Ravings of a madman

Highs and lows, lows and highs

2010-08-16T22:18:00.000+01:00

Dinner at Doig's was lovely. Delicious Mexican food, a cheers for Mary Doige and a selection of her favourite songs on in the background. Here we are having a lovely time and eating Greg's Cointreau and cardamom crème brulees:

I realise that the major problem with taking photos for my blog is that I'm never actually in any of them. Here my presence is represented by my four cans of red stripe near the candles! After we went to the 2Brewers for a quick boogie on what turned out to be an exceptionally busy night for the place. Sunday was pretty quiet due to substantial hangovers but I got the opportunity to go to Henry's office which is right on the Thames and his desk is on the 19th floor:

Quite the view isn't it! After admiring the view we went to the new, and very good, Golden Day which we all really enjoyed (get the cumin beef) but thought was a bit pricey. After we also went to a new gelato place in Soho called Gelupo. Doig had been invited there with three friends to eat for free and boy did we ever! Lucky it was free really because £6 seems a bit steep for an ice cream to me. Admittedly a very good one mind. spent the rest of the afternoon wandering through the sunshine, through Trafalgar Square, down the Mall, through St James' Park. Really lovely. Had the treatiest of all treats in the evening - Foxley was in town and I met him and his boyfriend Ethan for dinner. Thought he was over on business but turns out they're on holiday - as we all know coming to London is the only sensible use of holiday time (although admittedly they were going to Paris too). We topped and tailed the evening with drinks in the Blue Bar which was weird since not 3 hours previously I'd said to Faye 'considering I've never been at a place in my life where I would consider myself rich I've spent an inordinate amount of time in the Blue Bar'. Hard not to really:

We had dinner at Cecconis with their friend Lauren who freelances for the New Yorker. I tried not to explode with jealousy throughout dinner. Tanquery Martinis before the meal, two bottles of champagne after - I was THOROUGHLY treated by the guys and had the loveliest evening.

I'd arranged to stay at Deborah's house that night and began making my (very drunken) way there in the small hours. Managed to get as far as Clapham Junction then realised there was no night bus to Earlsfield! Which meant I walked for about 50 minutes to get to Deborah's flat. Guess I shouldn't have bothered in the end since she wouldn't let me in ... she got out of bed and answered the door bell but only to tell me to 'fuck off' and so I spent ANOTHER night sleeping under a bush somewhere. SERIOUSLY disappointing. I will not be speaking to her again. I will also try to spend less of my life like a homeless person. A homeless person wearing Valentino anyway.

Some days are sent to test you

2010-08-14T16:08:00.001+01:00

Quite an eventful day yesterday. Most of which I would not care to endure again. It's the lovely Clare's birthday barbecue today and I thought since I was going into town I may as well make full use of the weekend and go in on Friday and catch up with other people. On Wednesday I spoke to Brit and arranged to meet her in East London after she was done with work. First I popped down to Clapham to see Deb for a coffee and to stock up on weed. Brit sent me a text saying 'Really hungover, not going to do anything fun tonight' while I was having coffee and I thought I might be better off staying at Deb's since I was already there. But Deb had work to do and I was keen to see Brit so I jumped on the tube. If ONLY I had stayed ... things went downhill very quickly.

Got off the tube at Liverpool Street Station and was immediately leaped on by the police's drug sniffer dog. Goodbye weed, goodbye £50 (a weeks income for me) and hello official caution. Luckily possession is barely an offence and the police were really nice but I was definitely feeling a bit shell shocked and extremely annoyed about throwing £50 away. Somehow in the process I lost the stylus to my phone ... yes my phone has a stylus, no its not from 1996 ... which I'd managed to hold onto for over a year and I'm SO annoyed to have lost it. A couple of phone calls to Brit resulted in no reply and I ended up drowning my sorrows, solo, in a bar for an hour and a half. Eventually I realised she wasn't going to show up so phoned around looking for SOMEONE I could share my misery with. Stephen was out and up for a drink or two so I hot-footed it to central London. One drink lead to another, which lead to being in Heaven at 3am with only the barest grasp of what my name was.

Somehow we got separated and Stephen ended up getting back to his flat long before I did. I called him when I got out of Heaven and he was already home, told me to ring his phone when I got to his place. Not only did I ring his phone, I also rang his doorbell for about 15 minutes and banged so hard on his window with my stylus-less phone that I thought I was either going to break it or wake the entire street. All to no avail. He was not to be roused. Since I couldn't get anywhere useful on a night bus within three hours I laid my weary head down under a bush behind Doig's bins and tried to get to sleep. Couple more bouts of banging on the window later it was 5:30 and I went to get the first tube home.

I wish I could've been one of the people who walked into McDonalds in Baker Street, in their suits at 6am to find me grumpily eating a Sausage Egg McMuffin as pine needles fell out of my hair and into my food.

Managed to get home and crashed into bed. So I was arrested, abandoned and forgotten about all in one night and now I've missed Clare's barbecue ... which is totally unfair on her. Worst thing is I'm probably going to have to go back into town - Stephen is hosting a dinner this evening to raise money for leukaemia research as it recently killed his mother (leukaemia that is, not the research). Not really the sort of thing I should let bitter resentment stand in the way of attending!

Car bootin'

2010-08-02T17:32:00.002+01:00

Helped out Deborah selling her stuff at a Car Boot sale on Sunday. Well, I say helped ... I helped set up and pack up but the whole sale was so quiet that one person was enough to keep an eye on all her stuff and deal with any customers. Had a lovely day though - sat in the back of her car, did a crossword, read the Economist and got stoned to all bejesus. There was some sort of magical combination of the warmth, sunshine, sun dappled car park, huge amounts of weed and the overall slow pace of commerce that made the whole day really pleasant. The highlight for me was the opportunity to play a real life game of Where's Wally (Waldo to yankees):

Where's Wally?

There he is!

Good that we had such a nice day because the whole thing was basically an exercise in insanity. Deb was supposed to be having a big clear out of her wardrobe and selling what she could at the car boot. As I explained to her what we had undertaken had nothing to do with the activity of 'clearing out your wardrobe'. In order to qualify as a clear-out I said that she'd have to make more of a dent in her wardrobe than selling 20-30 items of clothing (out of 3 wardrobes and 5 rails or clothes) and 10 pairs of shoes (out of a staggering 225 pairs. That's not a typo ... I meant to write 'two hundred and twenty-five'). What she had instead undertaken was causing a lot of inconveniences for herself and earning less than minimum wage at a badly paid job. All of the difficulties of paying for the pitch, organising when I was available, packing up her stuff, getting a rail to hang clothes on, driving to the sale, setting up, packing up, driving home and unpacking the car ... and all to make £20. So she didn't make any money, didn't have a successful sale and nor did she clear out her wardrobe. So basically it was a day worthy of a Kafka novel and I congratulate her for that!

The shot that broke the camel's back

2010-08-02T17:10:00.002+01:00

Went into town on Friday for dinner at Henry's to celebrate the presence in London of his tutor from UPenn, the very Miss Jennifer Siegal - historian, friend of the gays and all round dinner party legend. Also had the pleasure of finally getting to know Amy's new(ish) man, Neil, he's taking the photo below so will be spared blushes. Although Amy wasn't. Neil got to hear any sordid detail of her history we could dredge up. She was less than impressed - our tongues were loosened by booze and her anger was inflamed by it. More of which later. Had a lovely time, ate delicious food and drank enough alcohol to wipe out a small Russian village (and them's folks is hardy). Think our alcohol consumption has long passed 'out of control'. There was a review in one of the TV guides about the Australian version of Come Dine with Me, which they showed here last week. The review was all 'of course one of the major differences between the UK and Australia is the amount of alcohol some hostesses feel the need to provide' and went on to list a HUGE amount of alcohol (one of the items was about 60 shots of vodka ... for four people) that one of the women had provided at her night. Anywho, when I first read it I seriously thought 'hmmmm I'd probably get a bit more wine than that'. Here we all are enjoying the light buzz of alcohol:

And here's Richard providing a useful representation of the state we [not including Jenny obv!] were all in by the end of the night:

Charming no? I'm seriously thinking about giving up drinking. Normally once suitably sloshed all the gays slope off to a local club and have a dance, although on this occasion we thought it better if Richard didn't leave the house. Obviously I normally end up making a fool of myself and consequently feel shame-faced and guilty the next day. This time I did nothing untoward and still woke up feel shameful and embarrassed the next day. I might be too old now. Not saying I'm not going to toast my friends successes from now on, but I do think I should have more diversity in my life than seeking oblivion on a weekend. And its not exactly cheap. Doig ended up going home with a guy who robbed him of his phone, £150 in cash, a bottle of vodka and his dignity when exiting his house in the a.m. If I felt shameful I can't imagine how Doig was feeling. I ended the night by having a long intense chat with Henry. Seemed all very important and relevant at the time but retrospectively it was at least 30% drunken rambling and I'm sure we both said things we'd rather not have said, or at least found better ways to say them.

So all in all I am thinking alcohol = evil.

Canterbury

2010-07-26T07:25:00.001+01:00

Over the weekend my aunt had her retirement/house warming/birthday party in Faversham in Kent. Since mum is one of those people who thinks that driving for more than 45 minutes is an epic undertaking and it's at least 2 hours away she decided we would spend the night in the area the day before and make a weekend of it. So mum and her sister Sue ('Titch' to the family .... a nickname so ingrained I didn't even know she was called Sue until I was 17) and I spent the day in Canterbury on Saturday before going over to Faversham on the Sunday. I guess Canterbury is pretty famous in a historic way - the Tales, Beckett, the Cathedral (oldest in the country, started in 597AD), the Archbishop of etc ... guess they're all extensions of a similar theme. Turns out it is STUNNINGLY pretty and also extremely popular with tourists. It seemed like there were a similar number of tourists that Oxford gets in a place about a third of its size, but seriously though:

How pretty!?!? A lot of the town looked like that and even the newer bits weren't too ugly. We had a nice lunch, walked around the shops and visited the Cathedral:

What can I say really?

Voyeurism

2010-07-21T17:00:00.002+01:00

Went into town yesterday so see Cicely and go to the Voyeurism exhibition at Tate Modern. Seeing Cicely was brilliant but the exhibition was rubbish. Went into town about midday and met Cicely at Brittany's office in the Lloyd's Building. I'm always excited to go there and I think its a testament to its great design that 30 years on it's still strikingly modern and there were still a large number of people in the street taking photos of it:

LOVE IT!

Cicely and I then went to the Tate and into the exhibition. Was a bit of a ham fisted collection of photos by artists, of celebrities and social document. Some striking images - especially a picture of Andy Warhol lifting up his shirt to reveal some truly terrifying operation scars following being shot - but mostly we just sort of thought HUNH?:

We then wandered down the South Bank in the sunshine, through Trafalgar Square and into Soho where we met Gayden and Brittney for drinks. We were both really annoyed that we'd spent £10 on seeing Voyeurism at the Tate when it would've cost the same to go see Ernesto Neto at the Hayward:

Ah well. Lovely day though. They all went off for dinner and I went home - eating out is definitely not within my financial grasp at the moment.

Far and few, far and few

2010-07-19T17:45:00.001+01:00

Although it may seem like I've given up blogging again my apparent silence is actually a reflection of how infrequently I can afford to do things these days. In all fairness I did go to the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy last Tuesday but since mum bought a print I'm waiting until the print arrives so I can illustrate the post! This weekend just gone Susannah was leaving London, Deborah just got back from Italy and Cicley was visiting from the States so I had plenty of reasons to loosen my purse strings and head into town.

Went in on Thursday and spent the evening getting stoned with Deborah. The highlight of which was discussing her psychic powers (of which she is sure and I am nothing but sceptical) which culminated in her telling me she could hear voices. I think hearing voices is a much better summary of Deborah's mental state than any notions of soothsaying. Friday I bummed around London in the sunshine reading my book (Stone's Fall by Iain Pears ... its ok) and waiting to meet up with Bean so we could head to Susannah's leaving party. Ended up in a pub in East Putney drinking berry mojitos in blazing sunshine. The party was really fun, mostly because I drank in excess of half a bottle of vodka, and I was glad to find out that Susannah was only going as far as York - not back to San Francisco like I was expecting. Meet some great people too including a barrister who offered to pass my CV around a bit so hopefully that will lead somewhere.

Stayed at Bean's flat on Friday night ready for the arrival of Cicely the following morning. Woke up with a stinking hangover and practically ran to the nearby Asian supermarket for ramen and gyoza. Started to feel a bit more human in time for Cicley's arrival and we all spent the rest of the day drinking wine at Borough Market on another gloriously sunny day. In the evening we all went for Vietnamese food on the Kingsland Road:

Then went on to the Book Store. New club which plays Electro Swing music ... think Big Band with a dance beat. Had a really good time and was extremely amused by Brittany who had one or two tequila shots too many:

Sunday meant another hangover, another emergency dose of gyoza and another sunny day. In spite of my intention to spend the day lying on a sofa and groaning I was tempted down to Balham to see Clare's new house, which she moved into on Friday and spent the day having beers and barbeque in the back garden:

Most importantly I got to spend time with Wilbur:

Excuse me while I explode from a cuteness overload.

Hmmmmm

2010-07-08T11:47:00.000+01:00

Maybe those asylum seekers are better off where they are since at least one of the national papers here is openly homophobic. Seems senseless to be offended by the Daily Express since its such a moronic publication but I can't help but be upset that it must represent a significant portion of the British public.

Hurrah!

2010-07-07T16:32:00.002+01:00

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/jul/07/gay-asylum-seekers-rights-deportation

I couldn't be any happier about this. I urge you to spend a few short minutes googling the shit that happens to people in Iran who are accused of being gays. Its horrifying. I like to think of England now as a big gay goose snuggling all its little gay chicks under protective wings (made of crumpets and tea obv.). I wish I could get a job as a one man welcome wagon at Heathrow for the persecuted homos fleeing here. I'd welcome them with a G&T, a picture of the Queen and a queue jump ticket for Heaven. Its all you need really.

What's that sound? It's a barrel being scraped

2010-07-07T16:10:00.002+01:00

An Escort (seen above) on Gaydar sent me a message saying hello and I sent one back being all 'you're wasting your time, I'm completely broke'. He wrote back saying 'ummm, I was just saying hi' and now I feel guilty. Shamed by an escort!!!! Its a whole new low in my life.

Of drugs and gays

2010-07-04T21:32:00.005+01:00

Was in London over the weekend having a lovely time. Weather continues to be scorching and while I'm enjoying my first forays into summer clothing (previous years have seen me in winter clothes, just less of them) I'm beginning to stare wistfully at my cashmere jumpers in their cocoons. First reason for going into town was Laura's birthday. Met up with Brittany and Molly in the Light Bar in Shoreditch and then on to East Village with a quick beer or two in Favela Chic on the way. Also had the 'pleasure' of the company of a couple of extremely posh people from St Andrews that I thought I'd seen the last of but due to Brittany's pleasant appearance an inability to say 'no' such people infrequently appear for a few hours. Unfortunately I was horribly drunk the whole evening so my recollection is hazy at best but one of them definitely told a story that involved being at Boris Johnson's table during the opening of the Beijing Olympics. The mind boggles. My expectations of finding a meritocracy SOMEWHERE in the world were dealt another blow. Eventually it was mooted that cocaine should be acquired and I explained to Brittany that if we spent the rest of the evening with coked up posh boys I'd kill myself. So we left. Which is just as well because the bouncer caught them with their cocaine and the police were called. Since one of the people concerned was a lawyer and a licence was at stake money exchanged hands and nothing came of it in the end but it was a part of the evening I was certainly glad to avoid.

Everything else about the bar hopping was great though - Laura is wonderful, her boyfriend Jack equally so, I don't think I've ever spent an unpleasant second with either of them and Friday was no exception. Plus Bills showed up totally unexpectedly and there was much kissing, tequila drinking and catching up to be done. After escaping the threat of tedious cocaine chat we went to find Brittany's boyfriend and Sonny Phil in a somewhat less salubrious but definitely more appropriate venue. Appropriate because I was so drunk. I definitely remember throwing up in my mouth at one point. Nice.

