, fog I'm used to ... it going on for miles and miles and miles and so thick you couldn't see more than 10ft out of the car was certainly a new experience. First stopped off in the gorgeous town of Millau and had a wander round. There's an old water mill on a bridge there that juts out over the side of the bridge and rests on supports. I WANT IT! Would live happily there for ever and ever. Loved the town. The bridge was incredible too and was certainly enhanced by the fog:



A very handsome bridge no doubt. So large that from a distance the scale is all wrong an you don't think its that big. As you get closer you realise its a lot further away than you thought and is actually enormous. Quick sandwich at the bridge then we headed of to Roquefort so see the cheese caves. Probably the most French experience of my life ... standing in a cheese cave listening to a talk about cheese in French while a group of French people made jokes about cheese around me. Unfortunately the cheese production is pretty uniform so there wasn't anything special there to buy, on the other hand it means the stuff you can get in Sainsburys is just as good as the stuff you can get in Roquefort itself.

Headed back to Montpellier, drinks in the square as the sun went down, dinner, more drinks. Lovely.

Avignon

Ended up drunker than a skunk last night in a bar just round the corner which happened to be stocked to the brim with hot guys. About 6 in a room holding 25 people, I like that ratio. Was up til 3am drinking red wine by myself, listening ipod and sending texts to people in London. Probably end up costing me a billion pounds or so.

Today we drove to the medieval town of Avignon to see the Pope's palace. There are many reasons why there is one in Avignon as opposed to the Vatican but alas the audio guide was as tedious as dental surgery so I can't relay any pertinent information. The whole town itself is just insanely beautiful and lousy with history. Its a fortified town and pretty much all of the battlements are still standing. We had lunch in a pretty square (obviously) had ricard before the meal (obviously) and red wine from a carafe (obviously). For my main I had the special which was bull stew ... the bull having been recently dispatched in a local bull fight. Who knew there were bull fights in France? I'm glad there are - bull is delicious.

Tired now, early start tomorrow. Only had one bottle of wine between 4 people at dinner. Think I might be turning into a French person.

English weather, French behaviour

Had a lovely dinner last night in what was basically a French man's living room. The menu was described to us by the owner/waiter/chef and was limited in content but not in quality. The experience was significantly enhanced by Bérangère grabbing hold of a ceramic chicken and exclaiming 'Ah! C'est jolie ça!' it was literally a GCSE French class come to life. We didn't make the club since we arrived to catch the bus after 1 which is when the last bus departed. Instead spent a pleasent evening enjoying the delights of the bars of Montpellier.

Today it rained. ALL day. It's only just stopped and it's nearly 9. We drove down to Sete which is a lovely coastal town famous for its seafood. Had a too brief to a Carrefour and headed into town. Had a good look around but no seafood since the market was shut and we were between meals. As I type this Andrew is making pastry for an Aspargus and Cheese tart, four bottles of vin rouge to get through and company to be had in a bar later. Lovely.

I HATE FRANCE

I don't really but it's impossible to be here without quoting the inimitable words of Edwina Monsoon. I do, however, hate French keyboards. I'm typing this on a keyboard where you have to use the shift key to get a full stop, there's a Q where the A should be and a ù instead of an apostrophe. So apologies in advance for any nonsensical aspects. Flight passed without a hitch, I almost got to sit next to the hottest man in France but the woman in my aisle moved up rather than let him squeeze by. Very sad. Bumped into Isi in the airport briefly though, which was great. Was picked up by Andrew in his comedy French persons car, this isn't it but his is VERY similar, just blue:

Stayed up til 3 drinking wine and Pastis, listening to depressing music and setting the world to rights. Trés Français. At least its easy to do the correct accents with a French keyboard. Just had a long walk round the hilly medieaval streets of Montpellier, lunch in a small square with a carafe of wine and stopped in a glorious cheese shop on the way home. Tonight its Moroccon food in the Arab quater then clubbing. Clubbing. In France. Clubbing. Behold the Techno.

The one blot on Montpellier is the Antigone built in the 70s by blind, almost certainly insane people. A little slice of Saudi Arabia in the south of France. Judge for yourself:


It's on the postcards which implies they're proud of it. Hmmmmmmm I'm clearly missing something:

Hello? *peeps nervously round door*

Having recently endured the horror of being made redundant and staring infinite time in the face, I thought it was about time to reignite the blog.  I stopped because my boss pulled me into a meeting and said 'We can tell from the time of your blog posts that you've been writing it at work'!!!  I was all 'and you can tell from the content that my life goals revolve around illegal drugs and falling down when drunk' so my writing career came to a swift end.  Now I'm free, FREE!

The credit crunch, redundancy, unemployment.  Words of horror and terror.  Let me speak to you of my experiences of the world economic crisis: I went from being miserable, incarcerated in a prison camp 9 hours a day five days a week, to being set adrift into a world of near constant sunshine, limitless free time and £11,000 to enjoy it all.  LET MY TALE BE A WARNING TO YOU ALL.  Governments beware ... I went from enslaved, productive member of society, safely contained within the rat race to a free thinking, whirling, happy free spirit ... liable to dash off on holiday, kick up my heels for joy or do something entirely unexpected.  Is that what you want from your populations?!  IS IT?  Who's going to do all the photocopying if everyone's too busy enjoying themselves?  I suggest fixing the world economy immediately or risk total societal breakdown and an unstoppable outbreak of picnics.

So I guess the theme of my blog from now on is going to be my search for a new job/career and, by extension, self.  More of that later though, for now the theme of my blog is going on holiday cause that's what I'm doing tomorrow - Montpellier, Barcelona, Madrid.  I'm hoping I might never return from this trip but instead it'll be the jumping off point for a lifetime of adventures and opportunities.  However, since most of my holiday plans revolve around wine (France, no explanation needed plus Spain = Sangria) I'll probably just be back in three weeks as planned - unemployed, hungover and significantly poorer.