Had book club meeting last night. We all read Me Talk Pretty One Day, well most of us did anyway. I've read all David Sedaris' books a while ago now so I wasn't exactly clear about what was in it and what was not. I always think of him as hilarious because I guess I view all of his stuff as a whole and you only remember the good bits. People were surprisingly unimpressed. MTPOD was the first of his books I read and I remember thinking it was amazing. I'm pretty sure this was most people's first experience of him as well and they weren't as happy as I thought they be. Fools! Ah well, its not like he's my boyfriend or anything (YET! Watch yourself Hugh).
Other than some deeply intellectual discussion about the book there was much drinking, shouting and talk of the gays (isn't there always). I also ate beef for the second time this week. I swear meat is addictive. Our book club is possibly one of the weirdest meetings on earth, it is both facist and full of drunken shouting, rule-bound but something of a royal rumble. For instance the meetings are minuted, but this is what they minute (last months meeting):
MINUTES
‘Tropic of Capricorn’, Henry Miller.
Present:
Henry
Aimee
Amy France
Greg
Doig
News
Members are very impressed by Aimee's lovely flat. It’s too fancy for the likes of Doig. Parnell has made dough and members make their own pizzas, it’s very exciting.
France went to Spain, where a fat bitch ate kebabs non stop. France missed the gays. France is knawing on a chicken carcass at this point. She finished her exams (snaps) and Mother France is coming to stay, but currently France has an unwelcome guest that cries. France has another book club (downward snaps). Her skirt isn’t Chanel.
Henry got his house! Top snaps. It’s lovely and it’s in Mile End on the canal. Doig, France and Greg will swim to and fro. He went on a booze cruise with Buffalowilliam and had a lovely time. They had a nice breakfast and a lovely lunch of beef and poisson soup, then cake. Henry is getting circumcised soon, by a hot surgeon.
Greg got promoted and is wildly buying tubs of M&S mini-bites with his pay rise. Snaps. He had mediocre sex with a hairy man. He is considering going for a drink with a Persian surgeon. Discussion ensues about Gaydar. ‘It’s another world, Parners’: France. The epic saga of the kitchen continues.
Parnell had her period.
Doig lost his job and was thrown out of the gym. He survived the earthquake.
Discussion ensues about food moralism. France gets very emotional. Debate gets heated. France says Doig is wrong to buy Lanvin jackets and cheap chicken.
France gets more emotional about cheap chicken. Henry needs 39 eggs per day so they must be cheap. Doig goes to the toilet because everyone is shouting now. All agree we must create less waste. France eats bananas so should be quiet, silly bitch. Jamie Oliver has a lot answer for.
Henry says he hates pizza as he shovels pizza in his mouth. Doig farts and is frowned upon.
Members choose ‘Me Talk Pretty’ by David Sedaris for next month.
Discussion
Other than some deeply intellectual discussion about the book there was much drinking, shouting and talk of the gays (isn't there always). I also ate beef for the second time this week. I swear meat is addictive. Our book club is possibly one of the weirdest meetings on earth, it is both facist and full of drunken shouting, rule-bound but something of a royal rumble. For instance the meetings are minuted, but this is what they minute (last months meeting):
MINUTES
‘Tropic of Capricorn’, Henry Miller.
Present:
Henry
Aimee
Amy France
Greg
Doig
News
Members are very impressed by Aimee's lovely flat. It’s too fancy for the likes of Doig. Parnell has made dough and members make their own pizzas, it’s very exciting.
France went to Spain, where a fat bitch ate kebabs non stop. France missed the gays. France is knawing on a chicken carcass at this point. She finished her exams (snaps) and Mother France is coming to stay, but currently France has an unwelcome guest that cries. France has another book club (downward snaps). Her skirt isn’t Chanel.
Henry got his house! Top snaps. It’s lovely and it’s in Mile End on the canal. Doig, France and Greg will swim to and fro. He went on a booze cruise with Buffalowilliam and had a lovely time. They had a nice breakfast and a lovely lunch of beef and poisson soup, then cake. Henry is getting circumcised soon, by a hot surgeon.
Greg got promoted and is wildly buying tubs of M&S mini-bites with his pay rise. Snaps. He had mediocre sex with a hairy man. He is considering going for a drink with a Persian surgeon. Discussion ensues about Gaydar. ‘It’s another world, Parners’: France. The epic saga of the kitchen continues.
Parnell had her period.
Doig lost his job and was thrown out of the gym. He survived the earthquake.
Discussion ensues about food moralism. France gets very emotional. Debate gets heated. France says Doig is wrong to buy Lanvin jackets and cheap chicken.