Eventually we went back to Brittany's new flat on Boundary Street. Small but perfectly formed and a good deal cleaner than the Brick Lane flat. Anthony was in and up. Stayed up all night talking, arguing, listening to music and having a nice time. Created a strange feeling the following day - because I'd stopped drinking and sobered up around 5am I forgot that I'd been EXTREMELY drunk and it only occurred to me halfway through Saturday that I was horribly hungover. Thought I was just tired and hot. Once I realised I was hungover I could do something about it - namely eat lots of chips and drink lots of soda. Ended Friday on a sour note of frustrated affection and will not be making the same mistakes again. Was a reminder to grow up and focus my attentions in appropriate places.

Saturday was gay pride at which I was expecting to march with the Albert Kennedy Trust. Since I hadn't been to sleep I was up very early and took the opportunity to head over to Henry's flat so I could drop off my bag and not have it on my back all day. Spent the morning changing clothes and drinking diet coke in a bid to stave off sleep then we headed out. Walked up and down Baker Street looking for the AKT peeps but they were not in evidence. Checked out all the cute boys in small shorts who were, unfortunately, all hired by companies to advertise their wares (both the companies and their own) and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a homo amongst them. We waited for 45 minutes for the parade to start and to hopefully spot AKT as they came past but due to no sleep, stinking (but as yet unrealised) hangover, BLAZING heat and sunshine, and the small matter of the waistband of my micro shorts digging into my sore back we headed off the Soho to check out the action there.

Wandered around for a bit and decamped to Nandos for chicken, chips and to enjoy the unlimited soda. Highlight of the day for me was that Andi Peters (former TV presenter turned producer - certainly recognisable but a stretch to call him famous) was eating in Nandos. He was sat downstairs and his party was the only party on that floor. As an extra precaution his booth was barricaded by a line of chairs, which I can only assume they were hoping would provide him with an extra few seconds of escape time as he was stampeded by his adoring public. This was in marked contrast to Rupert Everett (former Hollywood movie star, friend of Donatella Versace and MORE than a little bit famous) who was eating at a restaurant 2 doors down sat out on the street with nothing more than his lunch as a barricade. Also saw Ivan Massow. If that isn't a reason to post a picture of him I don't know what is. Must ask him out one of these days.

After embarrassing ourselves by eating half the restaurant (seriously, the waitress visibly judged us and couldn't hide her disgust) we went to Trafalgar Square to party a little bit. Not much of a party to be had so we headed home. Was SO happy to get home - back was killing me, feet were killing me, it was 30 degrees and my hangover had only been alleviated so much. Was asleep by 10pm. Unfortunately I didn't take my camera so no pictures.

Had mixed feelings about the whole day really. The general reaction to my friends about gay pride was 'what's the point of that these days? Gays have it all' and there was a distinct lack of energy to the whole event. Since this comes at a time on increased homophobia in London I was slightly unsettled by the whole thing. Coverage in the press today reflects that - no headlines, no major coverage, just a bit of 'oh by the way, this happened'. Shame really. Plus Madrid Pride was the same weekend so all the gym bunnies were busy showing the Madrilenos what they've got. I guess if I'd slept and not been so hungover I'd have had a more favourable impression over all.

It's been too long!

2010-07-01T17:28:00.003+01:00

I've just read some of my old posts and its been a nice reminder of how a blog functions as a diary as well as a public forum. So I might get stuck in again. Today is not a good day though - I got up, went to the job centre, went to the gym, ate chicken and tried not to expire from boredom. I'm sure I'll be doing things again soon though

Knee Surgery

2009-11-16T17:21:00.005Z

Not a lot to report ... I'm in my third week of post-surgery recovery. Some pictures for your delectation:

Have to confess that the photos are quite old now and things are already MUCH improved. Still wearing the stupid leg brace though - three more weeks of that to enjoy.

Steve's Birthday

2009-09-08T16:04:00.006+01:00

Went camping over the weekend to celebrate Steve's birthday. Really enjoyed the whole evening much more than I thought I would ... and I was looking forward to it. Here's a picture of me shitting myself with excitement in my tent:

Obviously my happiness has got nothing to do with the full bar occupying 50% of my tent. Ehem. Since the gays were the only people who had bought a realistic amount of alcohol (8 of us, therefore 2.5 litres of spirits, 18 beers, 18 ciders, 5 bottles of wine) we were forced to hide it all from the rest of the group. My tent became known as Catacombs ... the gayest of gay bars in the whole of the Forest of Dean. Was so much fun.

Came home and had a poignant mum and son moment - realised that we both had our joint rolling equipment in bags on the coffee table. 'How alike we are' I thought and then realised that hers was a bag she got free with Good Housekeeping magazine and mine was a leather Gucci makeup bag (which I bought in a moment of vanity and self-aggrandisation in my early teens).

The Diet Delusion

2009-08-27T15:01:00.005+01:00

I cannot recommend reading the Diet Delusion by Gary Taubes any more highly. 500 pages of impeccable research and a thoughtful examination of current dietary thinking. A book so full of revelations that I almost got exhausted of being surprised by them. I had to restrain myself from reading bits to people on the tube on more than one occasion ... anyone who has been on the tube knows what a big no-no that is and anyone who knows me knows what a big no-no that is for me. In summary:

1. Dietary fat, whether saturated or not, is not the cause of obesity, heart disease, or any other chronic disease of civilisation.

2. The problem is carbohydrates in the diet, their effect on insulin secretion, and thus the hormonal regulation of homeostasis - the entire harmonic ensemble of the human body. The more easily digestible and refined the carbohydrates, the greater the effect on our height, weight and well-being.

3. Sugars - sucrose and high-fructose corn syrup specifically - are particularly harmful, probably because the combination of fructose and glucose simultaneously elevates insulin levels while overloading the liver with carbohydrates.

4. Through their direct effect on insulin and blood sugar, refined carbohydrates, starches and sugars are the dietary cause of coronary heart disease and diabetes. They are the most likely dietary causes of cancer, Alzheimer's disease, and the other chronic diseases of civilisation.

5. Obesity is a disorder of excess fat accumulation, not overeating, and not sedentary behaviour.

6. Consuming excess calories does not cause us to grow fatter, any more than it causes a child to grow taller. Expending more energy than we consume does not lead to long term weight loss; it leads to hunger.

7. Fattening and obesity are cause by an imbalance in the hormonal regulation of adipose tissue and fat metabolism. Fat synthesis and storage exceed mobilisation of fat from the adipose tissues and its subsequent oxidation. We become leaner when the hormonal regulation of the fat tissue reverse this balance.

8. Insulin is the primary regulator of fat storage. When insulin levels are elevated - either chronically (diabetes) or after a meal - we accumulate fat in our fat tissue. When insulin levels fall, we release fat from our fat tissue and use it for fuel.

9. By stimulating insulin secretion, carbohydrates make us fat and ultimately cause obesity. The fewer carbohydrates we consume, the leaner we will be.

10. By driving fat accumulation, carbohydrates also increase hunger and decrease the amount of energy we expend in metabolism and physical activity.

Is he right? Who knows, I'm no biochemistry expert. I think its enough that if he is even partially right it would be a complete revolution in the concept of diet and exercise. For me he has removed COMPLETELY any feelings of guilt surrounding food and my diet. Its difficult to express what that means to me; I was first put on a diet at 7 years old and thereafter the implication was that it was my conscious fault for being overweight and the only thing standing in my way was my lack of dedication and self control. Feeling like a failure for 21 years is grinding.

Compelling evidence to the contrary has revolutionised my life, my happiness and my entire attitude towards existence. Everyone should read this book and anyone who struggles with their weight should HAVE to read it, it is nothing less than extraordinary. I would love to disseminate Gary's ideas as far and wide as I'm able to. Unfortunately I'm no Oprah so I'm limited to publishing them on my blog. To get the full weight of his rationale and to appreciate the science behind it please read the book. Rant over.

In case you think on my own one of the jacket quotes is:

'This book is a most important contribution to Mankind - really an historic book.'

Jeremy Stone, president of The American Federation of Scientists.

Different title in the States:http://www.amazon.com/Good-Calories-Bad-Controversial-Science/dp/1400033462/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251383113&sr=8-1

Home sweet home

2009-08-20T23:07:00.002+01:00

Today marks the day I officially left London and moved back home with mum. Been living out of a bag for a couple of weeks so I'm really happy to be back with my stuff around me and my full wardrobe to choose from. I'm not Carrie Bradshaw but two weeks of washing two shirts and one gym outfit is more than one gay can be expected to stand.

Brittany had a friend to stay the last day I was also resident and this conversation took place:

Ruth: What does your dad do?

Brit: He's a salesman for AIG, has his own business and acts independantly

ME: (applause as I enter stage left) Wait, he's an independant financial adviser?

Brit: Yeah

Me: That's what I want to do for a living

Brit: Really? Dad's always asking if I have any friends who want to come and work for him. So I guess if you're willing to move to New Jersey you'd have a job.

Me: I am willing

Brit: No, seriously. If you're willing to live in New Jersey I will send him your CV. Actually, we're only about 30 mins from New York so you could live in the city.

Me: How have we known each other for 10 years and not had this conversation before?

So there we are ... CV has been submitted, everything is crossed. Just hoping her dad is till in the market for an employee.

Mmmmmmmmmmm cake

2009-08-18T00:57:00.002+01:00

I don't have my cord to attach my camera to my laptop so illustration will have to wait. It's Henry's birthday on Tuesday and on Saturday he had a dinner party for 9 of us. Was Steve, Doig, Faye, Helen, Paul, Henry, Craig and myself. As usual Henry went all out on the catering and a supremely delicious mussel soup with homemade bread was followed by red mullet with a selection of salads (including peach, mozzarella and mint which was delicious). he big bang at the end of the meal was his birthday cake which had no fewer than 7 layers! An extravaganza of sponge, red velvet, butter cream, meringue ... the list goes on. It was amazing. Plus cheese and petite fours. I supplied the chocolates and mighty fine they were too, from www.meltchocolates.com. They bloody well should have been too - 25 chocolates set me back almost £40. Basically spent the same on chocolates that I spent on Henry's present!

It was such a good night - really close knit group of people, all on top form, having a really magical evening together. Ended up with the gays shrieking and chasing each other with fat calipers while drinking pomegranate martinis at 5 o clock in the morning. Passed out where I stood and ate my way through my hangover the following day. Can't wait for Henry's birthday next year!

Green shoots

2009-07-16T19:04:00.002+01:00

Feeling trapped and miserable is getting old. Jobless, in pain, suffering under the rule of Miriam. But it occurs to me - I have £4000 in my bank account, a big brain, legal training and middle class parents.

People have taken over the world with a lot less.

Sound of dust blowing ...

2009-07-07T17:19:00.000+01:00

Bored, bored, bored

2009-07-05T13:35:00.003+01:00

Done nothing since I had my bike accident last Tuesday, my knee isn't actually too terrible but I'm gravely concerned about making it worse. Spent all of Friday at Accident and Emergency getting bandaged from ankle to thigh and being issued with crutches. Supposed to maintain that until my appointment with the consultant on Wednesday. Weekend before I had my bike accident I had a lovely time ... Thursday was book club at which we discussed The Old Man and the Sea and The Informers by Juan Gabriel Vasquez - a book so bad it would take the entire computing capacity of the world wide web to contain my disgusted rant against it. Friday night I went for leaving drinks to say goodbye to Gisele who's off to live in Houston recruiting energy traders. She was very excited about it but I think she's nuts. Well, rather her than me anyway. Got very drunk and then stumbled off the get curry in Cinnamon at one in the morning with Brittany.

Saturday I woke up at Brit's then tubed it back to Clapham in time to have lunch with Brock and Clare who is now VERY pregnant and having a boy. I'm so excited about having a baby close by, might go some way to alleviating my baby fever. Spent all day drinking with them (well, Brock anyway) in the sunshine and catching up. Was a really nice day. Sunday I had an all day BBQ at Faye's flat. Lots of meat, lots of salads, lovely Pavlova Henry made. Ended up going for drinks in the Green with the gays and getting VERY drunk. Had to take Richard home because he was asleep in the bar at one point. Took about an hour to get into his building between non-functioning keys and Richard not being able to remember his flatmate's name. Good times. Put Richard to bed, smoked a couple of joints and danced around a bit.

It was a good weekend but not good for the diet. Gone back to working out like a maniac during the week and then plunging off the wagon at the weekend. Now is just a constant struggle against the urge to lie around and eat all day. Stuck in the house with TV and weed as my only companions ... who's thoughts wouldn't turn to raisin/cornflake/chocolate treats!! Trying my hardest though and I'm going to Pilates this afternoon, mostly to see the love of my life and get out of the house. Going to be SUPER careful.

Bad blogger

2009-07-02T22:14:00.001+01:00

I know, I know. My computer broke and I had (another) bike accident. Nursing a crunchy knee and a thankfully operational lap top. More surgery for me! YAY!

5 days in a row is a habit, right?

2009-06-23T12:33:00.005+01:00

Had a terribly boring day on Saturday, Miriam was away at Ascot so I wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet in the house. Did a mahoosive work out in the morning, including starting the hundred push up challenge (http://hundredpushups.com/). Had plans to see Debora later in the day so I didn't mind killing time milling around. Turns out Debora wasn't well and slept all day so by about 8:30 I was going CRAZY with boredom (and hunger). Finally snapped and went charging up to the High Street with Amy to get Mexican food. Tim and Jess came to meet us and we ended up going for drinks (me not drinking, like a SAINT). One of them had been at Ascot and drinking all day, see if you can guess which:

I wasn't drinking not only to be healthy but with the intention of going to Body Pump at 9:30 the next morning. Mind was willing but the body was not able. Had a nice lie in instead. In the afternoon went to the ever glorious Battersea Park for a picnic for Matt's birthday. Even though the park is minutes from my house (by bike) and I've been there on numerous occasions ever time I go I see something new. This time I found a pagoda and a herb garden. Wonder if the herbs are for sale? Would be amazing if they were. Have to look into it. Anyway, picnic was lovely and Matt's GORGEOUS girlfriend Genny made some great sandwhiches:

Only dark cloud was me - I was excessively grumpy and since I'm on my crazy diet brought and ate my own food. Don't think Genny is my biggest fan and now I'm sure she thinks I'm a rude bastard. I left when Matt's gorgeous cousin Ed showed up. Met him about 10 years ago and developed a huge crush (he's the worlds nicest boy) and shortly after he left to be the House of Lords representative to the European Parliament no less! In the intervening time his hair had turned grey, thereby transforming him into my ideal apart. Apart from the whole being straight thing, so I left in a huff.

Finished the day well though - Henry had invited me to lunch but I'd already agreed to go to the picnic but I went to go meet the lunch party at an old man's gay pub in Limehouse and saw some truly second rate drag. Had an amazing time, laughed like a drain at all the drunken antics and got a 15 mile cycle ride out of the whole affair too. Here's Henry and Amy having the TIME OF THEIR LIVES:

Monday the only excitement was going to Pilates instructed by the completely adorable Michael. Small, handsome, bright eyed, bushy tailed Australian guy. I'm in love. I literally had to restrain myself from running out in the middle of the class to buy him a puppy. Good news is that he's a gay, bad news is that there's no way someone that adorable is single. Anyway, he teaches on Sunday and Monday so I'll be going and praying I'm wrong.

Its Tuesday now and I've been dieting and exercising like a maniac for five days. Went to Yoga this afternoon and later I'll be cycling 5 miles to Waterloo to do a spinning class. Yoga felt amazing, first time I've done it in ages. I'm definitely going to have to get stuck back in. Am feeling very thin and healthy. Bit exhausted though so I think tomorrow is going to be a day of rest and carbohydrate consumption! YAY! Can't wait.

Good or bad?

2009-06-19T22:16:00.002+01:00

Today I ate breakfast, went for a 'job' interview (it was a recruitment agent 'we can definitely get you work ... maybe early next year'. Useful) cycled 5 miles, worked out, did a spinning class, worked out, cycled 3 miles, drank water, cycled 6 miles. So definitely back on the diet train which I was very happy about. HOWEVER pinned up above my computer are my new years resolutions and one of them is 'Not to swing wildly between being a bum and dieting but instead find a happy medium'. Bollocks.

