Alarm went off at 5:30 I woke up feeling distinctly worse for wear. Didn't stop feeling incredibly unwell until about an hour into my flight and that was about 5 hours away. Got a car to the airport that had no air conditioner, but certainly had a functioning stereo out of which blasted gospel music all the way to the airport. Got to the airport and queued in a room no bigger than a primary school gym for 1hr 45mins to get through check-in and security. All the while being screamed at by officious Delta emplyoees "stand back against the waaall please" "Ma'am if you undo your bag there we're going to have to escort you outside". UGH! That lovely American way of saying "SIR!" with so much emphasis that they're basically saying 'Oi! TWAT!' with a mask of civility. Got to the airport incredibly early, which turned out to be a good thing cause if I'd shown up when Delta suggested I'd have missed my flight. Small suggestion for you Delta - have more than one metal detector for your entire international terminal. I'm just saying.
Eventually made it on to the plane which was pretty full and very delayed in taking off. Plane food was pretty good - chicken and grits - and the movies were as rampantly bad as ever. First was 21, gambling movie with Kevin Spacey acting like a pantomime dame and then Fool's Gold. I was excited that FG was the movie as I wanted to see it although I knew it would be shit and the plane is the perfect place for that sort of movie experience. Why did I want to see it? Cause of Matthew of course, might be his best movie so far. He was clothed for literally 20% of the movie. Amazing. Plus he's a homo apparently .... Foxley knows some guy who slept with him. There's a life goal. Wasn't too bad a flight really, think I was too tired to worry about dying.
As the plane was delayed taking off we missed our landing slot and circled Heathrow about 500 times. Eventually we landed, I got my bag and ten spent 2.5hours trying to get back to Clapham. It was the perfect 'fuck you' return to London. It was cold, everything was delayed, the tube was unbelieveably inefficient and I finally got to bed at 1am. 15 hours of travelling. Nice.
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