France gets more emotional about cheap chicken. Henry needs 39 eggs per day so they must be cheap. Doig goes to the toilet because everyone is shouting now. All agree we must create less waste. France eats bananas so should be quiet, silly bitch. Jamie Oliver has a lot answer for.
Henry says he hates pizza as he shovels pizza in his mouth. Doig farts and is frowned upon.
Members choose ‘Me Talk Pretty’ by David Sedaris for next month.
Discussion
No-one liked the book. Parnell puts Spice Girls on to make having to talk about it more enjoyable. The Spice Girls make everything better.
Reading Tropic of Capricorn was the most difficult thing Greg has ever had to do (kitchen saga aside).
Henry compares it to Snow. He liked the first 40 pages but then hated it.
Members agree that it’s Henry Miller’s mentally ill ramblings and it makes it very hard to read.
He’s very mysoginistic. Is it groundbreaking porn? Does it say anything? No one knows.
No one liked the lists of things. It was an incomprehensible literary swamp. Pre war sense of urgency.
'Quim’ is the word for a lady’s front bottom in the book.
2 Become 1 moves everyone.
Nothing happens in the book, Greg says. Similar to Mrs Dalloway.
The book isn’t a biography but reads like one.
France compares it to T4 masterpiece ‘The Hills’.
Greg is getting very upset at this point about lists. He really doesn’t like lists.
France says the book was crude and it made her feel sad.
Talk turns to Henry’s impending Flirtini Party. Everyone very excited. The Limoncello comes out and talk of the book is abandoned.
Parnell shows her lovely tray that she picked up in Norfolk for £8.99. Doig has never heard of such extravagance.
Henry has sculptural arms. Everyone is encouraged to touch them.
Talk turns to child pornography. Discussion ensues.
In a move that makes Doig’s eyes water, talk turns to periods. Something dislodged inside Parnell a while back. The phrase ‘heavy level of gush’ is used by France. It’s not the talk of a lady, quite frankly. Parnell has an unlucky cervix. A whole other world has been opened up to Doig, quite literally. Thinks he will become a gynaecologist.
Condoms – yes or no? Henry is angling for a good barebacking session after the snip. France is too.
Henry’s declaration that ‘Incest is best’ is met with nods of approval.
Parnell doesn’t want to have one night stands, apart from with Greg. They are like a jigsaw puzzle with a wrong hole, or something to that effect.
Parnell takes us on an artistic tangent.
Limoncello is very refreshing and going down a treat.
France is a cold, dead shell of a woman.
SO basically, its all very highbrow and probably a little over the heads of the general populous at large. Its terrifying to think of the number of degrees, Masters, phD's and the staggering amount of money it cost to create a discussion about periods during a book club
2 Become 1 moves everyone.
Nothing happens in the book, Greg says. Similar to Mrs Dalloway.
The book isn’t a biography but reads like one.
France compares it to T4 masterpiece ‘The Hills’.
Greg is getting very upset at this point about lists. He really doesn’t like lists.
France says the book was crude and it made her feel sad.
Talk turns to Henry’s impending Flirtini Party. Everyone very excited. The Limoncello comes out and talk of the book is abandoned.
Parnell shows her lovely tray that she picked up in Norfolk for £8.99. Doig has never heard of such extravagance.
Henry has sculptural arms. Everyone is encouraged to touch them.
Talk turns to child pornography. Discussion ensues.
In a move that makes Doig’s eyes water, talk turns to periods. Something dislodged inside Parnell a while back. The phrase ‘heavy level of gush’ is used by France. It’s not the talk of a lady, quite frankly. Parnell has an unlucky cervix. A whole other world has been opened up to Doig, quite literally. Thinks he will become a gynaecologist.
Condoms – yes or no? Henry is angling for a good barebacking session after the snip. France is too.
Henry’s declaration that ‘Incest is best’ is met with nods of approval.
Parnell doesn’t want to have one night stands, apart from with Greg. They are like a jigsaw puzzle with a wrong hole, or something to that effect.
Parnell takes us on an artistic tangent.
Limoncello is very refreshing and going down a treat.
France is a cold, dead shell of a woman.
SO basically, its all very highbrow and probably a little over the heads of the general populous at large. Its terrifying to think of the number of degrees, Masters, phD's and the staggering amount of money it cost to create a discussion about periods during a book club
1 comment:
You were reading Henry Miller? No wonder the discussion turned odd. That man turned me off sex for quite some time (say, 20 minutes or so) because none of his people ever bathe, and he invariably seems to screw in seven week old sheets and wipe himself off with underpants that haven't been washed in a year. Um, yuck. But I LOVE David Sedaris. He at least bathes on a fairly regular basis - or so one would assume.
Love, Wendy
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