Monday morning you sure looked fine

2009-06-18T20:18:00.004+01:00

Monday I was still reeling from Saturday and determined to get back to normality. However, it turned out it was James' final exam so I met him and Brittany for 'a' celebratory drink at 4:30pm. Ended up dancing on tables screaming along to Whitney Houston in a gay club at three o clock in the morning. The Monday night clubbing crowd is a scary crowd. Believe me. Slept over at Brittany's on Monday and Tuesday started off with a restorative breakfast of Nandos. Finally got home in the afternoon to find my whole life a disaster - clothes everywhere, food going off in the fridge, alfalfa mouldering in its sprouter, wheatgrass seeds festering on my floor, piles of laundry, smelly sheets (weird since I'd barely slept in them), e-mails unanswered, phone calls missed and blog completely ignored. So ever since I've been trying to get things back on track. Went for a lovely dinner party at Craig's last night (Danish meatballs and Melodiafestivalen, can't get better than that) and he's been going to boot camp classes four times a week! He's also not had a drink for 8 weeks. Reminded me that until relatively recently I'd been similar and had prioritised gym and health over booze and falling down. So I'm determined to get back on track. Having a lovely curry at the moment and then tomorrow its back on the Paleo diet, back to the gym and bye bye to booze. I'm too old to drink anyway. I always though I looked like crap the next day because of cigarettes, but I haven't had a cigarette for weeks (I know, right?) and I still looked about 36 on Monday. Look! This is what you can achieve if you concentrate on life rather than booze (Craig's dessert):

Bad blogger

2009-06-18T19:59:00.004+01:00

I'm really not keeping up to date and I think I've identified the source of my problem - my bed. I always want to relay what I've been doing but the urge to flump around in cotton and goose down is just too strong. My new duvet and pillows are so nice I just can't think of anything I'd rather be doing than luxuriating in them. So I'm typing this from bed. Nice compromise. Being super hungover hasn't helped either. I didn't sleep in my bed for a week cause I was so busy getting drunk and falling asleep on people's sofas.

Last Saturday I went for lunch at Billy's and drank my body weight in alcohol and was treated to some delicious chicken cacciatore. We all went to the pub after and I had to go off to a quiz at Amy France's house that she was holding to raise money for a charity thing she's doing. If I hadn't left the pub I probably would've been unconscious within the hour, however, since I had a long ride on the tube I had time enough to sober up a bit. So I bought some beers, went to the quiz and then the night becomes a bit of a blur. I didn't find out quite how bad my behaviour had been until Monday because I'd left my mobile phone at home, so I spent Sunday in ignorant (albeit SUPER hungover) bliss going round the Art Car Boot Sale in Brick Lane and watching movies. I was so hungover that I'd be groaning for a couple of hours and then get these terrifying waves where I felt like I'd taken too much acid and was about to die. Fun it was not.

Anywho, as a quick example of Saturday night I offer up this lovely little story: the last time I met Stephen's flatmate Julie I was so drunk I called her a fucking bitch for not buying me a drink. Obviously I was joking but since it was the first time we'd met how was she to know? So this time I was determined to make a good impression and was pretty sure it was mission accomplished as one of my only memories of the party was giving Julie a big hug. HOWEVER, I found out on Monday that rather than saying 'hello' to her I grabbed her cardigan out of her hands, blew my nose on it, looked at the label and went 'French Connection? How vile' and threw it on the ground. Seems the overall impression of me at the party though was I'm a bit f a legend, was on amazing form and helped the whole night go with a bang ... even Julie's overall opinion of me was 'lovely'. Still, I'm pretty glad I remember nothing.

Food or no food?

2009-06-13T12:40:00.006+01:00

Had a great night last night, Henry organised a Mexican themed gathering at his house to watch the entire series of the Rachel Zoe project. Any excuse for the gays to have a party. I made chilli and we also had chilli prawns, seafood salad, nachos (OBVIOUSLY), guac, salsa and tortillas. In typical fashion we ended up spending hundreds of pounds and catering for tens of people for a 'quiet night in'. Also had tequila slammers, margaritas, Corona and tequila sunrises (see above). Drank steadily so although I was definitely over the limit by the end of the evening I wasn't too smashed. Rachel Zoe project was really good - she obviously has all the depth and personality of a petri dish but she was surprisingly nice and obviously obsessed with fashion. I expected her to be a cynical manipulator but it seems like she at least really enjoys what she does. Although I'm not quite sure what she does - her husband is her business manager and her assistant Taylor does most of the work. It seems like she just drifts in at the last minute (giant Starbucks by her side) and points at things. Although obviously, like everyone in the fashion industry, she finds everything VERY STRESSFUL.

Much hilarity was to be found in her overly botoxed face ... she'd actually had so much botox that she SAID how she was feeling rather than expressing it on her face 'I am so happy about that right now' 'I'm really feeling very upset right now' all the while looking like a wax work of herself. Throughout the four hours or so we watched she ate one tiny scrap of food (even though other people on the show ate o more than one occasion) and the rest of the time had a giant beverage in her hand, mostly Starbucks. She looked amazing as well, although some people were a bit disturbed by the visible bones in the middle of her chest. So I'm feeling quite inspired to get back on the weightloss bandwagon now - always seems to happen when I see something so fashion centric. We all vowed at the time we were never going to eat again but since we were shovelling Mexican food into our mouths at the time and I started off this morning with a sausage/egg muffin I don't think I need to worry about eating disorders just yet.

All clear

2009-06-11T11:29:00.002+01:00

Got the all clear from the doctor this morning ... my shoulder is not fractured! Hurrah! Means I can go back to the gym and wave excitedly at all and sundry.

Find of the century

2009-06-09T22:13:00.002+01:00

Not a lot to report so far this week, until I get the all clear on my fractured shoulder I'm loathe to do anything too active. I don't want to end up being the moron who went to the gym with a fractured shoulder. Highlight of the week has to have been finding a new suit in a charity shop. Lovely place on Northcote Road, I'd seen an Empori Armani suit in there before and was sorely tempted to buy it. However, it was £90 and I came up with a lot of reasons why it was too much. Went back and had another look and I thought they'd reduced it by £10. Turns out it was a new Armani suit ... Giorgio Armani, Classico. Classico was the line designed by Armani himself (since renamed) and uses the finest materials and construction methods. Had a look at the label and it was 100% cashmere. So I got a £3500 suit for £80. Can't complain.

Started applying for jobs today, weather is on a down turn and I'm desperate to move out. Sooner I can get a job the sooner I can have nice flatmates (at worst). Got a call back about a position too! Mind you I registered with 11 agencies and only got 1 call back. Plus NONE of the websites came up with suitable positions. Some of them would have thousands of jobs, I'd search for Paralegal work, any location, any sector and there would be 0 results. Good times.

Lots Part II

2009-06-07T15:07:00.005+01:00

On Thursday I started, drum roll please, work! Only for three days, but involved the exchange of funds nevertheless. I was helping out a guy with his stand at the Antiquarian Book Fair in the Olympia Centre. Pablo Butcher, the guy, was the husband of a friend of mum's from OUP and she'd helped him in years passed. I showed up Thursday morning and helped him set up his stand thus:

He specialises in photographs of foreign countries and travel books about them - lots of Africa, Indian and Asia (Ukraine - Borneo and everything in between!). Really interesting job, lots of old and very rare things to see. Fair opened at 4 for the preview and I went home at 8:30. The clientele were quite extraordinary - perfectly prepared to spend tens of thousands of pounds on an old book but NOT ONE PENNY on dandruff shampoo. If I'd been a germaphobe I'd have to have showered every fifteen minutes. Some proper English eccentrics too which was also nice to see. One ex-military type barked at me 'Have you got anything on the area formerly known as Chinese Turkistan?' .... ummmmmmm?

I'm a huge fan of reading and a great lover of books so I'd always thought at the very back of my mind I'd get into rare book collecting. Now I'm not so sure. Believe me there were some EXTREMELY covetable things there. I loved the original Art Deco graphic leather covers for sets of books and a four volume set of an encyclopedia of animals including Hydras and other mythical creatures which was £322,000!!!!!! That was the problem - everything was insanely expensive. The four volume animal encyclopedia I get - its beautiful, 500 years old, in amazing condition and an actual physical bit of history. But I don't think that that should have a trickle down effect. Pablo was pricing something up for £680 and I was thinking 'Oh I guess that's not too bad, still a bit much but ... oh wait, he's adding another 0'.

It just seemed like books were worth what people were prepared to pay for them, everything is priced so high to try and skim off the one person crazy enough and rich enough to pay what they're asking. A leather bound, boxed, first edition set of His Dark Materials signed by Philip Pullman - covetable? YES! £12,333? No. Why are they worth that? Because other people want them? Hmmmm. Made me very disillusioned with the whole thing. I'd advise rebinding new books with exquisite covers, creating your own future valuables, rather than starting collecting in that market.

So the job was meant to go on for three days but I had a big bike accident cycling into work the next day. Van pulled out suddenly from a side street, in front of me, I had to brake really hard (admittedly I was FLYING along a busy street with no helmet), it had been raining and as I swerved to avoid him my bike went down. I smacked my head and landed heavily. Guy didn't even notice and drove off - the reason the accident happened was because he hadn't looked in the first place. Nice lady helped me up and looked after my bike while I went in Nero to examine my wounds. I decided I was in OK shape and cycled off to work. By the time I got there I had a bump the size of a grapefruit on my temple and was so confused I couldn't work out how to get into the exhibition. I couldn't work out how to get from outside to inside, the transition between the two realms made no sense to me. Obviously I was in great shape. So I called Pablo to come from his other stand and went to hospital in a taxi.

Ended up waiting FOREVER for a doctor (3/4 hours) while organising Henry and mum to cover work for me (saviours). By the time I got in there my bump had subsided and my shoulder had started to be the main source of discomfort. Had a few x-rays and the doctor thought I might have fractured my shoulder. Put me in a sling and sent me home with an appointment at the fracture clinic on Thursday. I don't think so, it really doesn't hurt any more and I've hardly worn the sling. I can get full range of motion without anything hurting or grinding so I really don't think its fractured. Still going on Thursday, just to be sure, of course. It might not be fractured but it sure ain't pretty:

Lots

2009-06-07T14:20:00.004+01:00

Haven't I been a bad blogger. Dear me, lots to report. The Sunday following the last time I blogged I had a picnic in glorious sunshine on Clapham Common, wore some extremely short shorts. After everyone came back to my house and we had drinks and nibbles in the garden while getting ready to go out. In the end Henry, three Amys, Craig, Doig and myself went to the 2Brewers on Clapham High Street EXTREMELY worse for wear. I didn't realise that by the third drag queen one of the girls was lying on the pavement outside the club waiting to be carried home by everyone else. Amy Murray and I stayed until 3 am. I was so drunk that even though we left the club together we manged to get separated almost immediately in the street. I ended up going to sleep on the common right on the busiest paths. Eventually a guy woke me up 'Are you all right mate?' 'I'm FINE, I'm just waiting for my flatmate'. Eventually stumbled home to bed.

As you can imagine the next couple of days were something of a write-off. Had a wondrous evening Tuesday night though. Went shopping all day with Debora and then went to Battersea Park to walk her very cute Miniature Jack Russell Pepe. Such a nice Park - winding gravel pathways, a restored Victorian Sub Tropical outdoor garden, an island, tree lined roads. Gorgeous. We'd bought along some weed to get stoned in the Park because it was such a nice evening and this is where we ended up smoking:

Where Debora's bag is is where we were smoking and where the bright lights are there was a ... I shit you not ... reggae band playing. So nice, bats flying overhead, duckings in the pond in front, reggae music. Can't ask for much more! Rest of the week

was uneventful until Friday when I hosted book club at my house. No one had read the book as it was changed last minute so really it was just a drinks and nibbles thing with general discussion of any books we'd read that month. Was lovely.

Last Sunday Brittany's brother Johnny arrived for two days on his way to an internship at an engineering firm in Mozambique. Hadn't seen him since he was 14, now he's 22. It's weird that I'm that old. Many pints were had on the Sunday on Brick Lane and it was such a nice day I crapped out on a BBQ I'd agreed to go to. Bad boy. Alcohol soon eased the pain, especially after we played Kings on the roof of the Brick Lane flat - here's the view (with Johnny):

and we ended up getting Vindaloo at cinnamon. We then went to the restaurant owners car to get high. Got stoned and drove around the dodgy back streets of east London with the windows down, the new Eminem album BLASTING out of the car, smoking joints and all at 2am. Was one of the strangest nights of my life, very surreal. Ended up cycling back to Brittany's VERY drunk and staying the night.

Monday we did the best thing you can do in London and just wandered round for 6 hours enjoying the buildings and the sunshine. Swung by Buckingham Palace, stopped off for lots of pints - us in Covent Garden:

had some Moroccan food in Soho. Ended up at the John Snow pub drinking big bottles of organic cider with lots of ice with Harry and his friend Alexa who lives in Clapham, has just broken up with her boyfriend, is a nutritionist and a yoga teacher (I accidentally typed 'Yoda', teach you she will). So I think I may have found my new best friend (he says, eating crisps). Finished the evening off at the Friendly Society, basement gay bar where they have barbie dolls stapled to the ceiling. So I think Johnny got a taste of everything London had to offer

On Monday I had a picnic with Amy, Henry and Doing in Govesnor Square outside the American Embassy. GLORIOUS sunny day. Cycling around Mayfair cause I was there 25 minutes early. Lovely picnic, great to see everybody. Amy had to go back to work, Henry to the gym and Doig shopping (it was a day off work for him) and I pootled around on my bike then came home. More to say to bring things up to date but I think I should probably post this before it becomes too big to fit on the Internet.

Other stuff this week

2009-05-23T20:38:00.004+01:00

Completely forgot to mention that I went to the launch of the magazine CENTREFOLD this week, of which my ex-flatmate Gayden is the fashion editor. So proud of her. I'd have been prouder of her if the magazine had come back from the printers in time for the launch and I had something to be proud about, but it was not to be. Didn't really matter though -they blew up stills from the magazine and had them on the walls of this gallery (its a biannual fashion magazine so you can imagine its very arty) and there was a massive turn out. Lots of UBERtrendy, monied, media types. Lousy with hot guys too. Events like that are SO much more suitable for potential boyfriends than stupid clubs. Anyway, here's a picture of Gayden looking AMAZING in some Versace cheetah print at the opening:

This week

2009-05-22T23:20:00.003+01:00

Had a rather lovely week all in all. Most activities revolved around exercise and desperately trying not to eat bread. Actually, to be fair its only last night and today that I was tempted to break my diet and the only reason I didn't was because I could actually SEE I was thinner in the mirror this morning. Bearing in mind I spend at least an hour (in total) every day poking at my fat in the mirror, to have changed enough for it to be noticeable under that degree of scrutiny is truly an achievement.

Exercise reached its peak on Wednesday this week when I cycled 4 miles to my gym, lifted weights for an hour, did an hour Pilates class, cycled home. Then cycled 2 miles to my friend's gym in the evening did a 90 minute cardio workout and then cycled home. Then got a call saying my friend Fed was around - he's been in Uganda for two years - so I cycled 6 miles over to my friends flat to see him. Have to say I didn't make the gym the following day but really there was no need (and I did walk around for four hours all afternoon and then cycled 6 miles home)!

Bought some seriously snappy shorts this afternoon. They are the very embodiment of short shorts. Not only do they look great but they'll save me having to tell people I'm gay. They have turn ups and everything. Maybe I'll post a picture the first time I wear them.

Diet and Exercise

2009-05-19T19:21:00.002+01:00

Made the executive decision to go back on the Paleo diet today. Although it is one of the more restrictive diets you can go on its really easy and very nutritious. Basically you're supposed to eat like a caveman and definitely not eat any processed foods. So no wheat, dairy, rice, legumes, potatoes or salt but lots of lean protein, fruit and vegetables. Its easy cause you can have as much as you want of the foods you are allowed to eat - no calorie/carb counting and weighing things. I really like it because you start to think of food as fuel which is good for someone who basically uses food as a mood stabiliser. The major downside is that it really sucks all the fun out of food. For example today I've eaten an omlette with half a can of tuna and then for dinner I had a turkey steak, kale and broccoli. No salt, no sauce, no nothing. To be fair you can use herbs and spices but I wasn't feeling very inspired today. If I make something more interesting I'll blog about it and take a photo.

I've been on something of a health kick for a while (lots of gym, lots of cycling) but haven't made too much of an effort with the diet. I've lost loads of weight cause I'm doing so much exercise but now I want to take things to the next level and get the twin benefits of a healthy diet and lots of exercise. I'll be a relief map of veins on no time. Plus I've been on so many diets of the years that psychologically I feel like if I'm not depriving myself of something I'm not really trying. Have to see how it goes - first day no problem, ge ready for lots of posts about how amazing bread is though once I start to miss it. In fact I think I'm going to start a new blog all about my Paleo experience! YAY!

Family and frolicks

2009-05-18T19:25:00.004+01:00

Mum's birthday on Tuesday ... went home for a party with the faaamily on Sunday. Although the party was on Sunday mum asked me to come home early to help with the cooking. Turns out there wasn't that much cooking to do but I think I was more than aware I was at home for the purposes of company rather than for coooking skills. This did mean that I missed cocktails and hilarity with the gays on Saturday night watching the Eurovision Song Contest. Not quite the same as watching it with someone going 'Can we watch something else, this is terrible'. Some relationships its all take take, take.

Party on Sunday was ok, crowds are not my scene and my family is not my scene. Highlight was watching my cousins child (Matti ... Danish name) ... which was a great excuse to go and have a lie down on mum's bed. Look I took a picture:

Love that I won't put pictures of me on here but am more than happy to expose the rest of my family to the steely gaze of the general public (all 1/2 of you). So aside from family frolicks I got stoned a lot and rather than having access to the mint tea and mung beans in my house I had access to the ice cream and cheese cake ay my mothers house. Three days without exercise and dessert after evey meal. I'm trying to control the urge to go on a lettuce only diet and take my sleeping bag to the gym.

BTW I'm watching Lipstick Jungle, its awful with a capital UGH

Schedule of Crazy

2009-05-14T13:33:00.003+01:00

Shortly after posting yesterday I retired to bed to enjoy my new sheets. I was somewhat aware of the fact that I'd only had four hours sleep and thought it might be good to have a nap. HOWEVER, I made the huge mistake of watching 30 Rock for ages, so when I did go to sleep it was about 7 which meant I woke up at 5 this morning! 5! I'd been to the gym and was considering having my second shower of the day BEFORE MIDDAY. Craziness. I've achieved so much already. God knows when I'm going to get out of this crazy sleep schedule too. Although I guess techincally going to bed early and getting up with daylight isn't CRAZY crazy. In fact its quite the opposite. Maybe this will be the start of a new me, maybe I'll have to change the name of my blog?!!?! Tales of an old lady?

Most annoying part of the day was deciding at 7 to go to the gym and then getting a flat tyre on my bike. Wanted to get it repaired but obviously the shop didn't open for another 2 hours! 2! That was such a weird realisation. Anyway, in order to get over the trauma I ordered a digital camera off t'internet. YAY, soon my blog will be illustrated. I fully intend to out-Japanese the Japanese with the amount of photos I will take.

To travel or not to travel?

2009-05-13T15:06:00.003+01:00

Sarah from Hawaii was in London yesterday, stopping over on her marathon journey from Cairo (she's been living there) to Maui. I can't imagine being involved in any travel itinerary where part of it was 'fly from London to LA' and only being about halfway through. Poor girl. Great to see her though, must have been at least two years. She was all happy and glowing, but why wouldn't she be? Boyfriend in Egypt and going back to Maui to work for her dad. I can't imagine what its like to come from a place most people (in Europe at least) would consider a dream destination. Went over to Brick Lane and had some red wine with Anthony and Bean and had a good chat and catch up.

She left bright and early this morning and I seized the opportunity to go into town to the gallery where I might work in the vain hope of tracking down the girl I met who works there. Of course she was out. Now I don't know if I should go back again or just leave it! They change exhibitions next week so maybe I'll pop in for that. Met Brittany and James for lunch, then swung by Debenhams on the way home and 'accidentally' spent £150 on a new duvet, sheets and pillows. Never bought any before so I felt it was my time, plus they were 50% off so they were practically free.

Sarah was inviting all and sundry to Maui for August when her parents are away. I've already got an invite to go to Martha's Vineyard for August too. Plus I might be going to the Biennale in Venice, plus I might go and see an Opera by The Knife in Germany in October which happens to be around Oktoberfest. Having recently returned from France and Spain and said repeatedly to anyone who would listen 'remind me never to leave London again' it seems strange that its only a fortnight later and I'm planning to visit Venice, Maui, Martha's Vineyard, Dresden, Berlin and Munich. I guess Venice and Germany would just be a couple of weekends and the states is like going home so it doesn't really count. That's what I'll tell myself anyway.

Vietnamese

2009-05-12T13:15:00.002+01:00

Went to Mien Tay for Vietnamese food last night (http://www.london-eating.co.uk/34588.htm) for Faye's birthday. Can't say the food was particularly distinguished - all the Vietnamese places on the Kingsland Road are amazing and Mien Tay was certainly no exception. Had salt and pepper squid, fried seaweed and a delicious pancake to start. Main course was fried pork cutlets with egg and rice. All very good and the bill was only £10 a head! Amazing. The people were lovely too - really friendly (one of them had the cutest baby) and when we sang happy birthday to Faye they quickly whipped up some banana fritters and stuck candles in them. So nice.

Think I can safely say I'm recovered from the weekend - feeling fresh and ready to tackle life. Need to get butt in gear this week. Shopping and gallery tomorrow, need to find stuff to do today - maybe I'll go see the new Wolverine move. Hmmmm, gym first.

Weekends of fun

2009-05-11T11:30:00.003+01:00

Hmmm its seems I'm falling into the trap of doing nothing all week long and then hanging out with people at the weekend when they are free. Very bad, I need to do stuff during the week by myself to ensure I'm enriching my life at least a little bit. Maybe that can be my quest for the week - at least two posts about interesting things I've done this week. Going to the gym does not count.

Wasted the weekend a bit as well cause I was stoned for most of it. Not freshly stoned either but at the end of a week of smoking pot which needless to say made me hungry, lazy and reluctant to go out. Friday I went round to Jack and Laura's house and hung out with Billy, Molly, Anthony and Bean. For some reason we had an arm wrestling competition - I beat all the girls RAR, what a man - then played poker til 6 o clock in the morning. The whole time we were smoking, drinking and doing lines. Playing poker and doing lines? Who have I turned into? Neither of which I particularly enjoy but they do go well together and I had a great time. Got a kiss on the lips from Anthony as he was leaving too ... he's definitely straight. Ehem.

Saturday I came home, smoked, ate too much and then had to drag myself to my brother's 'I'm off to Australia' party. Lots of people there and he was quite the social butterfly. I was meant to go to Faye's birthday party after but have to confess I told Dom thats where I was going and just went home. I blame marijuana pshychosis and Damages - watched the entire first season in one go ... its amazing. Sunday I finished my weed and ate my way through the contents of the house. Dear me. Not good, so I lie here, Monday morning (just) trying to get my life into some kind of order and my head to function again. Think I'll be giving up smoking for quite some time.

Need to get on the job hunt (finally) this week, get to the gym, go to Pilar Corrias and generally improve and enrich my life. No more lying around, two hours of gym, lying around, bed. Whole of London is out there waiting for me.

Weekend

2009-05-05T10:43:00.003+01:00

Dom was over for Friday and Saturday nights ... first night out with friends in Camden and ready to depart for Brighton the following day for a house party of a girl he met in Dublin. I didn't go out on Friday, just a quiet night in. Was maybe going to go to a dance show in the Tate Modern turbine hall but it meant standing for two hours and I didn't fancy. Murray was also meant to be in packing for her trip to Ghana but obviously didn't show up til about 10:30pm. Walked Dom to ASDA on Saturday and then went off for a gym session. Read for the afternoon and then Deb came over in the evening to get stoned and wait to let Dom back in the house. Haven't smoked for ages and got really giggly and had an amazing time.

Dom came home and we watched TV for a bit then to bed. Sunday he went off to Dad's house and I went to the gym while waiting for mum to arrive. She finally arrived about 2 after a nightmare journey of rail replacement and closed tube lines. Saw her for an hour then cycled over to Queensway to Doig's hosue for lunch. Stopped off in Hyde Park for a quick cigarette and chat with Isi and Brittany. Had lovely lunch of Roast chicken and then sat on his balcony having a glass of wine or too. Then borrowed Doig's clothes and cycled into town to go to Ku Bar. Had a good dance in the skimpiets outfit I've ever worn in public. Had to leave urgently when Henry tried to set me up with an unattractive greas haired mook with drugs all over his face. It was only midnight but my back was hurting and I was ready to go anyway.

Monday went to Leung's Legend with mum and Miriam and then to the Picasso show at the National Gallery. It was a good show - always great to see Picassos - if not a bit shorter than I was expecting. Saw his version of Las Meninas for the first time and absolutely loved it. Maybe it appeals to my art histroian side but there was a lot of clever interpretation and response to the Valesquez. Particularly in his representation of the artist - seems to me Picasso was depicting him as a superior man of intuition, insight and creativity - a ball of energy and a conduit for inspiration compared to the more conventioanlly rendered images of the Spanish Royal family.

Arty people

2009-04-29T20:33:00.005+01:00

Met Gabriella for a drink last night, she was my flatmate for a year in Scotland. Only catch up every now and then, but since she is not working and neitehr am I perhaps we'll spend some quality time together. I was excited about writing this post mostly cause I get to illustrate the post with photos of Gabriella and there are so many great ones to choose from. This is what she looked like the last time I saw her:

Amazing. Obviously she doesn't wander round the streets like that, but she's often not far off. Saw a video of her on youtube when she was at an art installation in the Centre Point building naked from the waist down. I think I might be more familiar with her vagina than I am with my own groin. Had a great catch up - she's drinking now where before she wasn't a big fan so our interests have joined together somewhat. Hung out with her boyfriend who's an artist and other friends of hers from the art world. It certainly made a change from socialising with lawyers -interesting opinionated people who's whole purpose in life isn't fitting in. Made me think the art world was really where I belonged. Luckily there may be a job in the offing from one of Gabriella's friends. Won't post details til it actually happens, but might provide a great entry to the art world. Oh go on then, one more picture:

Much like me on a Friday night.

Watchmen

2009-04-26T22:48:00.004+01:00

Read the book and saw the movie. Book is very good and the film is a faithful and superb version of the book. Obviously like most movies it strips the heart from the text and makes obvious dispensations for the movie audience. The heroes are more heroic and more conventioanlly super heroes. Not necessarily a bad thing though, the action was great and rather than trying to capture on film what could never be the director instead created something enjoyable in its own right. I have a crush on Dr. Manhattan. Thank God he doesn't actually exist or I'd be saddled with a life long obsession. I feel the way about him I feel the way about Francois Sagat - we'd get on if we ever actually met. Dear me.

I've been reconsidering ... the extra violence and sex in the movie. Is it a necessary addition to make the story more like a movie, or was it added in by the studio, or is it a generational thing - extra sex and violence is needed to get the same effect?

Saturday is breakfast day

2009-04-26T02:33:00.002+01:00

Miriam in a flap packing Charlie for college while his lordship had a lie in. Had to leave the house to escape the crazy so cycled over to Borough Market to pick up some Monmouth. Met Brit and Isi, ate a chicken burger and some of Brit's Raclette. Can't get a better breakfast really! Cycled home, had a bath, read more of the Watchmen. Debbo came round about 10:30 and we drove to Warwick Avenue for the last five minutes of Sci-Fi's leaving drinks. Should've got their earlier, Otter was there and very drunk. Went with Matt, Genny and James to a couple of bars in Notting Hill and then home. Pleasant day all round really.

Another stressful day

2009-04-25T00:18:00.002+01:00

Curry was delicious last night, Mela on Shaftesbury Avenue. Reasonably priced, big portions and really tasty. Fully intend to go back. Came home to find Amy baking brownies for a bake sale she was having at work. She forgot to take them in this morning so I cycled them over first thing. Then hit the gym and killed an hour before another lovely job centre appointment to get free money from the government. Only had to wait 20 minutes which I think is a record for them. Was STARVING by the time I was finished so went to Sainos and got an already roasted chicken. Gone in two meals. Watchmen arrived today so started reading that, its good so far. Fell asleep for a couple of hours, restarted my Gaydar account. Got a surprising level of interest ... none of which I intend to reciprocate so I'm wondering why I bothered.

Spoke to Clare who said she's pregnant. Only two months though so I'm going to be keeping everything crossed for the next month. Hopefully it'll be fine. Also spoke to Debbo and was going to go out for a drink but she bailed. Walked Pepe instead ... cumped for a dog. Got dressed for our drink though and managed to fit into some jeans I hadn't worn since 2005, not skinny enough yet but DEFINITELY headed in the right direction. Well, until Murray came back with bake sale left overs and I helped her polish off a great chocolate and coconut cake. Nom nom.

Gravy baby

2009-04-23T17:18:00.002+01:00

Had a great day of catching up with people. Saw Brit, Lexi, James and Jack. Went with Jack to pick up a sign he had made as an example for his business. I'll hopefully post a picture when there's some publicity shots. Went for pie and mash, made a doctors appointment, restarted the endless signing on process. Super fun. Off to the gym shortly and then curry with the gays later. Second curry in two days. God its good to be back

Rage! Rage! Against the dying of the light

2009-04-22T23:41:00.000+01:00

I don't think anyone reads this blog which essentially means its me talking to myself. Ravings of a madman indeed.

Madrid!!!!

2009-04-22T23:07:00.005+01:00

Entirely failed on the blogging front recently. Mostly cause I was either half cut on cheap Spanish Rosado (3 Euros a litre, tastes like the £9 a bottle crap they have over here) or internet deprived. Rest of my time in La Bisbal was lovely, spent saturday having drinks with some Spanish fancies. Apparently La Bisbal is quite the place to have a country house if you are a Barcelona fancy. There was a woman at the party who lived in one of those Gaudi houses in Barcelona, why did she live their? Cause she commissioned it. Like I said, fancy (side note: she was amazing and looked like a photo from an Art History book of one of those eccentric millionaires who spent the entire 1930s hanging with Picasso and commissioning great works of art). Also present at the party was a spanish/american lesbian who presents the weather on CNN, she was also amazing. But for different reasons.

Whole weekend came to a crashing end with the overnight train from Girona to Madrid. The fast train takes 3 hours, the slow train 11. 11!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH. I can vouch for it as well because I was awake for every one of them ... lying on a metal plank in a room the size of a lift with 5 middle aged Spanish men snoring, farting and pespiring their way through the night. I lay hugging my rucksack through fear of theft on a 'bed' a foot too short for me drifting in and out of 'sleep'. Wish I'd been a bit more British about it and just marched up and down the corridor of the train in my nightie and dressing gown swilling gin and demanding a shower. WWSLD (What Would Shaunagh Latymer DO? My new inspiration for life).

Worth it though ... Madrid is amazing, has everything London has without the tedious 45 minute journeys between it all. Drury summed it up the best: 'I'm not sure I like it here: I look at my sister's life in Denver and she goes hiking and biking, throws dinner parties and has a nice time with her friends and thats what I want. All everybody does here is smoke, drink and party'. I think I've found home. One word of warning ... if you go see the Thyssen-Bornemisza collection (http://www.museothyssen.org/thyssen_ing/home.html) then once they've scanned your ticket go immediately left to the end of the exhibition and see the good art. Save yourself an hour of tedium and miss out the top two floors. You'll miss a couple of great paintings but you'll also miss a billion terrible ones. That woman wouldn't know a good painting if you beat her with one. Although to be fair I guess it would be quite hard to appreciate a painting if someone was beating you about the head with it. Some of the art was so ugly I swung wildly between laughter and terror. The gallery itself is also HIDEOUS. HIDEOUS. I was trying to illustrate this with one of the ugly pictures from the collection but for SOME reason they're not on the website so I went for one of the more impressive ones. If you're a billionaire and a Sergent is one of the most impressive paintings in your collection then you done wrong. Back in London now, thank God. Yes the world is an exciting and diverse place of wonder and excitement but its wasted on me. Give me London any day. Its good to be back.

Lunch booze and fun times

2009-04-17T22:49:00.002+01:00

Went crazy and had the 18 Euro menu at the local restaurant yesterday. Worth every penny. Spent the afternoon drinking and preparing for the arrival of Harry's mother. Probably wasn't enough time as she gives the phrase 'force of nature' a whole new meaning. Cut class diction, teeth together as she speaks and the word FUCK at least once in every sentence. Amazing. A role model come to life. Had dinner with her and Crispin and drank too much, ate too much and then compounded it all by staying up late into the night drinking quince liqour.

Today Crispin gave us a lift to the local market while Harry was at the dentist in Girona. Too hungover to function really but was an easy start to the day. Lunch was the ubiquitos rotisserie chicken that is sold all over the continent and was MORE than welcome. The afternoon was a three hour nap, followed by half an hour reading, followed by another long nap. Resurrected just in time for a delicious dinner cooked by Maria. Galtes ... or prok cheeks was the main, white chocolate mousse for dessert. All in all another challenging day.

Gosh, how civilised

2009-04-16T16:21:00.002+01:00

Spent a lovely day yesterday - woke up late, wandered into town for lunch at a local restaurant. Food was Catalan (boiled eggs with creamy spinach sauce for starter) and great quality. Plus we had three courses, wine, water and coffee all for the bargain price of 11 euros a head. Can't say fairer than that. The afternoon was spent reading by the pool or on a couch (Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, slightly cheesy, quite depressing but certainly enjoyed it) until the Spanish had finished their siesta. We wandered back into town to pick up food and wine. Had some jamon, bruschetta and other delicious tapas bits at a local bar. Came back to the house, more relaxation and then Harry cooked clams with white beans, followed by black squid ink risotto to celebrate the arrival of Gayden and Eagle about 11. Food, wine, pleasant conversaion and then bed by 2. Its a hard life.

Maybe Dali's not so crazy

2009-04-15T19:19:00.003+01:00

Last day in France and I celebrated with an Almond croissant in the car (first and last pastry in France!) as we headed to Spain! Driving to a foreign country ... very exciting. After a few hours blasting down immaculate French motorways we were waved through and barrier by a smiling guard and into Spain, well, Catalonia really. all the signs were in Catalan and nobody seems to speak Spanish, plus I think I'm on the side of Catalan separatists. Just over the Spanish border we headed East to Cadaques, home of Salvador Dali. Such a pretty coastal town - turqoise waters lapping on a sandy beach with white washed houses clinging to the precarious hill sides all round. Simply stunning.

Even more special though was what we discovered as we headed East where Dali's house actually is. All the way East actually ... to the most eastern point in Spain Cap de Creus. Considering we drove through a landscape merely consisting of rock, plants and grass I can say I've never been anywhere more alien. Strange and exotic rock formations abound. They they repeatedly show in Dali's work and I can see why he was so inspired. Pictures I can google don't do it justice so I'm afraid you're just going to have to go and see it for yourself. I highly recommend it.

Later Andrew drove me to Harry's house near La Bisbal. I say house ... its more a paradise on earth. House, tower (designed by a Gaudi pupil and pictured above), olive grove, dovecot, swimming pool and all on top of a hill so the views are breathtaking. Things you want in a holiday ... a note on the kitchen table saying 'roast suckling pig in the fridge, Maria coming to cook dinner on Friday' and a phone conversation along the line of 'make yourself at home and I'd highly recommend going up the tower to watch the sunset'. Amazing. And I did ... and I cried. Simply stunning. Harry arrived from raving in Morocco, much booze was drunk, substances were freebased and I went to bed happy at about 2. Check out the house at www.torreronsat.com and feel free to die of jealousy. I might never leave

Monday Millau

2009-04-15T19:07:00.004+01:00

Early start on Monday so we could head over to Millau and see the worlds tallest bridge. Drove through IMPENETRABLE fog for nigh on an hour. was insane, fog I'm used to ... it going on for miles and miles and miles and so thick you couldn't see more than 10ft out of the car was certainly a new experience. First stopped off in the gorgeous town of Millau and had a wander round. There's an old water mill on a bridge there that juts out over the side of the bridge and rests on supports. I WANT IT! Would live happily there for ever and ever. Loved the town. The bridge was incredible too and was certainly enhanced by the fog:

A very handsome bridge no doubt. So large that from a distance the scale is all wrong an you don't think its that big. As you get closer you realise its a lot further away than you thought and is actually enormous. Quick sandwich at the bridge then we headed of to Roquefort so see the cheese caves. Probably the most French experience of my life ... standing in a cheese cave listening to a talk about cheese in French while a group of French people made jokes about cheese around me. Unfortunately the cheese production is pretty uniform so there wasn't anything special there to buy, on the other hand it means the stuff you can get in Sainsburys is just as good as the stuff you can get in Roquefort itself.

Headed back to Montpellier, drinks in the square as the sun went down, dinner, more drinks. Lovely.

Avignon

2009-04-12T22:19:00.003+01:00

Ended up drunker than a skunk last night in a bar just round the corner which happened to be stocked to the brim with hot guys. About 6 in a room holding 25 people, I like that ratio. Was up til 3am drinking red wine by myself, listening ipod and sending texts to people in London. Probably end up costing me a billion pounds or so.

Today we drove to the medieval town of Avignon to see the Pope's palace. There are many reasons why there is one in Avignon as opposed to the Vatican but alas the audio guide was as tedious as dental surgery so I can't relay any pertinent information. The whole town itself is just insanely beautiful and lousy with history. Its a fortified town and pretty much all of the battlements are still standing. We had lunch in a pretty square (obviously) had ricard before the meal (obviously) and red wine from a carafe (obviously). For my main I had the special which was bull stew ... the bull having been recently dispatched in a local bull fight. Who knew there were bull fights in France? I'm glad there are - bull is delicious.

Tired now, early start tomorrow. Only had one bottle of wine between 4 people at dinner. Think I might be turning into a French person.

English weather, French behaviour

2009-04-11T19:29:00.002+01:00

Had a lovely dinner last night in what was basically a French man's living room. The menu was described to us by the owner/waiter/chef and was limited in content but not in quality. The experience was significantly enhanced by Bérangère grabbing hold of a ceramic chicken and exclaiming 'Ah! C'est jolie ça!' it was literally a GCSE French class come to life. We didn't make the club since we arrived to catch the bus after 1 which is when the last bus departed. Instead spent a pleasent evening enjoying the delights of the bars of Montpellier.

Today it rained. ALL day. It's only just stopped and it's nearly 9. We drove down to Sete which is a lovely coastal town famous for its seafood. Had a too brief to a Carrefour and headed into town. Had a good look around but no seafood since the market was shut and we were between meals. As I type this Andrew is making pastry for an Aspargus and Cheese tart, four bottles of vin rouge to get through and company to be had in a bar later. Lovely.

I HATE FRANCE

2009-04-10T15:07:00.006+01:00

I don't really but it's impossible to be here without quoting the inimitable words of Edwina Monsoon. I do, however, hate French keyboards. I'm typing this on a keyboard where you have to use the shift key to get a full stop, there's a Q where the A should be and a ù instead of an apostrophe. So apologies in advance for any nonsensical aspects. Flight passed without a hitch, I almost got to sit next to the hottest man in France but the woman in my aisle moved up rather than let him squeeze by. Very sad. Bumped into Isi in the airport briefly though, which was great. Was picked up by Andrew in his comedy French persons car, this isn't it but his is VERY similar, just blue:

Stayed up til 3 drinking wine and Pastis, listening to depressing music and setting the world to rights. Trés Français. At least its easy to do the correct accents with a French keyboard. Just had a long walk round the hilly medieaval streets of Montpellier, lunch in a small square with a carafe of wine and stopped in a glorious cheese shop on the way home. Tonight its Moroccon food in the Arab quater then clubbing. Clubbing. In France. Clubbing. Behold the Techno.

The one blot on Montpellier is the Antigone built in the 70s by blind, almost certainly insane people. A little slice of Saudi Arabia in the south of France. Judge for yourself:

It's on the postcards which implies they're proud of it. Hmmmmmmm I'm clearly missing something:

Hello? peeps nervously round door

2009-04-08T21:00:00.006+01:00

Having recently endured the horror of being made redundant and staring infinite time in the face, I thought it was about time to reignite the blog. I stopped because my boss pulled me into a meeting and said 'We can tell from the time of your blog posts that you've been writing it at work'!!! I was all 'and you can tell from the content that my life goals revolve around illegal drugs and falling down when drunk' so my writing career came to a swift end. Now I'm free, FREE!

The credit crunch, redundancy, unemployment. Words of horror and terror. Let me speak to you of my experiences of the world economic crisis: I went from being miserable, incarcerated in a prison camp 9 hours a day five days a week, to being set adrift into a world of near constant sunshine, limitless free time and £11,000 to enjoy it all. LET MY TALE BE A WARNING TO YOU ALL. Governments beware ... I went from enslaved, productive member of society, safely contained within the rat race to a free thinking, whirling, happy free spirit ... liable to dash off on holiday, kick up my heels for joy or do something entirely unexpected. Is that what you want from your populations?! IS IT? Who's going to do all the photocopying if everyone's too busy enjoying themselves? I suggest fixing the world economy immediately or risk total societal breakdown and an unstoppable outbreak of picnics.

So I guess the theme of my blog from now on is going to be my search for a new job/career and, by extension, self. More of that later though, for now the theme of my blog is going on holiday cause that's what I'm doing tomorrow - Montpellier, Barcelona, Madrid. I'm hoping I might never return from this trip but instead it'll be the jumping off point for a lifetime of adventures and opportunities. However, since most of my holiday plans revolve around wine (France, no explanation needed plus Spain = Sangria) I'll probably just be back in three weeks as planned - unemployed, hungover and significantly poorer.

Mid-week

2008-07-10T10:03:00.002+01:00

Had Deborah round for dinner last night, made her a beef stew based on the Paleo diet. was pretty good but since the Paleo diet is strictly no salt the only thing I could think of to say about it was 'needs salt'. I was thinking about making a blog of my Paleo experience and putting recipes and stuff on it but it seems everyone who does similar puts pictures of whatever they've cooked and I don't own a camera. So no dice. Giving up salt hasn't been as hard as I thought. I really was expecting everything to taste of nothing, not only because I used to eat SO much salt but also because I'm a smoker. Turns out salt tastes like salt. Miss it a little bit but have a bad feeling I'm going to be making faces when eating other peoples food in the future because its 'too salty'.

Soho Gym

2008-07-09T11:19:00.004+01:00

Besides the inevitable cycling into work not alot was achieved yesterday apart from joining and attending the gym! It finally happened. As I hadn't eaten that much, hadn't been to the gym for literally YEARS and had cycled 18 miles in the preceeding 24hrs after a 17 day hiatus I couldn't do that much but at least it was a start. Was so tired, had to get off my bike and walk a portion of the way home ... there was nothing left to give in my muscles. Despondently ate some leftovers, watched TV, had a bath and went to bed.

God bless Soho Gym by the way. Gym of choice for the buffest men in London and by God does it make me happy to see them. It was a Tuesday afternoon and I would say I saw at least 15 guys whose bodies wouldn't have looked out of place on the cover of Men's Health. Already looking forward to going back.

Joyous return to work

2008-07-09T11:16:00.003+01:00

Monday I cycled into work, did work, contemplated suicide and then went home. Embarked on the Paleo diet, think that might be worthy of a separate blog, if not only for my benefit. Rubbed a solution of vinegar and salt into some t-shirts to get deodarent marks out (something I've been saying I'm going to do for about 6 months) caught up with peeps on the phone and then popped over to ASDA to get some fruit, nuts and a bottle of water. Not a bad day really.

EVIL Delta, never again

2008-07-07T10:41:00.003+01:00

Alarm went off at 5:30 I woke up feeling distinctly worse for wear. Didn't stop feeling incredibly unwell until about an hour into my flight and that was about 5 hours away. Got a car to the airport that had no air conditioner, but certainly had a functioning stereo out of which blasted gospel music all the way to the airport. Got to the airport and queued in a room no bigger than a primary school gym for 1hr 45mins to get through check-in and security. All the while being screamed at by officious Delta emplyoees "stand back against the waaall please" "Ma'am if you undo your bag there we're going to have to escort you outside". UGH! That lovely American way of saying "SIR!" with so much emphasis that they're basically saying 'Oi! TWAT!' with a mask of civility. Got to the airport incredibly early, which turned out to be a good thing cause if I'd shown up when Delta suggested I'd have missed my flight. Small suggestion for you Delta - have more than one metal detector for your entire international terminal. I'm just saying.

Eventually made it on to the plane which was pretty full and very delayed in taking off. Plane food was pretty good - chicken and grits - and the movies were as rampantly bad as ever. First was 21, gambling movie with Kevin Spacey acting like a pantomime dame and then Fool's Gold. I was excited that FG was the movie as I wanted to see it although I knew it would be shit and the plane is the perfect place for that sort of movie experience. Why did I want to see it? Cause of Matthew of course, might be his best movie so far. He was clothed for literally 20% of the movie. Amazing. Plus he's a homo apparently .... Foxley knows some guy who slept with him. There's a life goal. Wasn't too bad a flight really, think I was too tired to worry about dying.

As the plane was delayed taking off we missed our landing slot and circled Heathrow about 500 times. Eventually we landed, I got my bag and ten spent 2.5hours trying to get back to Clapham. It was the perfect 'fuck you' return to London. It was cold, everything was delayed, the tube was unbelieveably inefficient and I finally got to bed at 1am. 15 hours of travelling. Nice.

Farewell

2008-07-07T10:37:00.003+01:00

I went to bed with the intention that I would get up on Saturday, have breakfast with the guys and then head up to Harlem. Which is pretty much what I did, excpet I went to bed at 4am so breakfast eneded up being at 3pm. That, plus an episode of Iron Chef America meant I arrived about 6pm. Couple of drinks and cigarettes on the deck and we were heading out for round two of the ever so good Isohama. sushi was even more amazing than last time, not only because the fish was fresher but because we ordered a round up of all time favourites. Two words people WHITE TUNA. OMG. Plus they make a mean Lychee Martini - not the sweet, cloying srup I've had in London but a refreshing and cranberry-dry sophisticated cocktail. Yum. Afterwards we headed out on the town and toured around a couple of bars. Names escape me but good company, crazy Russians and hot handymen do not. Eventually we rolled in watched an episode of Scrubs and I went to sleep about 2:30. Last night in NY *sniff*.

Lisa Garza Day

2008-07-07T10:36:00.002+01:00

Suffering a massive hangover from the previous night meant my activites were pretty much limited to ordering fried chicken from Georgia's East Side Barbecue (AMAZING) and watching 5 hours of a reality TV show about a competition to be the next star (TV chef) on the food network. God its good. I'm sad not to be able to see it anymore. Perhaps I can find it on surfthechannel. Hmmmmm. Mostly due to the lady who titles this post. Go find her, I swear she's barely human. James and Corty are made of sterner stuff then I and both re-commenced drinking with the intention of going out. To be fair it was 4th July and a little partying was to be expected. As evening rolled around we could vaguely make out the East River fireworks from the fire escape of their apartment. A better view could be had from the roof but even the thought of stepping onto the fire escape filled me with nausea. Besides, firewaroks, meh, who cares? Saw the biggest fireworks display EVER in London and that was good, but has ruined all other firework shows thereafter. Jame and Corty ended up not going out, but spotted a party going on in the building next door. Corty was concerned it was a bit of a 'sausage fest' and wasn't to keen on going. James, with the irrepresable spirit of the part and the determination that there'd be more girls inside, took a flying leap of the side of the building and fell 7ft to the building below, landed awkwardly and bruised both his ankles. He tried to walk it off and maintain composure. But crippling agony and the realisation he'd crashed a gay party meant he soon returned home! Corty took advantage of the situation and piled James' bed (with him in it) with shoes, shaving foam, umbrellas and toilet roll. I've got the pictures, but not sure how to get them from phone to computer.

Mi casa es Schnabel's casa

2008-07-07T10:35:00.002+01:00

Woke up with the realisation that I had but a few short days in NY and had as yet failed to visit an art museum of any description. Being that MOMA has probably the best art collection in the world and had recently been refitted I decided to head there. The art was as extraordinary as ever - an unrelenting sequence of art historical superstars hung tightly together, giving the impression of being repeatedly slapped. The new building was outstanding - large, open, public spaces full of light without any sense of intimidation. The most successful part was the flooring and the way the walls ended half a centimetre before touching it which gave the whole gallery a sense of lightness. Very Japanese, no surprises as it was a Japanese architect, Yoshio Taniguchi who was responsible for it. Perhaps the only bad thing was the way the paintings were hung - too many high imapct paintings on the top floor made the next floor down a somewhat deflated balloon of American works. I liked that the paintings were on the top two floors though - meant I saw more of the prints etc than I otherwise would've bothered with. Didn't like the paintings being on the top floor cause I nearly passed out walking across one of the elevated walkways with their glass walls. I soon learned to keep my eyes fixed straight ahead and not look either side.

Also realised I hadn't bought ANYTHING during my whole trip and so stopped at SAKS on my way out. Brief flash round, brief acknowledgement of how cheap I am and back onto the pavement. Then took a long walk from 55th to 27th street looking for somewhere to eat and ended up at a random Vietnamese place that was both cheap and tasty. After that was invited round to the Duke's house and spent a happy couple of hours dipping and drinking beer. Alas the Saint had heavenly duties in Harlem and so I headed to the Bowery solo where the beer drinking continued and delicious lobster bake was ordered from Nolita. Foxley came and joined us and we headed out to Marie's Crisis. Marie's Crisis is a gay piano bar and is principally known to me as the place Parker Posey's character works in Adam and Steve. As show tunes and live music are my ideas of fresh hell I was dragged along to get my hackles up and to endure the experience. I can see the appeal, the bar itself is great ... underground shame hole with some great behind-the-bar art and a massively saggy-bosomed proprietress. If only they'd just stop with the singing. After that we headed to the Rusty Knot on the West Side highway a particular favourite of Foxley's. Was pretty fun ... drank $11 Mai Tai's till they were coming out of my ears and pinnochio's nose was coming out of my face.

On the way out we'd walked passed Julian Schanbel's insane 17 storey mansion Palazzo Chupi [above] and Foxley was telling us about how it had been renovated and the spec of the place. On the way back, under the influence of much booze, James disappeared through the front door said to the doorman 'Hey, I'm Jean, I'm here to see Julian' and swished into the lift. A short while later he opened the garage door and we all crept into his house. Having been used to the boxy rooms and tight living space of most NY apartments it was very unusual to be in a place where entire rooms, nay entire floors, were given over to the installation of art. After four or so floors of art installation mania (eg the garge had two giant 15ft high figures fighting with what appeared to by giant needles) I started feeling guilty about being in someone else's house and so left. Corty and James powered on up and got high enough to hear footsteps and a dog! Eventually the doorman came to get them, seemingly very relaxed about the whole thing saying 'I hope you guys had a good time' and they were lead back onto the street.

Rocky is a national treasure

2008-07-03T04:53:00.006+01:00

Despite our intentions to make an early start and take in some historical sites gin, pot and cheesesteaks ensured our depature was in the pm rather than the am. We headed over to the Reading Terminal Market which is glorious emporium of every imaginable cuisine mixed in with stalls of produce. Could easily imagine myself spening a great deal of time in there .... might even be worth moving to Philadelphia for. Hmmmm maybe I shouldn't be quite so obsessed with food shops. After 'breakfast' we swung by the house and picked up E's boyfriend and headed over to the Mutter museum of medial oddities. They'll try and tell you its the museum of the College of Physicians of Philadeplhia but I know a siamese-twin fetus in a jar when I see one ... and they had about 15. I'm not sure when I started likeing medical oddities and taxidermy. Both seemed to have emerged around the time I first started reading David Sedaris. I'd like to think his work awoke within me latent love of stuffed fauna and freakish skin conditions but have a sneaky suspicion I'm just imitating him like an imprerssionable 16 year old girl with a bedroom full of posters. Either way I left the Mutter museum educated, impressed and nauseous ... what's better than that? Along with a large collecion of skeletons, babies in jars and dried children's corpses (I shit you not) they have the distended colon from a guy who had 40lbs of poop removed from inside him when he died. Mmmmmm.

After the museum we did a quick driving tour of the major points of interest in Philly: city hall, indepedance hall, the university, West Philly (y'all know it from the Fresh Prince of Bell Air theme song) the boat clubs and the art museum. The steps of the Art Museum were famously cannonised in the Rockey movie and now, helpfully, there is a statue of Rocy there to remind you of the fact. Its at the bottom of the steps. They wanted to put it at the top, but apprently the ART museum had a problem with that. Can't imagine what. Hopped a train to Penn Station and before long was back in NY and the comfort of Harlem.

Philadelphia

2008-07-03T04:53:00.004+01:00

Due to making decisions when drunk I woke up with a mission to head to Harlem, change and pack for a quick jaunt to Philadelphia. Corty's sister was driving his car back and we decided to join her. Henry spent a year there, Corty is from there and I'd never met his sister before (everyone kept telling me how much I'd love her) so many good reasons to go. Very glad I went as well, enjoyed Corty's sister as much as everyone said I would and liked Philadelphia more than I thought I ever could. For me it was almost the exact opposite of New Orleans. I expected the Big Easy to be a load of old buildings and creaking history but actually found a modern concrete jungle with a histroic district. Philadelphia, howver, I expected a modern connurbation but actually found rampant history with a small, modern business district. I'm sure it helped that E lived in the historic part of the city so I saw that bit first, but still, the overall impression was one of cosy historicism.

We got into town and met boyfriend and dog. The human constituents of our party then headed out for dinner. As a special treat for me someone had managed to organise a warship being parked up near the city so there were sailors in uniform EVERYWHERE and we sat outside a Cuban restaurant for dinner so had a great view of all of them. After an OK dinner Corty and I headed into the silent bars of Philly (apparently Tuesday night in Philly is not so hot) and drank a bottle of gin between us. This was followed by a bit of drunk driving to Pats at 3 in the monring for a cheesesteak. As Corty is a native of Philadelphia and a good friend I've heard over many years the glory of the cheesesteak and was eager the try it out. Being a contrary sort of person and definitely NOT a fan of processed cheese I was all reay to be discerning and hate it. First few bites I was impressed but not overwhelmed, about half way through I hit the sweet spot and it went from being good to one of the greatest things I've ever had to eat. The combination of steak, onions, cheese whiz and bread is something truly extraordinary. Each component as tasty and as necessary as the other. It pains me to know that I will not have an authentic one again for a long time.

Day of Ken

2008-07-03T04:52:00.002+01:00

On Ken's suggestion we (Ken, Jen and I) headed downtown to go see an art exhibition. After stopping for a cheeky beer (would've been more but it was already about 5pm) we headed over to the gallery. Which was shut on Monday. Taking this in our stride I'd had the happy news that Corty was back in town after finally leaving the Poconos. Luckily as he'd been in the Poconos he came back with an ice chest full of beer which we quickly demolished. After some food (FANTASTIC burgers from La Esquina, best in NY? Haven't had enough to say for sure but they were pretty damn good!) all trooped off to Brooklyn on the promise of some Burlesque action. Turned out to be more of a vaudeville show with contortionists, magicians and removers of clothing in the line up. The acts ranged from nightmare inducing [woman dressed a pinocchio strips to reveal boobs with pasties on them and a nine inch rubber penis] to impressive [guy steps into a de-strug tennis racket, puts his head into it and pulls it back over his folded body]. After that we went to Church (not THAT kind of church, no one wants blood dripping down the walls so I try to steer clear of actualy religious structures), listened to Gospel and danced to a live band. Went back to the Bowery, smoked a doob and unconciousness was easily reached.

Dip, peace and Aliens.

2008-06-30T03:30:00.001+01:00

Woke up early(ish) in the morning and headed uptown to the blissful peace of the Harlem deck. Comfort and serenity was shortly enjoined by delicious food and much rubbing of belly. Had a (million potions of a) dip of cheese, chicken and spices [propriety prevents me from revealing too much] and if that wasn't enough was followed up by delicious, tender, fall apart when you breathe too hard on it meat and pasta. Who's a lucky house guest? Along with the food there was great company and Trivial Pursuit action. Much hilarity was had on Ken's suggestion that we make aliens out of our chins and film them upside down. First time I've cried with laughter without the aid of drugs or a comedian in quite some time!

Saturday brunch, New York, New York

2008-06-30T03:25:00.003+01:00

Got up, hooked up the AC and went to brunch. Ate a cobb salad in a place that was NY from its checkered floor to wood ceiling. Great brunch place. Would've felt more NY if there'd been an American at breakfast but it still worked with a Canuk and a couple of english guys. Went back to James' place and we celebrated the cool delights of the AC. We then tidied the huge amount of mess out of James' giant apartment and it was almost habitable by the end. Had a joint, got chinese food. Chinese food was courtesy of Joe's Shanghai and their legendary soup dumplings. They were everything I hoped for and a little more. By the late evening I was stoned and in no mood for the coke fueled high-jinks planned for on the town so headed to bed and blissful sleep.

Heat, heat and then some humidity for good measure.

2008-06-30T03:20:00.003+01:00

Friday woke up on James' couch in sweltering heat and pretty much stayed in the same position and temperature for the rest of the day. James didn't get up til 4 and I was too hungover and hot to consider creating fun for myself. In the evening I ended up getting pot and ice cream. Later on Foxley came over and we hung out, watched TV, got EXTREMELY hot and sweated. At about 11:30 Foxley couldn't take any more and headed home. At about 12pm James said 'I should really hook up the AC in here'. Turned out that he had a $2000 air conditioner for the living room which was functional apart from the fact that it was not hooked up. I suggested we do it now but James said it would take hours and was too stoned to attempt it. We hooked it up in the morning. It took about 4 minutes. I hate him. So do my sweaty clothes.

Booze, guitairs, pot and fifties dancing

2008-06-30T03:12:00.002+01:00

Most of Thursday's activities were relegated to lying on the sofa and going ooooh, aaaaah at the pain in my poor muscles. Still slightly sore now and its 4 days later. First activity of the day was meeting the Saint at her office, alas severe injury and David Sedaris meant we had to reschedule for meeting at the Food Emproium instead, not exactly a hardship. After a quick shop for o-so-delicious curry paste and a suicide-inducing crawl through NY's finest muggy heat we arrived at Brendan's apartment. An evening of pot-smoking, guitair playing, drinking and drunken shouting ensued. Its hard thinking about being grown up and successful and celebrating with fancy clothes and chamagne when all I ever want to do is drink beer, smoke pot and sit on a couch. Could be hard to pull off at a work function. So after a blissfully debauched scene I dragged myself out to meet James and Jenny. Jenny is an old-school NY party girl was a feature of the Party Monster book/movie/murder. Needless to say time hadn't dapened her party inclination and after hitting a couple of less than enticing venues we danced into the small hours to jive music at some downtowm dive bar. I was drunk. I accidentally made out with Jenny. I blame her.

Like a person, but better

2008-06-26T05:14:00.002+01:00

Today I woke up sore from yoga yesterday. Yesterday's yoga was in preparation for the fact that Carleigh was going to take me to a full on yoga class. As I hadn't done any yoga for a while and had never been to an Ashtanga class I thought I'd better have a go before humiliating myself in public. Turns out I needn't have bothered since everyone in the class was bascially elastic held together by rubber and I'm more fat and gristle held together by titanium and dodgy ligaments. Thought I did well all things considered and was absolutely pouring sweat within 2 seconds of the first salutation. I'm a big fan of jumping in at the deep end, think you learn faster and achieve more and the class was certainly that. Have been very stiff and suffering ever since but a hot bath and some delicate streching (and 4 G&T's) mean I'm feeling no pain. After class Carliegh got me a coconut water drink (which I have a funny feeling I could become obsessed with ... has the strangest taste and texture, amazing) and then bought me a sushi lunch in a place a couple pf blocks down fifth avenue. After that we rode the subway together and she dropped me off so I could go grocery shopping at Trader Joes. Headed home and was pleasently surprised to find the Saint in residence. we hung out, got groceries and then Carliegh came over for dinner. Dinner and drinks on the deck were followed by a quick blast of opera in the stairwell courtesy of Carleigh. Couple more drinks later and I'm ready for bed. Quite the day.

New York a la Francaise

2008-06-26T05:00:00.002+01:00

Wednesday was spent in anticipation of seeing Drury. I was expecting that to be about lunchtime but it ended up being more about 4. Spent a peaceful day doing yoga on the deck, enjoying the sunshine and having lunch. Went downtown to meet Drury and managed to squeeze in Chipotle and picking my keys up from the Saint. Hung out with Drur for an hour or so and then headed to James' place. Met Taylor for the first time, great guy. Southern drawl, could give a shit attitude and a pipe full of green. My kind of guy. Was invited by Steve to go to an opening at the Milk gallery. Great to see her, not so great to see the art ... coloured photos of Bowie, Lou Reed and some other douche. Quelle horreur. Fun though, was like being on a film set of every New york art party I've ever seen committed to celluloid. Lots of beautiful people looking over each others shoulders, downing the free booze and generally looking very pleased with themselves. Elijah Wood was there, unsurprisingly small but surprisingly unprepossessing. In the same way that restaurants you see on television look very run of the mill in real life, so did Elijah. I was expecting lumious blue eyes and star quality. I got friendly looking short guy. Afterwards we all went to a French restaurant opposite Pastis for salad nicoise and steak tartare. Great meal, great company, great night.

Travels with the Subway

2008-06-24T14:20:00.002+01:00

Yesterday was spent going round the city on the subway to have lunch with James, drop Drury at an appointment and meet the Saint at her office. I'm still in such tourist heaven than simply walking around and looking is all the entertainment I need. Saw a lot of the city, saw a lot of sunshine and walked up a storm. Met the Saint and she took me to some of New York's finer food emporiums ... great Asian supermarket, organic food nestled under tiled arches and an over priced gorcers straight off the pages of 90s design book. As if that wasn't reward enough we then met the Boss at the infamous Isohama and indulged in sushi heaven. Thanks to knowledgable and confient guides I was taken on a tour of Isohama's finest offerings and particularly enjoyed avacado sushi filled with crunchy shrimpy deliciousness and a seaweed salad containing the magical and mysterious invisbile seaweed. Short cab ride later and we achieved deck and cigarettes. Bit of TV then bed. Bliss

Deck the deck with boughs of beer

2008-06-24T14:15:00.002+01:00

Sunday was spent in a mixture of sunshine and rain out on the deck drinking beers and smoking cigarettes. Was my first opportunity to meet the heavenly host associated with the Saint (including upstairs neighbour, bridal handmaidens and their relatives) and it was a fantastic day. highlight was the food ... delicious Cuban pork and a great leek risotto to go with it. Beer, jet lag and sunshine got to me and I was in bed by 11.

Mermaids and sleep

2008-06-24T14:09:00.002+01:00

Saturday I went for breakfast/lunch with James and then headed to Union Square to pick up Drury. 6 years since I'd seen her. We all headed down to Coney Island to see the Mermaid Parade. Missed most of the parade but it was great to be in place that is mentioned in every New York based movie/sit-com ever made. Wanted to go on the rollercoaster but the line was too long. Perhaps a return visit is in order. Walked along a surprisingly nice beach and then came back into town. On the way back to James' we stoppped at Chipotle and got burritos. Words cannot describe the glory of Chipotle .. spicy, healthy, voluminous - I'll be going back post haste. The idea was then to go back and have beers before heading out for Jenny's birthday. While James went out to get beer I decided to take a quick disco nap, it was 9 ... thought I could sleep to ten and be ready for a long night out. Instead I slept til 7:30 and was ready for breakfast.

The city so good they named it twice

2008-06-24T13:56:00.002+01:00

I'm in New York! I'd never understood the 'named it twice' moniker for New York until someone I knew moved here and told me their address. Silly me. Decided I need to blog before I forget everything I've done and when people ask me what I did on my trip I look blank and say 'Went for drinks?'. Flew in on Friday after enduring 8 hours of stress and fear. Neither of which was relieved by the in flight movie selection of the Spyderwyck Chronicles, Horton Hears a Hoo and 27 Dresses. Had the traditional NY taxi greeting of man who didn't know where I was going and didn't know what anti-perspirant was. It was hot, hot, hot ... humid and sticky. Nice change from London, feels like I'm enjoying a city break while at the same time having the benefits of a beach holiday.

Arrived at the Saint's abode and as befits someone so cannonized it is heavenly. Leather couches, wooden floors and a glorious deck. Within 3 minutes of arrival I was on the deck with a beer, on my 5th cigaretteand the flight began to seem like a very long time ago. Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to tarry as my prescence was requested downtown. Got a local cab company to drive me down which meant I rode down in a giant blacked out SUV decorated with crucifixes. Went round to Foxley's place. first time I'd seen him in four years. Met his boyfriend and two of his boyfriend's friends before heading out to James' place. Had drinks there with Jenny and a Canadian guy and waited for Noods to arrive. When she got in we all headed out for drinks on the town. one short drink later that was abandoned and I headed back with Foxley to smoke pot and watch TV. Saw a great reality show about people auditioning to be presenters on the food network. I use the word 'people' loosely. James came over and I crashed at his about 6 am ... which was 11 am London time!

Houston, we have no problem

2008-06-16T12:02:00.003+01:00

Mission achieved as far as Friday night was concerned, Rowley was drunker than Lindsay Lohan and I wasn't far behind. Saturday night was Amy's farewell drinks as she's off to Brazil for 2 months (must try not to hate her). So basically the entire weekend was a blur of alcohol and hangovers. Ugh. There must be more to life than this. Although if there was you'd think I'd have discovered it by now, so maybe I'll just go on with the booze. Was great to see Rowley, seems being at war agrees with him - he was looking tan and skinny. Guess that proves how misplaced the beauty industry's focus is. He got some weird stomach bug and lost 14lbs in 4 days and has been at war in a desert. Don't see that making it way into any 'Editor recommends' columns any time soon. Should probably not underestimate the fashion industry though.

My office is freezing. FREEZING! Its sunny outside and I'm sitting here in three layers wishing I'd packed my jumper this morning, but since my cycling outfit was shorts and t-shirt you can see why I thought it'd be OK to leave it at home. Stupid air-conditioning.

On a lighter note

2008-06-12T15:09:00.003+01:00

Went round to Henry's last night and ate potato wedges and watched the Apprentice final. Was nice. Wasn't so nice trying to cycle into work this morning after all the vodka and wine I had to drink last night. Mmmmmm wine. Rowley returns from Afghanistan tomorrow with the intention of 'drinking an amount that would make Shane McGowan blush'. I'm going to be HAMMERED.

Slave labour

2008-06-12T15:07:00.002+01:00

I've been working ALL day today. ALL DAY. Out of a possible 3.5 hours of work 3.3 of it has been charged to clients. I only did 8 hours of billable work in January. Its almost like I've got a job. The lawyer I share an office with started at 4am. Urgh.

Date night

2008-06-11T11:46:00.002+01:00

Met up for a second date with the guy I went shopping in Tesco with. I'm officially going to have to stop using the word 'date' as neither night could've been further from a date. I guess last night sounds like a date ... we got coffee at Whole Foods, took them to Hyde Park and then went back to his place and watched a movie. But in terms of conversation (hot guys, random internet sex he had two days ago) it was most definitely not a date. Think that's a good thing as it seems to me he needs friends more than he needs a boyfriend at the moment and I'm so emotionally retarded that the whole idea of being something other than friends with someone fills me with nameless dread and overwhelming panic. Really nice evening though ... we watched White Chicks! It was OK, he's a big fan and as a result had quoted most of the funny lines by the time they came round so all I could muster was a gentle chuckle of recognition rather than guffaws of merriment, but I've definitely seen worse. The last 30mins I could've lived without (in fact I do live without the last 15mins as it was late and his DVD was scratched).

Its good to be out there though ... actually meeting new people and acting like a person. Its a step forward. All I've got to do now is have two surgeries, loose weight, have therapy and I'll be ready for a relationship. Yay me.

Bane of my life

2008-06-09T15:41:00.003+01:00

Just sitting here fuming at my desk when I suddenly remember I have an output for my impotent rage: the internet! Lucky internet. I was in the process of considering my greatest enemy and the scourge of humanity at large: transitions lenses. They are the ugliest, stupidest scab on the face of humanity ever to be propegated by a company. Designed seemingly for people devoid of all taste and style they are at least a lighthouse of social inability. Like the bells they used to make lepers wear they flash hideously from the gormless troll who decided to buy them 'stay away, stay away I have no taste and incapable of forming relationahips'. Bleurgh. I once vowed to kick eveyone I ever met who wore them. This created quite an awkward situation at a restaurant where I worked cause the boss wore them. A stumble and a 'whoops!' managed to disguise (vaguely) my viscious assault on his cankle.

BUY SOME PRESCRIPTION SUNGLASSES YOU CHEAPSKATES. Or stay indoors. If you own transitions then for the sake of everyone on the planet choose the latter option. And for your own sake take them off if you see me coming. BTW if you do own transitions lenses then WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? Don't you watch the news? Transitions lenses are the eyewear of choice for every paedophile on the planet (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7441793.stm). Should tell you something.

Window into my soul

2008-06-09T14:26:00.003+01:00

Here's a little peek into my subconcious ... I imagine the experience will be similar to that of looking at the scary face Michael Keaton shows Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin in Beetlejuice. Last night I had a dream about that girl I met about 2 months ago who is on Shipwrecked. Haven't seen her since. Anyway she went missing and I eventually found out that my close friends Laura and Jack (who are a couple) had murdered her because Jack had raped her and she was going to go to the police. I think that's going to be the plot of the new Pixar movie.

Boozin

2008-06-09T14:10:00.002+01:00

Having survived my massive hangover on Saturday, mostly because of the glorious buffet of eggs/sausages/bacon/beans/toast etc served up by the hotel ... what a sight when you're insanely hungover, tears sprang to my eyes ... I killed an hour or so by wandering round St. Helier. Headed to the airport and ended up waiting HOURS because my flight was delayed. Bastard Flybe. To add insult to injury they then flew me back to England on a plane with propellers! PROPELLERS! Not only had I traveled to Jersey but apparently through time as well. Everytime the plane moved, ticked, squeaked or sounded funny I gripped my seat rests and prepared myself for death. Luckily it never came.

Spent the evening with Dave and Deborah, went to Pucci Pizza (v good) and then bars on the Kings Road (v bad) and then back to bars in Putney and to Debs' house. Dave is a friend from law school who lives in Peru and has the greatest job on the planet. Its a testament to how much I like Dave that I enjoy his company and have a laugh with him, anybody else and I would be consumed with the greem flames of incandesent hatred and be forced to murder him, wear his skin and take over his life. He lives on the beach, eats giant Argentinian Lomo steaks that cost him £3, drives around in his 4X4 with his ultra cheap petrol sky diving, surfing, climbing mountains and being chased by gringo-loving uber-hot Peruvian girls. Pure coke is £1 a gram (neither of us indulge but STILL, helps to get the party going for everybody else) and buying a round of drinks for every person in a bar would probably cost $5. Oh and on top of that he works for ten weeks and then gets a three week holiday, for which his company will pay for a flight to and from anywhere in the world. Puts things in persepctive. Couldn't happen to a more deserving guy really, he's Irish (alright there fella, what's the craic? Fancy some boozin later?) and lovely. In fact he's somewhat reminiscent of Colin Farrell's character in scrubs. Great to see him anyway and I can't wait to get over there and see what there is to see and hang out with him some more.

We were up til 4am drinking. Sunday I didn't do much. No surprises there.

Perks of the job

2008-06-09T13:56:00.002+01:00

Friday afternoon I was indulged in a serious work-related perk. We had the corporate department dinner and it was held on Jersey. So not only did we get flown down to the Channel Islands and put up in a really nice hotel (http://www.grandjersey.com/Hotel/Photo-Gallery/) but we also go to miss a whole afternoon of work! Ooooooh! Arrived at about 5, went out onto the terrace and smoked (packets of cigarettes £1.50 each on the plane, God bless tax havens) and drank til dinner. It was a big spit roasted pig and it all looked delicious. Unfortunately it was a bit windy so by the time I'd sat down the food was STONE cold and didn't taste of much. Had about 600 beers by way of comepensation. Bonded with people from the Guernsey office, saw Brenda from the X-Factor sing live, threw up, went to bed. I was so drunk that I don't remember about 2 hours at the end of the evening which is a good thing as I was dancing, but a bad thing as so were the middle aged straight guys from my office. Apparently one of them did the splits. Definitely missed out on that. Adrina assures me that I appeared to be sober and did nothing to embarrass myself. I knew all the drinking at St. Andrews would pay dividends at some point.

Egg on my face

2008-06-05T14:34:00.001+01:00

I cycled into work this morning and for real, big smile on my face, Mr Bluebird on my shoulder etc etc. I love that my seratonin uptake is so non-existant that a few days of missing excercise and I can't see the wood for the trees. 40mins on a bike later and everything's gravy

Guru

2008-06-04T10:19:00.001+01:00

I'm obsessed with this guy: www.arthurdevany.com. This would normally be the point at which I would say I was going to follow his word to the letter, but really I don't know if I have the dedicaton. He's right though. Read this http://www.arthurdevany.com/webstuff/RevisedEssay.pdf and feel inspired!

Did I win yet?

2008-06-04T09:45:00.003+01:00

I've been trying very hard recently to win 'least updated blog on the internet' I've not got word from the awards committee yet but I'm sure that has something to do with Royal Mail and the poor standard of carrier pigeon they favour. Its only a matter of time before I am afforded the recognition I deserve. Why the lack of posting? Just been grumpy I guess. Was grumpy on Friday night and crapped out on birthday drinks that I REALLY should have gone to and my mood hasn't improved since. Saturday I spent 10 hours TEN helping Henry move house. He moved from the fourth floor of one building to the fourth floor of another and NEITHER have lifts. UGH. Plus Henry owns so much stuff that it took a rental van, a station wagon and a regular car two trips back and forth to get all his stuff. Only upside was that I got to drive the van and good GOD do I love driving vans.

Sunday I went to see the SATC movie. Everytime I mention the film I call it the 'new' SATC movie. Why? I just typed 'new SATC' and had to delete it. Anywho, went round to Henry's for Cosmos and brunch before heading over to the cinema. The movie was Celine Dion. Explanation: I hate Celine Dion, she makes my blood boil, my fists clench, sweat break out on my brow and I can feel an angry scream building in my throat everytime she winks or does something equally as cheesy [side note, just typing that has made me somewhat enraged] but at the same time I think she has probably the greatest singing voice on the planet right now. In terms of purity of tone and her ability to change note without sliding she is unparalelled. One of my fondest wishes was to take acid and go see her show in Vegas. The visual spectacluar, the soaring voice and my absolute rage would've been quite the experience. To be at once both enraged and blown away, thats what I call a night out. That was the way I felt about the SATC movie. It was at once both terrible and extremely good. The only things I really like about the show are the jokes and the fashion and both were of very high quality in the movie. The bits I don't like about the show (Carrie, relationships, female perspective) were all off-the-charts irritating and the story line was nowhere to be seen. I think I'll like it the more I see it, except for the bits with Jennifer Hudson in which can only get worse. Her prescence in the movie was so shoe-horned in and awkward that it felt like a different movie. So NUL points for Hudson so far - Dreamgirls was EVIL and she was shit in SATC.

Aside from that I've been coming home after work (ugh) and going up to my room (I want my own place) and watching SATC in the dark. Literally all I need is a box of bonbons and I'm a middle aged divorcee cliche. I think my being grumpy might have something to do with the fact that I haven't cycled for a while (too grumpy) and aren't getting my twice daily hit of endorphins, that or the fact that I'm having to wear cycling shorts under my suit to stop my bulging thighs rubbing together through the holes in the crotch of my suit.

One of those days

2008-05-29T14:12:00.002+01:00

Got a puncture on my bike, had to wear horrible suit to work, avocado I had for lunch wasn't ripe, typed a HUGE e-mail which took 45mins which then disappeared. *Sigh*. Roll on 5:30.

The paths of good and evil

2008-05-28T11:53:00.005+01:00

Just coming down to earth with some unpleasant jolts after a weekend of decadence in Amsterdam. Had a 6am flight from Gatwick to get, so obviously I went to bed stone cold sober on friday night at about 9pm. Except by 9pm I mean 2am and 'stone cold sober' means drunk off my ass, stoned to the point of incoherence and with some coke rubbed into my gums so I could stay awake on the cab ride home. Despite my best efforts to sabotage my holiday, I made the flight in body but not necessarily in mind. Was a great weekend of glorious sunshine, great food and smoking the reefer. Our accomodation was somewhat lacking in luxury but had all necesary amenities and it was an apartment, rather than a hotel so came with a certain sense of freedom. Our trip (6 of us, plus couple of others making brief guest appearances) basically consisted of smoking a joint, wandering to a cafe for a drink, wandering to a coffee shop and having a joint, getting lunch, wander, drink, wander, joint etc etc. As Amsterdam is the most beautiful city in northern europe and the sunshine was spectacular the whole holiday passed in blissful contemplation. Hit up the Rijksmuseum which was mostly shut and there was only a selection of about 9 rooms worth of stuff to see - couple of STUNNING inlaid cabinets, great Vermeers, surprisingly shoddy Nightwatchmen, great Rembrants.

The highlight of the trip had to be the food. This is a shame because when I tell people about it I can see them thinking 'you were so stoned you could've been eating gravel out of a bin and thought it was ambrosia' but really it wasn't just the pot, the food was incredible. We went to a Thai restaurant called the Bird and a great Indonesian whose name escapes me. The Thai was extraordinary - easily the best Thai I've ever had. We had one of those mixed appetiser starter things and every element of it was differently spiced, uniquely flavoured and cooked to perfection. I find Thai food suffers the most from lazy cooking - everything can easily end up tasting the same. The Bird puts such lazy caterers to shame and they should all be forced to go and experience the standard they should be aiming for.

Interesting thing I learned about Holland this weekend was that they have the WORST taste in music. A couple of locals (friends of one of my holiday companions) took us to a club that they said had funkier, edgier music they had found in the entire city. The night hit a low note when 'Summer loving' from Grease came on. Apprently the Dutch can't get enough of 80s power ballads either - I heard 'Alone' by Heart song about 50 times while I was there and had it stuck in my head yesterday and today as a result, in fact I'm humming it right now.

I went through this whole trip thinking seriously about whether or not I could move to Amsterdam. After my first trip there I took it as a given, but just to ensure that wasn't the pot thinking for me I gave it some serious contemplation this weekend from the point of actually existing there rather than just showing up, getting stoned and leaving. I guess the short answer is a resounding yes, especially since the people we met there told me that if you buy a flat in Amsterdam you get 50% of the value of the mortgage back out of your taxes. Its a small, perfectly formed city which means that funky newsagents, great food and fun bars are all within walking distance. The real estate is gorgeous and plentiful and obviously much cheaper than London. Its hard to deny that I would have a much better quality of life in the Dam than I do now. Plus it seems a paralegal there makes about 12K more than I do now. Hello.

So now I am faced with two options - move to Amsterdam or to Madrid. The Dam is much more the person that I was and still tend towards. I'd be in cold, northern european country, smoking pot, not going out very much, eating too much. Madrid and living with Drury would be far more inclined to clean living, yoga, sunshine (ugh) and socialising. So really I should move to Madrid, but I want to go to Amsterdam. Madrid would be really good for me, the Dam really enjoyable. The Dam a step back, Madrid a step forward. Hence the paths of good and evil. Which to choose? Perhaps the biggest plus for Amsterdam is that the language isn't too much of a problem EVERYBODY speaks english. Spain its more difficult because so many people speak Spanish. hmmmmmm.

Busy busy bee

2008-05-23T15:40:00.005+01:00

I've acutally been really busy this week, sort of. I've been busy cause I've been sent on errands out of the office which has meant that I've sat down at my desk at about 3 o clock. However, as the errands involved taking documents to destinations all over London on my bike I've spent most of my work week on my bike in the sunshine, so its basically been a holiday (cycling tour of London? Pretty fancy holiday from that side opf the pond). Plus the documents should've been dealt with in a day, but these things are never as straight forward as you think they're going to be. I won't go through the whole saga, but just give an example from today: had to get a document stamped at the UAE Embassy. For some reason this costs £400, I cycle over there and discover you can't pay by card so schlep off to the nearest cash point. It says my credit card is broken (no office credit card, I have to pay and claim it back!) and can't be read and I can only get £250 out on my swtich. The Embassy is closing in 20mins, so I have no choice but to head back to the office. Cost to client £300, achievement 0. Been like that all week, shouldn't complain as its basically been my dream 'work' week but it has meant that I'm behind on blogging, MSN chats and my internet gossip.

For instance the fact that I went two days ago to get soup dumplings went completely unremarked (YUM YUM YUM) and I've barely got time to mention how rubbish the new Indiana Jones film is, which I saw last night. Its really not a difficult job to make a movie that meets my low expectations of entertainment - I've seen Alien versus Predator at least three times, not because I'm a sadist but because I think its a genuinely enjoyable movie. The fact that Indiana Jones made go 'God that was rubbish' shows how low the franchise has sunk, Brittany thought it was worse than 10,000 BC ... bit harsh if you ask me but she's not 100% wrong.

Back to the grindstone

2008-05-22T09:21:00.003+01:00

I'm back at work after having the day off yesterday with an 'injured' back. Tuesday I'd cycled home like a maniac, did my usual 45min journey in 25 minutes, and woke up yesterday to realise there was no way I'd summon the strength to cycle in and couldn't face the cost and time it takes to travel in on public transport. Plus my nice suit is at the Brick Lane flat for me to change into when I cycle in so I'd have to wear the other one. 'Nice' is a relative term, it's my nice suit because its made of natural fibres, is tailored and doesn't have two holes in the groin. Bearing in mind I bought it in a charity shop and is tailored for a man who was roughly the same size as me but had a HUGE stomach ... mum removed a panel that had been inserted into the waist band and the trousers fit me perfectly, the jacket fits great round the shoulders and then there's about 5 meteres of spare fabric round the waist. The other is black polyester (just fabulous in the sun we're having), is ten years old and has two big holes in the groin. Sometimes I think I might be TOO fancy.

So why the rapido cycling home? Well, I had a date! It was organised at the last minute at work so I had the choice of cycling straight over (big sweaty mess in 15 year old jumper that is ripped, stained with bleach and had a white crust of dried sweat on the back) or cycling home and tubing it. So it was all in an effort to get home quickly, shower and get out in good time (as it turns out I had to wait 25mins for a train so it was all pointless anyway). Date was really nice, guy I met on the internet and had spoken to a couple of times on the phone. We had some drinks and then as I'd not eaten (he had) went in search of somewhere to get food. Due to a combination of my extreme cheapness and the fact that we were in the middle of nowhere we ended up going to Tesco to buy food. He needed to do grocery shopping, there was stuff I needed to get so we ended up shopping and then going home! Its not exactly a recipe for eroticism and romance, as dates go I don't think it would be high on anybody's list of aspirational outings, but I loved it! I love supermarkets, he was a great guy and was a really pleasant way to spend the evening. Plus I did the grocery shopping I'd been meaning to do for ages.

So it doesn't look like we'll be tearing each others clothes off any time soon, but I hope we'll definitely be friends and maybe it will lead somewhere in the future.

Ooooooh

2008-05-19T15:36:00.002+01:00

Wow, my computer has forgiven me and finally I'm being allowed to blog again. Whats been happening? Hmmmmmm went to see the tutankhmun exhibition. Normally find old crap really boring but was absolutely blown away. Mum's birthday today so went home over the weeked. Joing the gym after work. Not a lot really. Out of the last 5 weekends I've spent 4 of them with family. THIS HAS TO STOP. From now on its going to be me me me (no change there) and hanging out with friends. Unless I'm at the gym, which should be 24 hours a day.

Ah Texas

2008-05-08T15:16:00.002+01:00

My friend sent me this from Texas ... apparently this is a sign on her local pharma:

The Spanish cracks me up. Does Pharma mean pharmacy? why do they do screen printing? Oh its LA FAMA, means nothing to me

English Criminals

2008-05-07T15:10:00.003+01:00

A drunk Barrister got shot today in a gun battle with the police in his £2million Chelsea flat. It might be the poshest crime I've ever heard of.

Actual fun

2008-05-06T10:38:00.005+01:00

Having survived a few days of bored rain watching and misplaced anticipation I then embarked on some actual fun over the weekend. Spent time with mum on saturday afternoon wandering round the shops in glorious sunshine. Later on I cycled over to the BrickLane flat to pick up a pair of trousers I left there which I thought had my switch card in. My switch card was not in them. I cycled 12 miles for a pair of trousers. Plus I picked up my suit from there this morning and found my switch card in my suit pocket, so I could've got it. Grrrrr. Anywho, went home showered and waited for Andrew to arrive. Then we went over to the house mum was staying at (short walk across the common) where my brother was having a buffet/party for 5 or 6 of his friends. Got there and mum was absolutely plastered (arrived at 9:30, dinner was at 7:00) and spent the evening drinking and smoking with her and Andrew while everybody else went off to Infernos (ugh). Sample of my mum's conversation 'There was this time when I was going out with this Portugese bullfighter and I hit my head on a cupboard in his flat and had a concussion for three days. The doctor told me to stay in bed but I was so bored I went out and got drunk a lot instead, I was so concussed I don't remember anything about all three days'. That's mum for you.

Sunday I hung around the house and made curry before heading up to Stoke Newington in the afternoon for a barbeque that the Minges were having. Was fun, although the longer I was there and the drunker I got the more old and inappropriate feelings for Andrew resurfaced and I ended up sneaking off about 11pm without saying goodbye. Went round the Brick Lane flat which was in full party mode and ended up staying up til about 3am pounding beers and having a great time.

Monday was cinquo de mayo and after a morning of sitting outside in the pub enjoying the sunshine we re-camped to the roof of the Brick Lane flat (which has an amazing view of the city) and sat up there drinking beers, doing tequila shots and eating nachos. Lizzie's friends came over as well as a few of the usual suspects and in general a good time was had by all. The evening consisted of Vindaloo, Werner Herzog's new movie White Diamond (good) and a movie called Teeth about a girl who has teeth in her vagina (you can imagine). I also watched Southland Tales which is the new movie by the guy that did Donnie Darko. I thought Darko was TERRIBLE, really pretentious, seemingly full of hidden meaning but in fact meaningless and jumbled, poor characterisation and a film that wasn't sure what it was trying to be. Southland Tales confirmed my opinion of Richard Kelly (thanks IMDB!) ... possibly the worst film I've ever seen (so says a man who has seen Gigli 5 times and Swept Away) and this was in spite of the fact that it had Sean William Scott (future husband), the Rock (HOT!), Sarah Michelle Gellar (love her, well, love Buffy) and Bai Ling (speaks for itself) playing some of the major roles.

Back to work today. I will not cry. Well, not at my desk anyway.

Time well spent

2008-05-06T10:23:00.004+01:00

So what did I do with my days off? Not a lot really ... the weather was terrible and many hours were spent indoors looking at the rain falling on my skylight. This was why the one day off got extended, its not really a day off if you're just inside waiting for the rain to stop is it? The one time I decided to go out on my bike I set off in shorts and sunglasses and by the time I got to the end of my road was slammed by a monsoon which quickly forced me back inside. The terrible weather definitely compounded my furstration with life in general - so many places in the world a day off work would mean cycling through sun dappled country lanes, wine tasting in local vineyards, ANYTHING but because I live in London it just meant staring resentfully at the sky and trudging to the supermarket for supplies. Thursday afternoon I finally snapped and went and met Clare for a drink.

Mum was coming into town for the weekend and Andrew was coming up from the south of France, alas I was to miss them both as I was off on holiday to Amsterdam for the weekend. Thursday I saw a show about a woman seeing what would happen if she smoked a lot of pot for a month (part of series in which she didn't wash for a month, had lots of plastic surgery in a month etc). This meant there were lots of shots of her hanging out in Amsterdam giggling hysterically while trying to conduct interviews, needless to say this got me all excited and full of urgent anticipation (on a side note, did you know that Pot isn't legal in Amsterdam, its just tolerated? Sensible Dutch people). So I texted Lexi on Friday saying 'ooooh I can't wait to go to the Dam its going to be so much fun' and she sent back 'I know! I can't believe we have to wait so long'. I was thinking it's only about 12 hours, can she really be that impatient? On checking my ticket it tuned out we're going on the 24th May. I'd like to point out that already that day I'd checked my flight details on line to see what time I had to get to the airport and failed to notice that I was intending to arrive three weeks early. Having to tell about 15 people that you are in fact NOT going on holiday as you'd previously thought is no fun whatsoever.

It's oh so quiet .....

2008-05-06T09:54:00.002+01:00

Many apologies for lack of dedication to blogging. This lapse in attention has not been limited purely to the blogosphere but to life in general. Having recently had a week of holiday you'd think I'd be all gung ho and ready to launch myself into solid months of endless work but NO! In defiance of decency, hard work and the spirit of the blitz I was off sick for the last three days of last week. So that means I can manage about 2 and a half weeks of work before I require a holiday. I personally blame my boss ... I had a sore throat on Monday (possibly just from smoking over the weekend) which then developed in a cough on Tuesday morning and worsened throughout the day. Ended up being a long day and during the last two hours of work, both of which were outside conventional office hours, produced no fewer than 5 different contracts. so I was tired, miserable and dragging my sorry butt home when my boss heard me coughing and said 'God, bet you're not going to be in work tomorrow, go home, drink some lemsip and have an early night'. I mean she practically DARED me to take time off right? So I thought I'd have a relaxed day off and come back in. One became three, the rest is history.

Its all got to do with a general malaise over work in general. I quite like my job and its not too badly paid ... it's just not GOING anywhere. The whole point of the paralegaling was as a stop gap before I got my taining contract and became a high-flying legal eagle. Alas it was not to be and as the credit crunch deepens the possibility of a training contract slips ever further away. being paid an average salary in the world's most expensive city is no way to live. I spend my whole life not spending money, not going to restaurants and not going to the opera/pub/cinema , I pay minimal rent and somehow at the end of every month I have no money left. Obviously things could be a lot worse, but they could also be a lot better and I intend to do something about that. I've applied for a training contract starting September 2008. If it doesn't work out then I'm out of here ... job in Singapore, Dubai or Hong Kong. My original idea was a job in India, but foreign law frims are not yet allowed to practice there and I don't think anyone would employ me locally.

I've been trying to save money to take advantage of the half price shopping I'll be able to do when I'm stateside. Now, however, I'm cutting down on my extravagant spending plans and am considering it a relocation fund instead. If I get the training contract then I'm going to take August off and go traveling, if not then I'm using the cash to get to HK!

I see your Ramps and raise you some Monk's Beard

2008-04-29T09:36:00.002+01:00

Had delicious Monk's Beard for dinner last night, a delicious vegetable apparently from Tuscany. Its only avaliable 5 weeks of the year. Steam it, put on olive oil, lemon juice and sea salt ... make yummy noises. Best thing about it is that it doesn't taste like anything else. Therefore can't give a taste comparison, even the texture is unique. Really good, sort of an intense vegtal taste and then a mellow, soft after taste. I'd eat it all year round if I could. I was looking for a picture of it on t'internet and apparently in England Monk's Beard (barbarata de fratea) is known as 'Johnny go to bed at noon'. Can't think why that didn't catch on.

Who am I?

2008-04-28T10:05:00.002+01:00

Very nice weekend, canceled my plans at the lastminute to go out on Friday night in favour of a impecunios night in front of the TV round at Brick Lane. Woke up to GLORIOUS sunshine on Saturday, cycled home, showered changed, cycled to the station, hour to dad's house. Did yoga in the garden, hung out with my sister, took a bath, ate some food, watched TV, went to bed. On Sunday we took my sister swimming (she's four) then I spent the afternoon washing, oiling and fixing my bike before getting the train back to London, cycling to Brick Lane and eating delicious Caribbean curry.

Very pleasant all in all and achieved the goals of not spending very much money and doing some excercise. diet wasn't so great in that I'd failed to tell my dad I was eating veggie so had chicken twice, not too terrible I suppose.

I DID SOMETHING!

2008-04-24T17:18:00.002+01:00

I went to the Japan Centre at lunch today with Adrina and did some shopping (http://www.japancentre.com/). I was so excited to go as I just LOVE LOVE LOVE an asian supermarket. This one didn't disappoint, although smaller than I was expecting (in my mind it was a five floor Harrods-style warehouse of Japanese treats. It was infact two shops , two floors each, not bad) it was crammed with bank account stripping goodies. Managed to restrain myself to some instant noodles, soy sauce (£1.99 for a litre of Japanese soy, so Japanese there isn't a hint of English on the label!), rice crackers and some instant miso. Very restrained considering I could've got knives made by a family whose current members and ancestors make swords (they were about £170 each), bamboo gardening implements (all I need is a garden) and enough cookware to fit out 100 Japanese restaurants. The two greatest finds were the Sake section and the sushi. Never seen so much sake before in my entire life, like a really good wine shop but all bottles of sake ... for sure going to go to the Sunday afternoon tastings they do. The sushi was made on site, was of a very high standard and is the cheapest I've ever seen. The sushi place down the street from my office charges £1 for two cucmber maki, here 6 were £1.60. They sell a foot long platter of sushi of many different varieties for £3.80. I had eel don buri for £4, amazing. Can't wait to go back.

The good life

2008-04-22T14:42:00.004+01:00

Life continues quietly and calmly. I'm floating serenly on a pond of water lilies, in a skiff made of reeds, dangling my fingers in the water. Who needs excitement when you have contentment? Last night watched Enchanted with Amy, in my bed, drinking Mint tea. Was really enjoyable, Amy Adams was hilarious and whats-his-face-from-that-doctor-show was all debonnaire and handsome. James Marsden was surprisingly funny too (do I really need to mention that I love him? Probably not), only more Susan Sarandon could've improved the film.

Derren Brown came out yesterday. For those not in the know he's a 'psychological illusionist', basically he's a magician with an epic memory who doesn't claim to have magical powers and likes to show how his tricks work. If you haven't seen any of his shows then GO! Download! Find SOMETHING, he's really extraordinarily good at what he does. Most people find him creepy, so I obviously think he's insanely attractive and now I know he's on my team. Best get out my stalking kit.

UPDATE: Just read on his Wikipedia entry that he in fact came out in september of last year! Love that we're finally getting to the point where someone can come out and its not a national news sensation.

Weekend? What weekend?

2008-04-21T09:34:00.004+01:00

Not too bad a weekend all things considered. Went to Hot Stuff on Friday night and ate lots of delicious curry, didn't go out as I was already quite drunk and was expecting mum to arrive first thing Saturday. Woke up to Miriam packing her sons bags for university (I mean folding his clothes and everything, bearing in mind she was doing this while he was still asleep ... I pity his poor wife) and mum came about midday. Went for a wander around the (charity) shops of Clapham Junction and bought a new suit and a couple of new shirts. Had a nice quiet evening in.

Sunday I made Gordon Ramsey's scrambled eggs for breakfast (YUM) and then we went to Up market and I had my first Caribbean curry for a while. Evil ladies had not heated up the vegetarian option AND they put the price up. I thought that was finally the worldwide increases in food prices entering into my life but since they put the price of a can of coke up by 10p I think it may be more arbitrary than that. Wandered round the market some and then dropped mum off at the tube. Went home, did domestic things and some yoga and then cycled back to Brick Lane!

Hurrah! Finally got my bike on. Didn't look like it was going to happen first thing in the morning, so sunny Sunday afternoon seemed the perfect time to break the cycling seal. Especially since my boss wanted me to come in early today, so it made sense for me to stay over Brick Lane last night. Was really nice, I do love my bike. Quite looking forward to cycling home this evening. Must get some WD40, chain's a bit dodgy. We watched the Orphanage last night, GREAT movie. Really well made, very atmospheric and scary as hell! At one point I let out a genuine scream of terror and I mean scream. Also watched Paprika, a Japanimation film ... even though I've taken acid a few times and huge amounts of mushrooms it was the single craziest experience of my entire life. I recommend it highly.

Ravings of a madman

Highs and lows, lows and highs

Some days are sent to test you

Car bootin'

The shot that broke the camel's back

Canterbury

Voyeurism

Far and few, far and few

Hmmmmm

Hurrah!

What's that sound? It's a barrel being scraped

Of drugs and gays

It's been too long!

Knee Surgery

Steve's Birthday

The Diet Delusion

Home sweet home

Mmmmmmmmmmm cake

Green shoots

Sound of dust blowing ...

Bored, bored, bored

Bad blogger

5 days in a row is a habit, right?

Good or bad?

Monday morning you sure looked fine

Bad blogger

Food or no food?

All clear

Find of the century

Lots Part II

Lots

Other stuff this week

This week

Diet and Exercise

Family and frolicks

Schedule of Crazy

To travel or not to travel?

Vietnamese

Weekends of fun

Weekend

Arty people

Watchmen

Saturday is breakfast day

Another stressful day

Gravy baby

Rage! Rage! Against the dying of the light

Madrid!!!!

Lunch booze and fun times

Gosh, how civilised

Maybe Dali's not so crazy

Monday Millau

Avignon

English weather, French behaviour

I HATE FRANCE

Hello? *peeps nervously round door*

Mid-week

Soho Gym

Joyous return to work

EVIL Delta, never again

Farewell

Lisa Garza Day

Mi casa es Schnabel's casa

Rocky is a national treasure

Philadelphia

Day of Ken

Dip, peace and Aliens.

Saturday brunch, New York, New York

Heat, heat and then some humidity for good measure.

Booze, guitairs, pot and fifties dancing

Like a person, but better

New York a la Francaise

Travels with the Subway

Deck the deck with boughs of beer

Mermaids and sleep

The city so good they named it twice

Houston, we have no problem

On a lighter note

Slave labour

Date night

Bane of my life

Hello? peeps nervously round door